The curse of the baby daddy

In ancient times, before TV, a scorned sorceress cast the baby daddy curse on Genoa City, dooming generations of men to faux fatherhood. Two Scoops tells all.

Once upon a time, a young pregnant sorceress sought refuge among Genoa City's finest, one of which had sired her child. Legend has it that none claimed the child, so the sorceress left town, but not before placing a spell on the town's menfolk. Since that time, the baby daddy curse has caused nearly every man in Genoa City to either believe that he's the father of a child who isn't his or to be oblivious about a child that is his and is being raised by another. I mean, come on, man, think about it. Right off the bat, Billy, Nick, and Dylan come to mind as potential victims of the curse.

Detective Dylan has been duped twice since 2014, and Nick at least four times since Faith was born. Christian counts twice, once for Sharon's lie and once for Victor and Chelsea's continuing deceit, the lie about Summer makes three, and the falsehood about Faith makes a whopping four times that Nick has been deceived. That's a whole lot of coincidence if Nick is not cursed. What else could it be except a curse? Certainly not sloppy or repetitive storytelling. No siree, Bob!

All kidding aside, some very emotional scenes were played out last week between Nick, Sharon, and Dylan, with more to come. Sharon is on her way to being the total town pariah -- again -- now that baby Sully has been revealed as Christian. The deeper secret, that Christian belongs to Adam, not Nick, can now be kept until Adam returns from the dead -- if he does -- or until some other undetermined time in the future when that story will be ripe for the telling -- maybe just as Chelsea and Nick are about to walk down the aisle... (And, bippety-boom, just like that, the baby daddy curse strikes again!)

Such is the power of the curse to bestow or snatch fatherhood in the wake of faked pregnancies and paternity tests. I don't have any sympathy or empathy for Sharon this time around. She learned nothing from her non-wedding to Nick two years ago. She has lied again and again and caused greater hurt to more people than if she had just told the truth as soon as she knew it. In fact, if she hadn't lied to Dylan about her miscarriage, it could be argued that Sage would still be alive. Sharon made some very bad choices, though she will claim that the cursed Dr. Anderson made her do it.

I expect that, much like two years ago, Sharon will be roundly cursed by Nick, Nikki, Victor, Phyllis, and all the other detractors who flayed Sharon when she lied about Summer's paternity. They could probably flash back the same scenes and just sub Christian's name for Summer's. What else can anyone do to Sharon except scold? Nick already has full custody of Faith, and no matter how mad Nick gets at Sharon, he will never keep Faith away from Sharon permanently, though this time, even Faith might be disgusted with mommie dearest.

Dylan will definitely pack his bags and get a ticket for the next stagecoach out of Dodge, poor deluded sucker. Once, Dylan was a strong proud soldier/cop/hero/family man. Now he must be wondering what happened that made two women, each of whom he was willing to love unconditionally, treat him with such emotional shabbiness. Talk about being sucker-punched! Like somebody famous or infamous once said, "Even Superman would've broke!"

Surely this is Dylan's swan song and the last chance for Steve Burton to give an Emmy-worthy performance, though it will be hard to top the one he gave in 2014 when Dylan found out that Connor was not his son. I'm not sure how much longer the character will be on-screen, so I wish Steve Burton well in his next endeavor. Meanwhile, poor Dylan is just another deluded boob victimized by the baby daddy curse.

Billy is also a cursed baby daddy. Not only does he not know that Bella is his biological daughter, but Victoria kept him waiting for nine months to find out that he was Katie's father. Victoria said it was for the good of the child. At the time, I said it was because Victoria wanted to keep both Ben and Billy dancing to her tune, but now I'm inclined to believe that Victoria's behavior was another manifestation of the Genoa City baby daddy curse, and she just couldn't help herself.

Maybe Billy is more possessed than cursed. He seems inclined to meddle in everyone's life and cause mischief where he can. He got information out of Natalie that helped Phyllis, and he also got information about Travis that he used with Victoria. Add to that, he gave Kevin advice about Chloe. So it turns out that our Billy has been a busy, busy boy. Has Billy given up on Phyllis? Has he decided to vie for Victoria and his family again, or will Chloe blindside Billy with an offer to help re-create the re-gened Dee Dee? There are lots of ways for that to go and lots of avenues for baby daddy Billy to explore.

Personally, I liked the electricity between Phyllis and Billy, but I think the connection between Victoria and Billy is also very powerful, more so than between Travis and Victoria, at least in my humble opinion. Billy and Chloe, I'm not feeling it, but anything is possible. I'd just like to see the writers come up with something different instead of the same old, same old of yesteryear. Something, anything that's not recycled, like the Jack-Victor feud to name one, unless the writers manage to fool this jade with a clever new twist. I hope! I hope! I hope!

As mentioned above, the eternal feud between Jack and Victor is in full swing again. For a few days, I was happy to see that Jack was growing a spine and that he was taking a firm stand with Phyllis, but at the end of the week, it was easy to see that Jack is quickly reverting to old ways. Jack had the swagger for a while, but he was staggered by one look at Phyllis without her shirt. And when Jack made that pathetic, helpless bobble-head gesture -- which I have grown to hate -- I became convinced that Jack is about to be hammered and humiliated by Victor yet again. Taking poetic license with yet another famous saying: "Those who do not learn from history are cursed to repeat it." And you are cursed, Jack. You are cursed to be cannon fodder!

Jack has not learned anything, either, apparently, but at least he and Phyllis have wiped their slates clean and can move on with more plotting and scheming while working their way back to each other. At this point, other than Nikki, I don't think there are any other lady friend options for Jack except Phyllis, so if romance is the name, then Phyllis is the only game in town for Jack. Traci is on her way back home, and I expect that she will soon have the Abbotts holding hands and singing feel-good songs. Traci might even forgive Phyllis. She will certainly forgive Billy and, in her ladylike fashion, remind all the Abbotts that, as my much older, less civilized granny used to say, "You can pick your nose but you can't pick your family."

Mariah has jumped from one tense situation to another. I don't know how many of you have had a diva boss like Hilary, but I have, and I can appreciate the predicament that Mariah is in. There is nothing more annoying than being given three conflicting orders at one time, so you have exactly a zero percent chance of pleasing the diva no matter which task you choose to do first. Keeping your mouth shut is a difficult and humbling experience, but sometimes money and a job are less easily sacrificed than pride, and that old saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," seems to apply here. Bosses like Hilary, who make Genghis Khan seem like a lap dog, usually end up getting theirs. Hilary will be no exception. (Wow! This certainly seems to be my day for remembering old quotes and clichs!)

I have no doubt that Mariah is going to tell the inside story about the Sully/Christian baby swap to GC Buzz. I don't think it will make her very popular around town, but Mariah has never had many friends she could count on. I think her desire to succeed at GC Buzz will outweigh any other consideration. I'd still like to see Mariah and Natalie become besties. I don't know if Natalie was "that dumb" when she got drunk and spilled all to Billy or if it was part of Victor's plot to entice Jack into a trap. I really hope Natalie was more clever than she appeared. For a super smart hacker, she seems a very nave conspirator.

I didn't say so earlier, but I do expect Victor to win the next round of the battling billionaires. If these guys spent as much time working on business as they do trying to destroy each other, Jack and Victor could probably rule the world.

Until his stint in jail, Victor had been invincible, which was just fine with me as long as he didn't go off the deep end and start kidnapping people and replacing them with doppelgngers. That was too big a crime to let pass, but cooking the books, taking tax shelters, etc., is all considered part of the corporate scenario -- not that I approve -- but success in business, even when skating on very thin ice, is admired in capitalism, and most Americans are capitalists, myself included.

What can I say? As long as Victor and Jack continue to plot and scheme on each other, I'll be team Victor. No really good reason other than that if I had to choose one of them for my protector, I'd have far more confidence in Victor to defend the castle than I would in Jack, though I'd be mighty careful not to defy Victor. Just like learning to handle a diva boss, I think I could learn to handle a diva daddy! Abby seems to be getting pretty good at it.

Besides Traci's return to the Abbott clan, Gloria will also be jetting back to Genoa City for the Baldwin holidays, just in time to have a few (hundred) pithy words for Chloe, Kevin, and anyone who has an ear. You can bet I'll be listening to every pearl that falls from Gloria's ruby red lips! At last, and not a minute too soon, comic relief!

That's it for me. See all you Soapaholics in two weeks at the Underground. Our guest speaker will be noted historian I.B. Reechen quoting from his recently published book, The Baby Daddy Curse: Separating Truth from Fiction. Questions, answers, and book signing to follow.

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