Let them eat cake

Theresa may not have gotten her just ''desserts'' yet, but Leo knew enough to not let a good cake go to waste. From the sweet to the bitter to the bittersweet in between, let's break down all the tastiness in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Okay, friends. I'm really struggling. I'm trying to figure out how to simultaneously put my fingers in my ears and cover my eyes while loudly chanting, "La la la la la la la la...!"

Yep. I'm in total denial about Nicole and Eric going to Paris. I'm not ready to say goodbye. Luckily, we have another day with them, and that day is next week, so I get to live in denial over the weekend. There's that silver lining nugget.

In the meantime, if Maggie is offering housing, I'll gladly accept, too. With Theresa turning herself in and Alex's ego deflated about a billion times, there's plenty of room, even with Holly there. I also suspect there will be lemon bars a-plenty, and once the wedding cake is finished, I'll need sweet treats to get me through the heartache of those goodbyes that I'm going to live in denial of a bit longer.

One thing will forever ring true -- Justin is the best of us. His joy of getting back Alex as a son and Victor not betraying him was inspiring. He overflowed with joy, in fact. I was truly happy for him. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Wally Kurth is a phenomenal actor. I'm broke buying everything that he sells, and I don't mind one bit. The man is a national treasure.

Also wonderful was Robert Scott Wilson! Alex might be a garbage person, but Robert is very compelling in the role. He makes all those mixed (or not-so-mixed) feelings about Alex happen. His talents shouldn't be forgotten amongst Alex's terribleness. With that...

I had about zero flips to give for Alex. Oh, no! His life got downgraded from "Billionaire Bonanza!" to "Millionaire Marvelousness with a Justin windfall." The poor guy.

Alex was done dirty by Theresa. There's no doubt about that. But. Big but! Even going into this, this douche canoe wasn't much of a peach. Add on his treatment of Justin and overall idiocy to embrace any dumb idea that came his way (hello, Kristen. Hello, Theresa again and again), and it's hard to muster up anything but a "HA!" It makes it even more painful that the entire time, Alex had smart people who love him trying to warn him. Well, here's a hankie, Mr. Alex. Go call Marlena who's paid to care.

All that said, I did love Justin's reunion with Alex AND with a side of Sonny Bear! It was so nice to have him home in Salem. When can we expect another visit, good sir!? And can you please bring Will and Ari Grace!?

While Alex got Justin back as a dad, Xander learned that Titus was not his father, and Victor was. We knew this, but darn it if I wasn't moved by Paul Telfer's performance, regardless. He was incredible as Xander navigated the bombshell -- a bombshell detonated by his mother, Fiona Cook. Wait! Let's sidebar...

Fiona is kind of fabulous, isn't she!? Oh. Sure. Lady has more issues than the Spectator, but she's fascinating. I can't wait to learn more about her and her plight.

And while I hate that Brady has fallen off the wagon (more on that later), I oddly don't hate Monsieur Noir and Ms. Cook canoodling. I don't know how that works, and I want to see more before officially endorsing them, but I don't mind them so far. One thing seems for sure, and that is I highly doubt Fiona would fret about Special K. I think they'd have one hell of a diva-off. Ms. Cook sees your red dress, Kristen, and raises you a gold one. Boom. But back to Xander...

He's a mess. A lucky mess to have Sarah and Maggie on his side, but a mess, nonetheless. I absolutely loved his talk with Maggie. Suzanne Rogers was radiant. She charmingly and effortlessly navigates complex, sentimental material like no other, but I also loved that she got to break out Maggie's feisty side with Theresa later.

You know. That scene that ended with Theresa asking Maggie to drive her to the police station so she could turn herself in. It'll be interesting to see if that happens, or if she'll get into the backseat behind Maggie as Jeannie T and come out the back passenger side as Gwen by the time they park. It's Salem. Anything's possible.

What's not possible is me having much sympathy for a lot of the characters involved. The bombshell was delicious drama and amazingly well acted by all involved, but between Alex's Alex-ness, Theresa's Theresa-ness, and Brady believing her rejection was truly the worst thing to ever happen to him (ever!), I looped back to what I originally thought would happen when this saga ended -- I felt bad for Justin, and then felt happy for him. Everything else was sort of filler with a wig.

The most interesting part going forward will be how Xander is reshaped now that he knows he's Victor's son. This was really the payoff the entire time. Also, putting him in a scene with E.J. so soon after was telling. Are the hot-tempered DiMera heir and the newfound Kiriakis titan on a collision course? No offense to Bo or Philip, but I think Elvis has finally met his Machiavellian match!

Finally, who gets Alex's ponies now that he's just a measly millionaire again? Or didn't that new stable get built? I need answers. Furthermore, I think sitting with Alex as he returns all the treasures and bling from his billion-dollar spending spree would be therapeutic for me. He may not know who he is anymore, but returning that watch is going to sting -- and I'm going to snicker while munching on some cake. Thanks, Leo. I will take a piece.

LOOSE ENDS:

Eric is a class act. Really. When E.J. started with, "Does Holly know that you killed her father?" I would have immediately fired back with, "Does Johnny know how he was conceived?"

Again, Eric is classier than I would have been. E.J. hit a low with that one. Holly doesn't deserve to have her world crushed any further. E.J. crushed his own life because of his own dastardly deeds. Take it down a notch and learn from your mistakes, Eej.

Another sidebar, but how doesn't Holly know by now? You'd think she'd have looked it up or heard the story. Salem secrets aren't kept that well, especially not for 17 years (that's thirteen plus four). Also, how doesn't Johnny know about his conception, either? But I digress...

This is one of those few times you'll ever hear me say this, but we need Susan Banks in town to give E.J. a talkin' to. Elvis J. responds to her. She humanizes him. Humanizes-ish him. E.J. is still going to E.J. at the end of the day.

I'm almost certain that Gabi knows about Stefan and Ava. Cherie Jimenez is remarkably threading that needle of "Does she know? Maybe not. No, no, she must know! Right!?" I'm eager to find out, but one thing is for sure. We've been reminded that Gabi is always full of secrets and will unleash them in spectacular fashion on her own timeline.

Also, I'm still such a sucker for Rafe and Gabi moments, even when one of them is in a coma. Cherie is delightful. She managed to give me those same old sweet Hernandez sibling vibes we've grown to know since Gabi arrived in 2009.

Elia Cantu's performance when Jada pleaded with Rafe to wake up and expressed her happiness with their life together totally broke my heart. She is so spectacular. She totally made me root for Team "Jafe!" or is it "Rada!?" Either way, I'm in.

For the sake of all our collective sanities, I'm grateful that Stephanie and Jada, as well as Kayla and Marlena, discussed that it's very, very likely that Bobby is pretending to be Everett. The dude is basically holding a neon sign reading, "NOT Bobby!" with the winking emoji. If they hadn't suspected him, I'd have worried (more).

Oh, Gabs! I was on my feet cheering when she said to Connie, "This is getting creepy...I do not have the time for a stalker in my life." Yes. Love it! Shut her down. You know crazy. End this. Slay, Queen G! And then she went and hired her. Uff da!

I have a lot of grace for the writers right now. They're trying to redirect storylines that have been handed back to them. That said, I'm ready for Connie to head to Super-Max. Bye, Felicia. Err. Connie!

HOT

If the cast of DAYS was competing at the Olympics last week, they all won gold! It was truly an impressive showing of talent. From the wedding fallout to Eric vs. E.J. and everything in between, the cast truly shined. As Stefano would state while raising a glass of Limoncello, "salut!"

NOT

I love it when Eric Martsolf gets meaty material to play with, but Brady relapsing isn't a storyline I'm ready to belly up to. One, this all happened because of Theresa!? The man has dealt with Kristen for years and had his daughter taken away. He dealt with Tate's trials and tribulations because of Holly's overdose and E.J.'s E.J.-ness. I can't believe that none of that did it, but Theresa did.

Two, did he really jump from the wagon in the middle of the Brady Pub!? Loved ones are always lurking there. The family is his namesake. They know him. They love him. They wouldn't let him drink the night away. Plus, Paul knew that Brady was tempted. There's no way he wouldn't have sent a message to Marlena or Eric, especially Eric. The entire thing just seems a cheap grab at the serious disease he has.

LINE OF THE WEEK

"Now it's a Salem wedding!" Leo

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK

Maggie: "Hardly the wedding you were expecting."

Sarah: "I've had worse."

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Will Eric and Nicole need to buy Baby Jude a seat on the airplane, or will they just turn him into a blanket again until they touch down in ol' Paree? I suspect Eric is distantly related to Tabitha Lenox, and he can turn Jude into a blanket, quilt, comforter, or invisible at will. That must save them a bundle on diapers, though.

A night with Kayla, popcorn, and ice cream!? Um, yes, please! Where do I sign up? I'll even bring some lemon bars, since I'll be staying with Maggie.

Tate can zip it with that boredom talk. I'll gladly take some alone time over the summer on an island. You know Julie has that cabin fully stocked. Smith Island is a hotbed for all the dramas, but the downtime in between would be worth it.

Remember when Brady was apartment hunting and zipping up his big boy pants? Yep. Me, too. Can we get back to that, please and thank you kindly.

Big Mama is 93! That's amazing. She needs to relocate to Salem and live in the same place as John's dad, Timothy, so we can visit both treasures at once.

Remington Hoffman is hilarious. Li would have been a great sidekick for Vivian. Something tells me they'd have had hysterical banter.

Jada's "Salem P.D." T-shirt was fun. I want one! Though I feel like on the back, it states, "Not Arresting Salem's Scoundrels since 1965."

Kate's mention that one of the actresses on Body & Soul was married to a makeup artist and didn't want to relocate was cute.

From Fiona's gold dress to Stephanie and Gabi's summery ones, fashion was so on point last week! Though Maggie's dress on Friday might have stolen the show. Suzanne Rogers looked stunning. As always, really.

Having Sonny, Paul, and Andrew back made my heart swell three sizes. Welcome home, gang. Please stay!

Um, Doc Sweetness! Of course, Paulina doesn't want to diet, exercise, or take more pills. Not when she can pick up a Oujia board and contact Lexie's spirit to miracle all her ailments away.

PARTING THOUGHTS

So, friends and fellow fans, that's it for July 29. As Laurisa is overseeing the move of the DAYS Two Scoops offices into the Kiriakis mansion -- and wouldn't you know it? The space is right by the pool! -- I'll be back next week to cover the juicy drama and *gulp* say farewell to our friends. I'm hoping the Spice Girls got all my messages and will perform "Goodbye" for Nicole, Eric, and Baby Blanket Jude. As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.