Stop right now, thank you very much

Some Salemites make you wonder, "What were they thinking!?" Will May Sweeps put a stop to some of Salem's subpar storylines and get our fair Salemites back in shape for the summer? From a redhead who caught a case of the crazies to being caught red-handed and lackluster lying, let's catch up in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Oh, Maggie. You made me side with Alex over you. That's a full-stop Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!"

Alex exclaimed, "What the hell is Maggie thinking!?" Sit down, everyone. I agree with him. Soap Gods help me, I agree with him. Please, though, If I repeatedly start to take off my glasses and put them back on, stage an intervention. I can be lured with pub fries or lulled to sleep by a Tripp and Wendy story. It'll be easy to capture and reprogram me.

Also, when Alex -- ALEX! -- has a valid point and shows genuine concern, listen to the fool. If that old saying about a broken clock being right twice a day is true, then one and two. He made two right calls last week, but that's where the buck stopped with him. The rest of his calls were more like wrong numbers, but we'll get to that later.

If you don't want to listen to Alex, listen to John, Steve, Sarah, Xander, Maggie's figurine collection, Julie's spilled white wine, and, well, the universe that's simply screaming, "Maggie, No!" I love how much her loved ones love her. Sarah and Xander were especially riled up. So, I guess she'll at least have an entire Greek chorus soon crooning in unison, "We love you, but we told you so." Singing that refrain with love, of course.

To Maggie's credit, she's taking some smart steps like getting the prenup signed. That's like one sliding on their arm floaties after all the lifeboats left the Titanic. But it's a step. Though she kind of stumbled when she let Konstantin know where she put it. He's going to get into that safe faster than Sloan can make up a flimsy excuse, but, like Alex, more on that later.

Look, we all love Maggie. She's the best and comes with a side of lemon bars, but her compassion is kicking her hourglass. We know she's smart. We know she thinks she's doing the right thing. Still, she's smart enough to know Konstantin has done dirty things before, so why is she ignoring his shady now!? Right. She feels (and read his next part in your best Jennifer Coolidge voice) "real bad."

If Mags was smart, she'd get Konstancreep a work visa and make him head chef at the Titan cafeteria. He has a background as a restaurateur, and this works best for everyone when you consider how often we see "Cook." That's a big "never," and that's fine by me. Feel free to cosign that campaign.

John and Steve are still having Big K problems, too. Konstantin is trying to come between them. This could be their best move yet. Fake a fallout and let him think he's won. That's what happened, right? I feel like Steve and John have endured far greater fallings-out like, say, nearly blinding Steve. So, this Greek tragedy can't compete for the long haul. Be smarter than a scammer, Black Patch.

And to think, the storyline that started shortly after Victor's death came with a cameo of Vivian and promises of worldwide adventures. There were no wonky will re-writes. There were no Theresa wigs. There were no, how do you put it, ah, yes, Konstantins. Let's hope that May Sweeps brings an end to this storyline that mimics the beginning. That is compelling, promising, and with a splash of Vivian!

LOOSE ENDS:

Meanwhile, if Maggie's crew is crooning, "We told you so!" then Sloan's singing Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me." Girlfriend made one flimsy excuse after another when Eric confronted her. Leo joined in for the equivalent of a drunken duet. In their heads, they were rock stars at a sold-out stadium. In reality, they were the last two staggering, slurring patrons karaoke-ing "I Will Always Love You." You are not Whitney, Sloan. You are not Dolly, Lady Whistleblower. Shut it down. You can't sing.

Oh, snap! Eric committed a federal offense by opening Sloan's mail! Wait. Can husbands and wives legally open each other's mail? I don't think so, based on Sloan's faux anger. Anyway...

Even though Eric didn't put her excuses on the spreadsheet, he still knew they added up to baloney. He even bellowed, "That's enough!" Eric's real serious, y'all. But will he ultimately believe Sloan and Leo's story, or will he continue to calculate the shadiness? Sometimes he's like Maggie, even if the sad story has a dented package and is in the bargain bin for only a buck, they can't help but buy it.

Okay. So, Catharina's mother is dead. But is she "dead dead" or "Salem dead"? I still think she'll turn up sooner rather than later. Maybe as a surprise guest at Maggie and Konstantin's wedding sham, please and thank you. Black Patch (or Theresa) needs to make this happen.

Speaking of "dead dead" versus "Salen dead," Li's murder is back in play. Special K is on the case. Kristen tried to get info out of Wendy and even brought up all the death and gore her apartment has seen. I'm on Team Kristen here. I would not want to live in that place. I don't care how good the rent may be, but I digress.

I'm not convinced Li is dead, and I'm curious if Wendy and Tripp will discover him in Hong Kong.

Oh, yeah. Wendy and Tripp are Hong Kong bound for a bit. I adore both actors so much, but character wise, this might be best for a beat or two. Wendy and Tripp have become a little...well...what's the delicate word for "boring"? In real life or end game on a show, you want the nice person to end up with another nice person, but "nice" isn't always thrilling, "Must-See Streaming." I wish them a safe return soon with a stellar storyline!

Oh, and maybe "Trendy" can do some good on the plane. If anyone has trouble sleeping on the long flight, they can share their story. Or take them on a dream vacation. Bon voyage, kids.

Allegedly, Allie is full of "immense joy" for Johnny and Chanel. Is she? IS she!? I hope she's grown while in New Zealand, but having faith in Allie is like giving Hope a sleeping pill and some dark lipstick. Not the best idea, based on experience.

Chanel being sick, likely caused by "the Incredible Paulina!?" To quote the Spice Girls, "Stop right now, thank you very much." I hope she was just tired from questioning Allie's sincerity and not from undetected radiation poisoning.

Paulina got scolded by Kayla and Abe last week. You know you've done something dumb when two of the towns biggest Care Bears take you to task. But let's not downplay her reckless actions. Kayla, Abe, and just about everyone else has the right to be concerned and irritated. Auntie P's heart was in the right place, but from her head to her radiation, everything else was not. And while she might have "saved Chanel," Chanel might not be safe.

Mayor Paulina and D.A. DiMera had a catty little kerfuffle! Nicole also brought up once being E.J.'s campaign manager. Are we heading for a mayoral race showdown? I feel Abe's already armed with a "Your sister Lexie would be so disappointed in you, Elvis" speech just in case.

The DiMera vs. Price-Carver semi-sequel race would certainly be more "extra" than the first time around. While Eej will likely play as pompously dirty as ever, Paulina isn't Abe. Oh, her husband will encourage her to take the high road, but she'll likely plow through any street to get what she wants with all the subtlety she's known for. You know. Again.

The journalism major in me loves that the Spectator is the keystone to a storyline. Why didn't Nicole bring up her reporter past when speaking with Chad? I don't know, but she got the job, anyway! Sure. Sure. Eric will likely be working there, too. With Lady Whistleblower around, it brings all the drama into one arena, but like Icona Pop sang, "I don't care, I love it."

Okay, just because Dimitri might be released from super-max prison, does that mean Salemites will be able to see him? Leo and Dimitri brought out the best of the worst in each other. I don't mind a reunion, but something tells me I'm getting my hopes up.

While Ava cracked me up with, "Here it comes," when Kayla confronted her, I loved fired-up Sweetness. Watching Tamara Braun and Mary Beth Evans will never not be incredible. They're easily two of the best in the entertainment business.

This backup hard drive has got to have something juicier on it than old Bella files, right? It was almost as if there was a neon sign stating, "Remember This!" What could it contain? John's memories? Victor's real will? I'm curious.

Everett's becoming the latest Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of Salem. He even snickered as he stated something about, "living two separate lives" as an article idea. Let's just hope that one of his identities doesn't involve a dark wig, or Stefan is gonna mack on him so hard, which will make Stephanie super sad. It is all about her, after all.

HOTThere were so many "HOT" hits last week that I could hardly pick one, so let's celebrate several highlights...

One, Kate said to Ho-Hum, "No. No. You don't understand. You see, you almost got my son killed. You got him pulled into all of this, and then you abandoned him. So, if you want intel, I suggest you do a deep dive on me and what I've been capable of, especially when it comes to protecting my children." Boom. THERE she is! I love it so much when this side of Kate comes out to play. Destroy him, Ms. Roberts. We will all have your back as an alibi. You've been warned, Harris.

Two, Brady and Nicole are besties once more! While this may not last forever because of Holly and Tater's tryst, I'll enjoy the peace while I can. This is by far the best version of their characters together. I've always loved their friendship and hated it when it got ruined years ago and barely acknowledged recently. For them to take the time to not only acknowledge it, but to confirm it'll endure, well, that was "HOT!"

Three -- and this one is a spoiler, so like Harris, be warned -- our Fancy Face is coming home! I hoped this would happen but braced myself should it not, but it is, so I'm going to do a little Happy Dance, well, maybe a Bittersweet Shuffle and celebrate. You can read all about it by clicking here!

NOTThank the Soap Gods the Kiriakis, Black, and DiMera families are all rich. RACH3L will need the best therapy money can buy once she sees Special K and A-Hole together post-coitus. Then again, she's likely AI, so maybe she can just reset herself and won't remember a thing. Either way, get that kid all the cookies she wants. She'll deserve them after seeing that much stupid in action, or, well, post-action.

Ugh, Kristen. Just, "Ugh." And Alex is just as bad for going along with this plan. Oh, the "Stupid is as stupid does" Gump of it all. Earlier, I admitted that I had to agree with Alex when he said, "What the hell is Maggie thinking!?" and now there's another Alex-induced first: I feel bad for RACH3L. This guy owes me big time.

LINE OF THE WEEK"Well. This was fun." E.J. seconds after greeting Sloan.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I love that Roman's "Help Wanted" sign had a little smiley face on it. I can imagine the proud look on his face when he added that. Never change, Ro.

On topic, who will end up with that job at the pub? Ava needs one. Johnny could use one. Eric needs another one to supplement his income.

Paulina was right. That press conference was a Dumpster fire. I want a re-do for Tater Tot's sake.

Salem seems so full of early birds. On Tuesday, all these scenes happened before school and work. High school start times are generally early. I would need to be filled in later, as I'd be hitting snooze until the last minute.

I wonder if E.J. has been shopping with Maggie. I mean, I'm sure Johnny and Chanel loved their porcelain sculpture. For sure. Though he should just lead with the check and all those zeros next time. Right. It was the thought that counts.

Roman updated Sami on Johnny's condition and sent kisses to Sydney. I have so many questions. How is Scami Gene? How old is Syd these days? When will we see them again!?

Ava's burn toward Jada about the burner was funny mostly because I forgot for a second that Harris has Rafe's old storyline.

Kayla's blouse and blazer combo on Monday was all shades of amazing.

I loved Paulina reminiscing about Blockbuster! I miss going to video stores. She nailed it, too. You might not get what you want, but you'll enjoy the experience, nonetheless. Just like some storylines on DAYS, now that I think of it.

Allie's dating a blond surfer. Sans the hair color, I'm a puka shell necklace away from having a Dr. Dude flashback. Did Daniel or, worse, "Summer the Bummer" have a kid we don't know about, and could they be Allie's new beau!?

Chanel's support of Johnny was charming. She was absolutely not afraid to speak her mind to E.J., and I loved every flipping second of that scene. As long as she stays healthy, I think the Dupree-DiMeras will be fine for the long haul.

Oh, Ellie can arrange flowers. That's nice, Maggie. I need to know more about this lady. Until proven otherwise, she's sus. Is she working for Konstantin? Another rival? I need to know more about her, or at least what Henderson thinks of her. Maggie's opinion is also a bit sus at the moment.

I never noticed the "C. Murphy" on that sign at the Brady Pub before. It was on Wednesday's episode when Tripp was talking to Stephanie. I might be remembering Colin Murphy with rose-colored glasses, but I'll take him over many of the recent shady Salemites du jour.

I'll also take crabcakes, please and thank you.

I hope that Sami's reunited with Brandon while off on her walkabout. That combined with Jude's middle name being in honor of her, well, that'll make Nicole's day when she finds out the truth about the baby.

I don't know Sophia well yet, but she has good taste in breakfast.

Roman and Kayla made me happy. I love their heart-to-heart over Ma's clam chowder. I think they should meet up with Kimberly, Frankie, and Max to go see Bo.

I suspect that Johnny and Chanel will end up in Tripp and Wendy's apartment now that they're off to Hong Kong.

When Alex stated, "I read a business book recently," I cracked up. Okay, pal. Sure, you did. We know you're totes smart enough to read about that thing you already do. I've never worried about my Kiriakis shares less.

I have a feeling when we finally see Sydney again, she's simply going to shrug and say, "What? I've been down in the streaming room." And then she'll eat a piece of popcorn that was stuck to her sweater and casually walk away.

When Kristen listed RACH3L's friends, "Lily, Pepper, and Wyatt," my first thought was that sounds like the most Emo-est of Emo indie band names. Then I was like, wait! She has friends!?

Was DAYS being meta when Brady told NuTater Tot, "You know, I didn't start drinking coffee until I was 19. 20." That line just landed differently post-recast. Our Little Spudward is more like Sir Fully Grown Potato now.

PARTING THOUGHTS

So, friends and fellow fans, that's it for April 29. May Sweeps starts this week! I'm so excited to see some of these Salemites smarten up and secrets exposed. Laurisa will be back with all the bombshells and spreadsheets in the next DAYS Two Scoops. As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."

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