Insane in the membrane?

Crazy or not, Claire Bear wants to bid buh-bye to Bayview and say, ''Hello, Sweet Salem!'' Has the incinerating Ciara urge burnt out of Shawn and Belle's little bundle of attempted murder, or is she ready to flick her Bic again? Plus, Titan turmoil and wedding madness, and Gabi might have just won a free car! Let's get loco in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Scoops as a fantastic escape from reality. A chance to talk about a great show with great people. That will still be done below, but I can't continue into a lighthearted column without addressing my heavy heart first.

I believe that Black Lives Matter, and I will continue to do my part to show that I am listening, that I am supporting, and that I will do whatever I can to help. I hope that everyone can come together to create a world where people of color can walk down the street with the sense of inner peace they deserve. I actually believe this can be achieved if we work together.

If you need relevant inspiration, look no further than the cast and crew of Days of our Lives, who have been championing the cause. On- and off-screen, they touch lives. I'm proud to stand beside them.

And now, on to our regularly scheduled Two Scoops...

Okay, DAYS. You win! After watching the summer promo, I was hyped to slather on some sunscreen and settle into Salem while sipping on something cool and refreshing. Well, I barely had time to prepare my cocktail when the first summery surprise struck -- Olivia Rose Keegan is back as Claire! Yes, please. She's such a phenomenal actress. I'm eager to see what she does with the role this time. You know, someone should nominate her for an Emmy or something. Oh, wait. They did! Congrats again, Olivia!

So, Claire! It seems that she's keeping her sanity, or lack thereof, close to the cuff. It's extremely enigmatic if she's sincerely sane again or cunningly camouflaging her psycho pyro penchant. At this point, it's a big old, "Hmm!?" And I can't wait to see what happens next with Little Arson Kill-My-Auntie.

Though if we're looking at the facts, Claire Bear already has allies on her side. John believes his granddaughter is back to being his old buddy. Marlena was happy about her progress, too, and senses she's ready for a supervised release. That's what John and Marlena think. Super-duper ISA sleuth Agent John "Man of Action" Black and superty-duperty shrink Dr. Mar Mar Evans think that. I'll repeat, "Hmm.."

Yep, yep. John and Marlena. That's what they think. Multiple time mind-erased pawn, once RoboJohn, twice in-the-past-few-months abductee, and recent head injury patient John "My Memories Were Once on a Disk" Black and career captive and recently mind-bent Marlena "Queen of the Night" Evans-Black believe that. You know, the guy who was living with "Hope" for over a year and didn't realize that she was Princess Gina, and the woman who threw more shade at her than an awning even though they're supposed to be good friends. Yep. Those two.

Sooooooo, you know, if Claire causes a bonfire of epic proportions, just remember, John and Marlena agree she's sane enough to come home. Conversely, if you need me, I'll be setting up a fire insurance kiosk in Horton Town Square. Move over, Fran and FroYo Jerk-Face, there's a new mean manager in town.

Still, Claire has her skeptics, too. First there are Ben and Ciara, for obvious reasons. To be fair, I did chuckle at Ben's little joke about wanting to be the only cuckoo somebody in Ciara's life, but, more so, I loved that Ciara wants the "Old Claire" back and that she acknowledged how many times at-the-time bestie Claire went to bat for her. She did. Sane Claire Bear was the best of the besties. I want her back, too, Ciara. Anything less than the Claire who's willing to wrangle up a rapist or spend the night in jail because she stood with friends would have me worried, too.

Bayview buddy Gwen also senses Claire might not be on the up and up, especially since, you know, she stole CIN's "Save the Date!" announcement and hopes to be a bridesmaid if not the maid of honor. Claire also declared that she'll never go back to the sanitarium, but she didn't exactly say she wouldn't dabble in crazy again. So, again, close to the cuff.

Meanwhile, Gabi's been kidnapped (you know, again) by the mobsters that Jake owes something to, but only his missing ex-girlfriend knows where "it" is, and that missing ex is none other than Gwen! You know, Claire's cracked-up but saucy Posh Spice-like friend from Bayview. Boom! I will say that if this missing mob item turns out to be an elephant statue, I'm sending this storyline straight to the Alex North Memorial Awards, but I believe Ron is much, much, much better than that. So, whew! Any guesses what it is, though? Maybe something miraculous that Dr. Rolf whipped up for the mob boss man or woman. The deed to the Salem Inn? The original pub chowder recipe? Maybe the Rosario jewels? What do you think!?

Though Jake should thank his lucky stars for Ben...bringing Ciara into his life. Mr. Weston said it best, "If Ciara says we're in, we're in." Jake isn't as familiar with Ciara's ass-kicking rsum as we are, but I'm certain Ciara will fix things. Ben is living proof. Though Ben and Ciara really could call Hope and Steve in, too. She's not on the force and has proven to be a force to be reckoned with -- take that, Mr. Bomb! And Steve will be awesome again once he sobers up. Yep. They're a pretty badass duo. Let's make the call, CIN!

LOOSE ENDS: Jack and Jen are so made of win! Sure, I want to see them in a juicy front-and-center storyline soon, but in the meantime, I'm still loving their tea-spilling sessions. They even make the rounds to talk to everyone and then regroup to gossip. Love! They're like Doug and Julie 2.0. The looks they give each other are also priceless, and they just have such a natural ease between them that resonates with love and respect.

She said, "Yes!" She said, "Yes!" Kayla is sporting a mighty fine rock and is set to be the future Doctor Mrs. Justin Kiriakis. Oh, boy. I love both Justin and Kayla. I do. There's that. So, here's an update for the four Salem weddings...

I will certainly get a gift for Eric and Nicole, and it will certainly involve a '90s mixtape and some Rollerblades. I'm dusting off the present I bought for Eli and Lani's first wedding. It's still sentimental and useful. "Elani" will love it! I already have Ciara and Ben's on my desk. But Justin and Kayla? Umm. I might wait until after their honeymoon to drop a little something-something off to the happy couple that I am totally sure will make it down the aisle. Okay, she'll probably make it down the aisle, but will they make it back up it together as man and wife? Will they? Will they? I'm betting a one-eyed man and some supercoupledom they won't. Any other betters?

Plus, one does not need to be Ms. Celeste Perrault, darling, to predict that Steve's "I do love Kayla, but I won't tell her because I do love her" speech is going to be flashbacked a lot until this is all resolved. And said speech will play a part in a non-Jayla wedding. Again, just a bet.

The Wilson family is about to be a quartet! They're both officially baby onboard and ready to procreate. This makes me happy. It cements how far they've grown as individuals and as a couple. Their chat is proof of that, though I'm eager to see where this bouncing baby Wilson will come from. It's Salem. Something says it won't be non-scandalous and soapy.

Oh, Rafe not locking his kitchen door seems like major foreshadowing to me. Like loads of foreshadowing. Buckets and loads. A lot. And, really, you'd think, given the recent David abduction, FBI agent turned Detective turned Commissioner Hernandez would have that place secured like Fort Knox. You'd think.

Also, Rafe vs. Zoey is on! She's still suing him for custody of David. Lady, please. Give it up. Sure, she made some valid points to him and Hope later, but, Rafe must keep David. He must, I tell you. I'll gladly testify, too. I've been Two Scooping the guy for over a decade, and, while we haven't always seen eye to eye, I can attest that Rafe is a great father, and Zoey will someday be remembered as, "Oh! You know. What's her name? Orpheus' daughter!" So, sure, Zoey, bring it. I'm looking forward to this courtroom battle or, well, most likely heated recaps of what happened in court in the hallway right outside after.

Zoey had a dispute with daddy, too. At the end of the day, they can both rot in jail, but I did love Zoey's sass as she stood up to Old Orph. From her "I used to be scared of you" speech to calling him an inept criminal, I'll throw her a high-five and some respect. Still, I wonder who her baby's daddy is. Peter Blake!? Maybe Jake, or perhaps one of the brainwashed Salemites, and they don't remember her. Though Will was just talking about having another kid, and, as E.J., Susan wanted him to be straight, so, will this be how Wilson gets a baby?

In other epic battle news, Brady pretty much shot Xander through the heart by spilling the embryo beans to Sarah. Ouch. Xander went down, but he's never out for long, so, once Xanimal's done licking his wounds, I'm sure he'll come up with a new tactic to tick off Sarah, who totally doesn't still love him. Sure. I get her anger, but couples have bounced back from worse. Look at E.J. and Sami. Granted, she's basically his caregiver, and he has a giant marshmallow on his head, but the love is still there.

Brady is also determined to take Titan down while Ciara wants it to prosper. While she lacks experience, she may gain an ally, as Nicole isn't exactly pleased as punch with Brady at the moment. Plus, from John to Ciara to Eric and Nicole, they sense something is a little suspect with Brady's behavior. Oh, I don't blame him for being angry. He has the right to Hulk-out and smash whatever he feels like right now, but I kind of want to see this war, nonetheless. It's very justified revenge vs. do you rip apart the foundation that feeds the entire family for revenge?

Plus, the sides aligning are already fascinating me, there's one confirmed return to Salem via the "summer promo" who's surely going to suit up for this fight, and I'm crossing every digit I can that Ciara phones her sister, Chelsea, and that spitfire will join her cause. Please, oh, please, make that happen, Mr. Ron!

HOT Olivia. Rose. Keegan. Is. Back! That's like a basket full of "Yes, Pleases!" and a ton of "Woots!" Welcome back, Ms. Daytime Emmy Nominee! Cue the happy dance.

NOT Seriously!? Commissioner Rafael Alejandro Hernandez, lock your damn doors! Eres demasiado listo para actuar tan tonto. Seriamente.

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK Steve (to Jack): "How does Jennifer deal with you, anyways?" and "You know what? You are weird and annoying, but you're not a bad brother."

OH SNAP! LINE OF THE WEEK Zoey (to Orpheus): "You know, I used to be scared of you because I thought you were so powerful. Now, I'm scared because you are so damn stupid, and that makes you really dangerous."

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK Abe: "With all due respect, Julie, you don't have the best track record when it comes to weddings." Julie: "Who does? This is Salem!"

RANDOM THOUGHTS I'm not entirely certain Kayla wasn't wearing a red pajama top as a blouse, but, either way, her top looked very comfy. Though, if she comes bearing pies, she can wear whatever she wants!

Sarah 2.0 is pretty wicked. I'm enjoying her, and, really, she deserves her mad as hell and not going to take it moment with Victor. You go, Sarah. You go!

It's still odd to see Jack and Jennifer in the DiMera mansion.

Speaking of Jack, I loved everything about his scenes with Steve! They were as sincerely heartwarming as they were a hoot. I only wish the Johnson brothers had their sister around. Boo.

Will and Sonny spoke of this Patrick from the gym and his partner, Damian. Did Mr. Lockhart finally get out of jail, and does he have something to share with the class? Interesting, but probably not the same Patrick. Dang.

I lost it when Marlena dropped the sassy bomb on Victor and declared, "You don't have high blood pressure."

Claire's "That's like ten percent of my life" line was both funny and sad.

I don't care. I love Maggie and Xander scenes. All of them. Though, now that Maggie's home, shouldn't we get a "Magic" scene soon?

Ha! Will pushing Victor in his wheelchair was everything.

Jennifer might want to proceed with caution in throwing Kayla a bridal shower against her will. I love the idea and Jennifer's moxie, but has she seen how much of a grouch Dr. Sweetness has been lately? Just saying.

It's official! With this umpteenth kidnapping, Gabi becomes an Inner Circle Member of the Salem Abductee Party, or SAP. For this, umm, honor, she'll get a free GPS tracking bracelet, a lifetime supply of easily concealable snacks such as a leather jacket made from granola with hydration packs that look like shoulder pads, and a pink Mary Kay-like car to make her easy to spot. Congrats, Gabi!

Oh, and, Doc, I glimpsed the draft of Gabi's acceptance speech to SAP. Heads up. It starts with: [in a Randy "Macho Man" Savage-like voice scream]: "Marlena. I'm coming for you, oooooh yeeeah!"

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for June 8! Stay healthy, stay helpful, and stay awesome. The marvelous Laurisa will be back next week. As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."

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