Who's afraid of a Salem she-wolf in disguise?

While Tony and Anna had us howling with laughter, Kristen proved she's a she-wolf in disguise, after all, as she went a little stabby on Victor. Justified revenge or just the old Kristen coming out to play during a full moon? Plus, let's go over the moon gushing about the return of one of daytimes brightest! Though, let's try to avoid lycanthropy as we discuss all things DAYS in this week's Two Scoops, ahoo!

Oh, DAYS! You easily remind me time and again why I've been tuning in my entire life. Last week was an interesting, trippy little ride, and I'm not even talking about Abigail's mind melting down. You know. Again. A lot went on, but I'd be remiss to not talk about that one big burning question first...

You know the one. It's been dangling from the precipice since Friday. That is, did Ciara really park her motorcycle in the middle of the damn sidewalk outside of the pub!? I know it's a family business and she's eager to get back to that comfy bed at the Salem Inn with Ben, but let's cross "parking lot attendant" off the list of jobs she should be searching for. Entitlement is never a desirable quality, Ms. Brady, but I love you, anyway. And anyways, we have more piercing issues to talk about, so let's start running through them.

First up, there's Kristen. I wouldn't say she's a cut above the rest, but, any way you slice it, nobody can say that Kristen didn't take a stab at doing the right thing there for a while. Sorry. If you don't have anything knife to say, don't say anything at all. Whoops. Nice. Not knife. Don't murder me while I'm having a Scotch, please, Ms. DiMera.

So, I guess Kristen knifing Victor really proves she has changed. Before, she wouldn't kill anyone herself. She would command a henchman or coconspirators to do so. Now, she will. That's, uh, change. Though Moira Rose might say, "What you did was impulsive, capricious, and melodramatic, but it was also wrong." There's that.

I ultimately look at it this way -- in this case, neither the knifer nor the knifee is a saint. They're actually both kind of the worst (in the best worst way possible, usually). They give, and they get. It's how being a baddie works. Kristen got then gave while Victor gave then got this time. Next time, it will be the other way around again. Baddies are gonna be bad.

My biggest concern is that mean caf manager Fran's cousin, Stan, who is a sculptor, will go broke refunding nearly half of Salem who pitched in to resurrect the statue of "St. Kristen of DiMera, the Patron of Change." "And Christopher's Mother" was to follow "Change," but that was cut from the plaque due to spacing issues. Look, I've loved my gal Kristen since she was a simple social worker and all the way through her breakdown into a nasty piece of work, but Abigail wasn't wrong when she quipped about not sanctifying Kristen, and Xander wasn't exactly off by saying she needs to get off her high horse. Just saying.

While on the subject of things that need to be shut down along with the Kristen canonizing is wrapping Maggie in bubble wrap. So, she fell off the wagon. That's rough, but she got back on. Actually, she did so two or three times now over the years. Originally, she managed to stay on it for several decades while living in Salem, USA. That's no small feat, as the town's been known to drive people to drink (and crazy). She's a proven survivor, time and again, and is literally the definition of grace under fire. Nope. Nobody wants to see Maggie hurt, but handling her with the kids gloves on is a disservice from those who claim to love her the most. Though we finally did get to see a scene between Julie and Will. So, there's that, too.

So, yeah. Abigail hallucinated Ben with a necktie! She'd been drinking all day and fighting with Gabi, so maybe she was just dazed and confused? You're right. It was weird. Of all the things she could have imagined, why Ben? Why now? Was she drugged? If so, was it by Gabi, or is a not-so-unhypnotized-after-all Chad trying to tone down her sanity so he can complete the dastardly agenda set up for him by his microchip dad? Or is Abs simply cracking up again? There's a lot there. I'm intrigued, but, so soon after so many, many mind bent characters doing double duty, I hope it's something fresh. I'm not overly anxious to watch Abigail (or any not-themselves-right-now Salemite) getting away with murder then chalking it up to a whoopsie or microchip, especially when there's a big old baddie back in town...

Hi, Orpheus! He's a free man and ready to rumble with Salem, under the guise of playing proud grandpappy, of course. I don't doubt that he loves David, but I suspect he hates most Salemites just a little more and is brewing up something sinister. John, Marlena, Jack, Jennifer, Kayla, and, well, everyone basically believe that, too. I like it. I like it a lot. There seems to be more at stake this time around, and Orpheus is slithering in right when we need a villain the most.

LOOSE ENDS: You can tell that Sarah has never schemed before. She's terrible at it. First, she needs to shut off her phone, which can easily be traced. Two, if she must leave it on, she needs to stop answering it if she doesn't want to talk to people. Three, she needs to shut off her phone.

And Sarah should probably start telling people she's Cassie Brady. Nobody's wondered about her in years. Instead, she's using Abigail's name, which she kind of got forced into doing by Jeanne Marie le Buttinsky, but it also wouldn't have been hard for a more seasoned schemer to come up with something like, say, she's Abigail's cousin or something. I mean, sometimes Abs does have a few personalities to spare, but that's not how that works, Sarah. I get why she can't trust Xander, but she should at least listen to his plan, take some notes, then ditch him and apply it herself. Stay calm and think, Sarah. Not that I'm advocating Sarah continuing to be a kidnapper, but if she's going to do something wrong, she can at least do it in the right wrong way and not look so sloppy.

Conversely, if Sarah doesn't want Xander's special brand of help, can Mr. Cooke-Kiriakis assist Rafe? I really, really, really want Herr Hernandez to escape safely with David. Not that I want Rafe-A-Roni to leave, but I just want him to have David. They're adorbs together, and that talk that Rafe had with him was so sweet. I especially liked that he explained that all families are different and used Ari's as an example. Rafe has had his ups and downs over the years, but a constant zenith has been as a dad. Yes, I'm saying "dad." Biology aside, Rafe has loved hard every child he's cared for, and the line can start behind Johnny in his FBI jacket and Ciara to testify to him being a dad in all the ways that matter.

Though I like the idea of Old Orpheus having his children in town, it would have been a twisty twist had Zoey turned out to be a not-so-dead Emily Hudson. Sure, we'd have to figure out how Meredith and her brick fit into everything, but that would have been, well, twisted. Rafe almost married and maybe murdered (but probably not) Orpheus' daughter. Say what!? Alas, we may never know what happened to Emily, but Zoey sure seems to be making life miserable for Rafers.

Speaking of Zoey, I have a lot of questions. She's a lawyer and loves her bro, Chris. Okay. She has a "love the sinner but hate the sins" kind of relationship with Orpheus. Okay. But now those questions! Who are her kids? Do we know them yet? When did she give birth (as Mother's Day 2020 in Salem seemed like a day to do so)? Do we know her baby daddy? I suspect we've at least heard of him, or it wouldn't be a juicy storyline. Was it Stefan or some version of him? Hmm. Just "Hmm!"

Oh! And now Orpheus and Chris/Christian/the Con Artist Formerly Known as Evan are keeping a secret from Zoey. It's something "No one needs to know what we did." Again, "Hmm!" One, this has to be about her lawyering or her kids. Those are the only two factoids about Zoey we've heard about. Sure, it could be something shady Orph and Chris have done, having nothing to do with her, but I don't know. There's more there. It'll affect her. Though Christian seems to be at the shallow end of Orpheus' gene pool. I don't know if I'd trust him with a secret. I mean, he did keep his identity for just a while, but since then, he's been somewhat off the rails.

All in all, I love Orpheus' ever-growing presence in Salem. The town was in need of some new evil, and his family seems to fit the bill. There are layers of history with nearly all the vets, and his reach extends to the younger set, too. More, please.

We can all just agree that Jeanne Marie is sort of the worst, right? She's super annoying and a total buttinsky. Like, don't invite yourself into someone's home and ask them majorly intimate questions when you can't even remember their or their spouse's names, Madame Kravitz. Enfer, she didn't even notice she was talking to a completely different person and yet went on to ask about "Abigail's" marriage. Oh, no, lady. Je ne peux pas avec elle. And I know it's early, but I'm nearly ready to nominate her for this decade's "Mr. Greetings."

Not so annoying, re-bonjour, Li Shin. That's the Mister Shin's son who was last seen during Chabby Goes to Paris. It's still on the DAYS app and worth checking out. And so is Li. Hi, Li. Oh, I said that. No, you have a crush on him. Shut up. Anyway...

Li Shin said that Chad's CEO leash is short, and the board will be watching. If that means dreamy Li will be in Salem more often, I'm okay with that. Oh, Li. What was I even saying? Right. Let's get this man a room at the Salem Inn and call it a day, am I right?

Whoops. I buried the lead. Chad got the last rose from Li and was appointed the CEO over Gabi, who totally took the news well. By "well," I mean she went crazier than Kristen around a cheese knife, or "unhinged," as Julie said. There was a lot of back-and-forth bashing last week. Both teams scored some zingers, but the CEO tug of war seems like it will go on despite Chad's most recent victory. I mean, Li hung up on Chad at one point, so I don't think there's much faith there. We'll see.

Another buried lead on someone we thought was buried -- Stefan, or someone who looks exactly like him, is alive! He causally rolled out from under a car when Ben went to apply for a smoking hot grease monkey job. Well, he was working under the car. He's now a mechanic. Okay. Maybe not. I don't know. It was like a flash in the pan moment, but it all ignites to one ridiculously hot thing -- Brandon Barash is back on our screens! Whoever he ends up playing, I don't care. He's an amazing actor. I'm ready for more of his brilliance. Bring. It. Brandon.

Abe and Kate working together!? I don't know why I like this so much, but I do. Yes, please. At the very least, watching the combined brilliance of James Reynolds and Lauren Koslow will be marvelous.

Maybe Kayla could take Steve and Justin on a vacation to some quaint little hamlet like Harmony or someplace warm like Sunset Beach, where she could spend half the time with each man then determine how she feels. As it is, the three of them are making everyone in Salem feel icky. Everyone loves all three of them. Nobody wants to see any of them get hurt. Most of everybody believes said hurt soul will end up being Justin, despite his recent "for now" victory. Great performances aside and a giant "You go!" to Kayla for her rousing "You are not making decisions for my life. Go to hell!" speech, but, yeah, it, well, makes me feel icky to be around these three right now. Which means this storyline is doing what it's supposed to do. Damn you, Carlivati (and, again, I mean that in the best way possible)!

When Hope said something like, "I have not felt like me in a long time. Not my true self," my testament hands went up in the air. I will watch the hell out of Hope working through her issues if we get back Original Recipe Fancy Face. I especially like the idea of Steve and Hope helping each other. Their friendship (stress friendship) is something I've always enjoyed. I think Hope could help Steve cope, and I think Steve is Bo-like enough to assist in Hope getting her O.G. groove back. I'll set up the day drinking for these two and then cross my fingers.

HOT I needed the laughs Tony and Anna provided as they said their goodbyes. I mean, first off, that hilarious apology note that Anna sent Steve with his "Get Well Soon" flowers. THAT was so classic Anna. I cracked up. A lot. Then, along with Chad and Abigail, Tony and Anna's banter with Gabi also had me rolling. The five of them were delightfully snarky and fun. Anna especially werked the line below and she's not even wrong. She was one of the original DAYS chic glamour gals. Sorry, Gabs; point Anna. All in all, Thaao Penghlis and Leann Hunley are just too amazing for words, and I hope they bring Tony and Anna back to Salem soon!

NOT Someone hand me a hankie because Tony and Anna's departure made my brown eyes blue. I don't want them to go back to Europe. At all. I just wanted to reach through my screen and grab their ankles with sobs of "Don't go!" Boo. Well. I hope they return soon; if not, I might just have to visit them, and, since I'll be there, maybe also, you know, check out that Italian wine and French cheese that Anna was raving about. Oh, and visit Carrie and Noah, too. Of course. Hmm. Maybe I can get a ride on the DiMera Enterprises jet next time someone like, oh, I don't know, Li goes to the continent for some business. I mean whoever goes that way. I'd be fine tagging along with anyone, but if it's Li, like, whatever. That's cool.

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK Anna (to Gabi): "Oh, darling, you think I need your damn samples to be chic?" Kate (to Abe): "Well, I suppose you've never made an error in judgment, though, right? I mean, like, installing a faux princess as police commissioner for our fair city...almost letting an innocent man be executed...allow convicted felons to escape prison. I mean, honestly, Abe, Jack was doing a better job, and he had amnesia." Victor (to Kristen): "Are you done ranting, because I got things to do."

TRUE 'DAT LINE OF THE WEEK Abigail (to Chad): "Let's not sanctify Kristen."

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK Kristen: "Well, I'll tell you something, when we do find her, I promise you I will make her pay for stealing my baby. What kind of person does that?" Xander: "Get off your high horse, Kristen."

RANDOM THOUGHTS But seriously -- was that the first ever Will and Julie scene? I feel like I've never seen one before. Or at least it's been such a long while that I'm completely drawing a blank. Huh. At least we can confirm that she knows who he is.

Chad said his assistant was Roxanne. That made me think of Roxy Balsom from One Life to Live. One, that would be funny! Two, aww, One Life -- I miss you. Three, then I started to sing The Police's "Roxanne." And, yep, my neighbors still hate me.

Why do I suspect that the basis for Kayla possibly eventually maybe dumping Justin will be that he told Steve about Stefano's offenses? It sounds like an easy out to use when needed. I'll keep Sonny on standby for some day drinking with his dad.

If Ben is going to work in a garage, there's got to be a "Greased Lightning"-type number brewing, right?

Did Jeanne Marie remind anyone else of the time Sabrina Duncan (Kate Jackson) went undercover as a French woman on an episode of Charlie's Angels? If this turns out to be a crossover thingy and someone hired the Angels to get Sarah back to Salem, I'll take back every mean thing I've said about Jeanne Marie. That would be trs pique!

No. Really. Sarah. Turn off your phone.

Yay! Hope mentioned Claire Bear. I think it's time she returns, right? It's been long enough. She should be sane ten times over by now if we're basing her recovery off Salem's magical healing time scale. It only took Chad one night to be de-mind-controlled, Abigail slightly more for her D.I.D. recovery, and only a few years for Ben to become an ex-serial killer. Let's get a healthy Claire back here pronto!

Hi, Li *giggles*

My new guiltiest DAYS pleasures are the gossip sessions with Jack and Jennifer as of late. They love to spill that tea. From Steve, Kayla, and Justin's triangle to Hope's hard times and even to Orpheus, they're giving viewers the scoop and looking adorable while doing so. They should restart a talk show or at least do a podcast. Oh. The 4-1-1 with JnJ! Boom. It's writing itself.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for April 27! Since we have a few more days of the month left, I hope that everyone has participated in "Take a Friend to Salem Day!" Both Laurisa and I would love to hear what your friend thought of DAYS. With that, I hope everyone is continuing to "hang in there" like a cute little kitten clinging to a tree branch, and "That's a fact." As always, thank you for reading!

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