Is you is or is you ain't my baby? (and the fantabulous emancipation of one Hattie Adams)

It was not such a wonderful day for a wedding as Mind-Meld Marlena was torn between two lovers. Abigail wondered what's up with her hubby, Chad. Nicole's baby-swap wondering continued. And ''Wonder Woman'' Hattie's future may hold wonderous things! Let's talk about all of these wonders in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

As I was watching DAYS last week -- a little anxious and distracted, like nearly everyone at the moment, I suspect -- Justin made me feel better. It wasn't just his dreamy dimples or innate Wally Kurth warmth, either. He said of Adrienne, "[She] would want us to go on living, and loving, and finding joy wherever we can, and being good to each other."

I doubt Team Carlivati knew how meaningful those lines would be right now, but I'm sending him a cyber hug across the interwebs, nonetheless. We needed that encouragement. Thank you, Ron. With that, I hope this finds everyone feeling healthy and safe. And let's regard Justin's wisdom and find a little joy by discussing DAYS, and I think I know just the place to start.

It's a happy Hattie Adams place! I adore her. She makes me smile. We all need smiles right now. And a strong female character who realizes her self-worth is the beginning of a beautiful future. You see...

Hattie basically asked her Mr. Roman, "Is you is or is you ain't my baby?" He answered her by channeling his very best reality TV show host. That is, he kept giving her the runaround until after this commercial break. Fed up (preach, Sister Hattie), she declared she's done with him. Actually, she said, "I'm dumping your ass." Boom. It was precious. It was very Grease 2 when Dolores Rebchuck "broke up" with Michael so she could pursue Davey. Oh, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, but I digress.

I love that Hattie did this, especially when she proclaimed, "I'm fine without a guy." Yes, Hattie. Yes, you are. Sure, soaps are vehicles for supercouples, but it's refreshing to see a super single lady (or gentleman) who knows their own worth rather than feeling they're completed once in a relationship. Maybe now that Hope's been DeGina-ed, she can explore life outside of relationships and find her inner independent woman Fancy Face like our Ms. Adams, who stated she's complete without a man. Again, preach, Sister Adams -- coupledom is super, but so is feeling super fine flying solo.

For his part, Roman was a true gentleman, sans the mixed signals in the beginning (and those misleading smooches weeks ago). He had nothing but praise for Hattie. His "special woman" speech was sweet and sincere without being condescending. I do believe he was impressed by Hattie, and I think because of that, he respected her enough to encourage her to move on. Yep. We'll all miss Hattie, Mr. Roman, but I can't wait to see what she does next, as long as one of those things is visiting Salem often. And an Internet cooking show and advice blog. Those, too. They would be amazing. I am certain of that.

And from certainty to, well, let's say, "uncertainty," we travel to Maison Blanche Two: The Blanchening. Or is it The Squeakquel? Oh, Attack of the Clones. Yep. I think that works best. Anyway...

Look, Marlena must be faking this, right? Like, right? She has to be. She was possessed by the devil, so a microchip lite can't keep her down. Though Stefano messing with Mar originally led to her being possessed, so are we looking at a sequel of that, too? Hmm.

So, Stefano wanted to know if Marlena was his or if her heart belonged to John. I would say she gave him a definite, "Yes!" but Mind-Controlled Chad married Stefano to Marlena (who's really Steve and Mind-Meld Mar) in front of held-hostage family members, so, was there anything real there? Like, did Chad even get ordained online? Right. That's probably not the biggest takeaway there. It was, well, an uncomfortable mess.

The one "real" thing I have the biggest problem with is that's really Marlena's body under all that mind-melding madness. She is not of sound mind. She cannot consent. Shut. It. Down. It's, well, uncomfortable and messy, and I don't like it one microchip.

Oh, and for the love of all things holy in Soap Land, please say that Dr. Rolf didn't give Marlena the same fertility treatments that he gave to Kristen. I don't have the energy for a Fauxnix/Mind-Meld Mar baby in my life, nor can I trust Rafe's recommendations for nannies anymore. Plus, we still might have an Adventures of Young Marlena/Alex North hybrid out there somewhere. Again, shut it down. Shut it all down.

The only, we'll say "fun" to come of all this was Gabi and Kate being locked in a room together. They even got the room with the booze. Well, one bottle, anyway. I guess Steffie had all the rest shipped to Maison Blanche Two. Either way, Gabi and Kate are always a good time -- add in Abigail and Anna, and I was sort of in love with that foursome.

Okay. Truth be told, the scenes with Stefano and his children were not that bad, either. The snark level was off the charts, and it was nice to see Kristen not cry for a scene or two. Chad being mind-controlled is also very DAYS de jour. Billy Flynn is fantastic to watch. There's that, too. I enjoy a good dig into the history books and characters reflecting on when Andre did this to his younger bro years ago. I'm sure Abigail and her Post-Paris Awesomeness can snap Chad out of it as soon as she spots him again. If not, maybe she can use Gabi's wine bottle.

All in all, I'm ready for these chips to be deactivated and to move on to the next storyline. It's been generally fun, clever, and well acted and written, but it's starting to feel like the end of a trend where everyone is wearing that once-cool piece of clothing or listening to that song, just, in Salem, everyone is chipped or mind-controlled or kidnapped. Let's toss out any crocs still lurking about and take "Happy" off our playlists (Pharrell will understand) and look forward to the next chapter, Hattie Adams style. Deal?

LOOSE ENDS: Suzanne Rogers continued her tour of brilliance as Maggie said goodbye to her loved ones. She's pleaded guilty. She's going to jail. And I suspect everyone at Statesville will be glad to see her. She comes with tons of compassion and lemon squares. Oh, you know she's bringing the Tupperware filled with them for the gals. Maybe we'll get another DAYS digital series, called Red is the New Orange, following Maggie's exploits in prison. Like Victor, though, my heart's a little broken, and I'll miss her in the meantime.

Meanwhile, Xander tried to fix the Nicole problem. He paid off another hospital employee. So, basically, if you're dumb, apply to the Salem P.D., and if you're easily corruptible, log on at SalemUniversityHopsitalJobs.com.

Thankfully, Nicole is not giving up. I love everything about Nicole going to Abe for advice. That just works on so many levels. Their history is rich, and Abe is also a level head. Sure, Nicole won't heed all of his advice (or much of it), but I like where this is going. It's much better than Nicole hiding something from Eric that will ruin their relationship...again. Well, sure. She's hiding something, but when playing the "your baby's not your baby, she's your brother's baby, and your baby is dead, sorry, baby" card, you kind of want to be certain.

David is home! Sonny Evan-Whispered Mr. Maddox, and he returned the toddler to Rafe, Orpheus was arrested, and Eli and Lani proved to be the best, most covert spies ever. Ever. I mean, they were so amazing at hiding in plain sight in the middle of the square, I had to watch their scenes several times to realize it wasn't just footage of the square -- they were there, too! Wow. Good job, gang.

Kayla loves Justin. She will yell that to prove it! That is all.

In case anyone's wondering, J.J. is doing "fine" in Africa. Well. Okay. Then. But I still miss Casey Moss.

Ben and Ciara are officially reunited, and they're feeling fine. It was a sweet (and somewhat steamy) payoff for the pair. The humor was great, too, as was the nod to their first date with the Chinese takeout. It was a good week to be "CIN" or a CIN fan. Which only means, watch out for next week!

Sarah's "you are brave" speech to Kristen was rather lovely. Odd. But lovely. It's also kind of sad that Kristen is shocked by genuine compassion. Though Kristen handling random babies worries me, nonetheless. True, she usually steals them in embryo form, but you never know when she'll snap.

Speaking of snapping, there was a lot of various foreshadowing last week for several storylines. Sarah's claim to Kristen that "I would never be as brave as you," feels like something we should remember. Also, see above reference to Kayla loving Justin.

HOT I don't know where to start! It was a weird week in Salem, but there was so much to love, too. There's the Nicole and Abe team up. The return of Abigail. Tony and Anna's always-welcomed homecoming. And, well, Ms. Adams has surprised us yet again. Cheers to all of that and more!

NOT Was or wasn't there talk of a Brady Pub luncheon between Anna, Abigail, and me? I meant, Anna and Abigail? I don't know why so many Anna-included scenes end up off-screen (like a certain wedding years ago), but this needs to stop. Anna is all that and a bag of chips, and right now, we need "all that." And chips.

LINE OF THE WEEK Hattie (to Roman): "I am fine just the way I am."

EXCHANGE(S) OF THE WEEK Hattie: "It's a big world out there. I gotta see where Hattie Adams fits in." Roman: "Look out, world!" Abigail: "Are you sure you don't have some tramp stashed in here?" Chad: "Two, actually."

TRUE 'DAT LINE(S) OF THE WEEK Nicole: "Abe. This is Salem. Can we really trust test results?" Kate (to Gabi): "I swear to God, if I get out of here alive, I'm going to make sure this room is stocked with granola and jerky and cases of water."

SNAPPY COMEBACK OF THE WEEK Abigail (to Chad): "It's not just a ring, honey."

RANDOM THOUGHTS There was something epically spice-up-your-life "Girl Power!" watching Anna, Kate, Abigail, and Gabi on-screen together. We need more of that Fierce Four. Maybe they could start an official DiMera Wives Club. I'll totally hand over the Two Scoops corporate card if they want to get white outfits and do a rendition of "You Don't Own Me."

Like Chad or Abigail would handle rats in the tunnels! You know Harold has an entire exterminator getup for that and Maid Mary on speed dial if things go south. Who runs the house? Harold! Unless he's now at Maison Blanche Two. Or brainwashed. That I don't know.

When Rafe asked Lani, "Did you lose him again?" I kind of laughed.

Sarah, write this down and remember it: "Summer the Bummer ruins everything."

On the topic of Sarah's kin, I think Melissa Horton needs to visit for the wedding! If she brings Nathan, all the better. And, fine! Stop asking. I'll take one for the team and sit beside Nate at the wedding to fill him in on everything Salem since he's been gone.

Wow. I remember when Chad and Belle were almost a thing. I don't think I hated that, either, but I for sure like them as friends and coworkers. Yep. We need more Belle, please and thank you.

I was waiting for Stefano to state, "Everyone better put a smile on their faces or we're turning this scheme around and going home." Kids! AmIright, Steffie?

I can't blame Anna for having a tracking app on Tony's phone. After his decades away on an island and, well, "death" Salem style, it's no wonder why she always wants to know where he is. You know. "Just in case."

Gabi's "It was an accident" was rather funny, but Abigail getting hit in the head has me worried. It's not always sane in there. You never know what Gabs might have knocked loose. Plus, with Gabi's baseball history, you know her batting arm is pretty powerful. *Insert groan* I'll show myself out.

Just out of curiosity, where is this "lavish feast" Steffie mentioned? Asking for a friend.

When Stefano mentioned nuptial nuttiness with his "Queen of the Night," and Chad chirped, "He's marrying Marlena," did anyone respond, "Thanks, Captain Obvious." I thought it was hilarious.

2021 John: "Trust me, Kay. He's my best friend. The last thing I want to do is hurt my buddy." 2017 John: "You're right! I would never hurt the Patch Man, or blind him, or anything like that." 2018 John: "Well..."

I feel like Twitchy Lab Tech Guy and Gabi's App Guy, Chris Choi, game together online.

Ha! Abby's app dig was as hilarious as Gabi's reaction.

Next time Eli and Lani decide to spy on someone, who wants to bet they pick up some of those Groucho glasses and hide behind a newspaper but accidentally hold it upside down.

I highly suspect that Anna reads all her texts aloud before she sends them. It's great. Never change, Ms. Fredericks-DiMera.

Hmm. I wonder if there are any camps around this Crystal Lake that's outside of Salem. If so, I wonder if there are any camp counselors named Sissy Baker? Maybe Abe should investigate. I repeat, "Hmm..."

Tsk-tsk, Chad. Chad. Oh, Chad. Number One rule of Avoiding Fights Club: Never, ever, ever say someone is overreacting. Ever. He or she may be an overreacting fool and the active mayor of Overreactingville in the state of YouGoneCraysylvania, but you never, ever, ever say that. Again -- ever.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for March 30! While I'm sending warm thoughts your way, Laurisa is back next week to see who's been a fool as April springs into Salem, and, "That's a fact." As always, thank you for reading!

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