Claire and present danger

Holy Horton cabin fire, Batman! Claire's gone and done it again. This time she flicked her Bic with Tripp and Haley trapped inside. Will Ben save the day? Will someone save Claire? And can Will's life (and storylines) be saved? Let's put on something flame-retardant and find out in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

It was a short week in Salem, but someone must have uttered Nelly's name in a mirror three times because it's gettin' hot in herre. Specifically, the Horton cabin. Claire went all pyro-y and set it ablaze. Does she have a thing against cabins in general? I'm beginning to wonder. So, let's grab a bucket of water for safety in case she's around and discuss!

For starters, I'm disappointed in Claire. For someone who sure seems to love herself some fire, she should have known to stack the pile of wood in a teepee-like structure with kindling underneath. That's fire starting 101. Alas, she must not have been a scout of any kind, but I digress.

As it turns out, Eve received another honorary title last week -- though this one she deserves. She's not only Salem's latest commissioner, but it's newest Captain Obvious. She said of Claire, "I'm beginning to think you're unstable, dear." You think, commish!? Above all, Eve should know that very well, considering she's been Claire's constant as of late. Eek. That's like the devious leading the disastrous.

While I don't doubt that Eve truly cares about Claire, Eve's agenda du jour certainly comes first for the new commish. That's a shame, as it's a missed growth opportunity for Eve. I know it would cause some issues for her to reach out to Claire's loved ones, but you'd think after the regrets she had or claims to have with Paige, it would prompt her to put a child's (or even a pseudo-child's) needs first. The answer turned out to be, "Nope. Not so much. Lesson not learned."

But don't fret! Marlena's finally arrived at the party. And she brought cookies! She's now worried about her granddaughter's self-esteem and general well-being. That's grand, Mar. Just grand. To help, Marlena called Belle and Shawn then asked John to go check on Claire, too. Oh, wait. Nope. Mar went to the hospital to visit Will. Never mind.

Of course, Tripp did his part. He pledged to call her back and explain things...eventually. He feels real bad, y'all. He's sorry for what he put Claire through. He has compassion now that she's a hot mess. That's swell. Maybe he could ask her to work for him to show his remorse. Oh, wait. He did. Swell, Tripp. Just swell.

Needless to say, what Claire is doing is horrible. No doubt. Burning people alive is, as the kids say, "Not cool." But she's clearly out of her mind. Claire's basically adrift on a sea of instability with a lighter and a flared-up temper. In fact, she's the current Queen of Cray, and that's in a town where Kristen is running around in a Nicole mask and trashing hotel rooms.

So, yes, Eve. Yeah, Marlena. Yep, Salem. Claire is in trouble and needs help! The gal can't swing her handbag without hitting a relative, so it's a shame she was left to her own devices for so long without more check-ins. John doesn't have any besties to blind anymore, so he could have surely given Claire Bear some time. Where's Robo-John when you need him?

When it all boils down, this storyline is a vehicle for two things. It paints Ben as a hero-ish and gives Olivia Rose Keegan an amazing swan song. Let's focus on the latter, as I'm still a bit pouty-faced at Ben for manhandling Rory. No, Ben. No. Not Rory. Go pick on Tripp. I kid, I kid. Anyway...

Olivia Rose Keegan! Someone get Wayne and Garth in here to chant, "We're not worthy!" She's been amazing throughout this storyline. She's managed to craft craziness with an underlying tone of fragility. It's actually pitiful how far Claire's fallen, and Olivia is making that descent binge-worthy.

Plus, even if Claire hits rock bottom -- um... rock bottom-er, she can also do a stint in Bayview or a few sessions with Marlena, and all will be well again. A sinner can be a commissioner, or a former serial killer can be a hero, and the dead rise in Salem. Anything is possible. So, dream big, Claire! Just, you know, stop burning things.

LOOSE ENDS: Oh, no! Someone please fetch me a glass of water and, perhaps, a handkerchief for my tears. Maybe grab some smelling salts in case I catch the vapours and pass out. You see. I'm sad. Eli and Lani bro-- I don't even know if I can say it. Please give me a second to pull myself together...

Whew. Okay. Eli and Lani broke up. There. I said it. Somehow, I found the strength. And I'm feeling better already! That was quick. While it may not stick, I applauded Eli for ending things. I like Eli and want bigger and better for him. In fact, I'm already making a list of eligible women I want to introduce him to. Maybe his bestie Shelia could visit so we can take him out to get him over his broken heart.

As far as Lani, well, let's hope she, as Xander might say, doesn't put a wee dram of single malt in David's sippy cup and take selfies with him. Though, really, Sal Stowers has proven her acting chops. She's great. Let Lani fall off the sanity wagon and run amok. Sure, we may not need another crazy in Salem at the moment, but Lani's shown her instability a time or two, so this one won't be a long fall.

I really wish Kristen was going for a bigger goal than re-obtaining Brady's magic stick. That schtick is a little tired. She's better than that. If you're trotting out masks and masquerades, at least go for total Salem (or world) domination, lady. Though, if they're going with full-on Bradymania, she should at least call him her "King of the Night." A little throwback might fully embrace the amusing absurdity of it all. Call me when she puts him in a giant bird cage in some Parisian underground. And thanks!

Yep. It's past time for Sami and Lucas to be called. Though I'm being selfish, as I really want to see them again! I need a good Sweeney and Dattilo fix. A little E.J. update won't hurt, either.

Plus, while Will's storyline is giving the actors great material to work with and I enjoy the general umbrellaness of it all, I'm also selfish in wishing for it to end soon. I love the Rex and Sarah/Dr. Rolf tie-ins and Sonny vs. Eve and such, but there have been many characters on the verge lately. We know he will make it. He has to! If not, he can use some more *whisper* Resurrection by Wilhelm. There's that.

So, let's move Will and Sonny into something a little more action and adventure-y. Will can track down a hot story, with Jenny Bear acting as his Perry White or J. Jonah Jameson. Say, he could investigate what happened to Tommy Horton Jr., discover who Greta's father is, or determine if Marlena and Alex North actually had a love child or not. Maybe he could find Don Craig at the mailbox! Oh, and Sonny can, uh, carry his satchel, as he's not doing much lately. Win/win. And Ron Carlivati certainly wins when he mixes his special brand of humor, adventure, and encompassing storylines with the use of the show's history.

Speaking of history, Chloe was grieving, so I'll cut her some slack, but, girl, no. No. No. And no. Trusting Stefan was not the worst mistake of your life. The Chlomeister and I are in a good place now, so there's no use in rehashing bad blood, but, for the record, "Yeah, you've done worse. Way, way worse."

For the record, Stefan is still so not into Gabi. By that, I mean he's so into Gabi. And it's only a matter of time before the feelings become mutual. Oh, Gabi. Stay focused.

In a rather odd but interesting bonding scene, Maggie and Xander became pals. Well. Maybe drinking buddies. I'm not exactly sure what to call them. Sure, Xander was manipulative on the Kristen front, but I believe he was sincere about his compassion for Maggie. We also learned that, after his father's death, his mother became a drunk and hardly had time for him. She later went on to disown him once he was arrested. The first time, that is. So, interesting. Mama Xander is still out there! Will we meet her, or have we already been introduced. Hmm!

HOT If telling Jack "I lied" and "Go to hell" wasn't enough of a comeback for me to cheer for J.J. last week, THAT smirk Casey Moss pulled off as J.J. admitted what he did in order to clear Jennifer and Rory as well as give Haley time to escape was everything. Everything. Casey is crushing this storyline. More, please!

NOT I feel like DAYS missed a poignant moment by not giving Rory a musical montage set to "How Do I Live (Without You)?" as he reflects on his confiscated weed. Flashbacks of their time together. He and a giant stuffed baggie dancing in Horton Town Square. Walking hand in hand, err, baggie along the pier at sunset. Someday, Rory. Someday, you'll get it back.

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK: Claire (to Marlena): "I had a pretty bad scene with Tripp over at Pop-Pop's, and I, uh, took it out on the shepherdess."

Eve: "Rory hasn't gone this long without drugs since nursery school."

Julie: "Jack, you're a terrible person. Deeply terrible."

RANDOM THOUGHTS Did everyone see the DAYS summer preview from NBC!? It looks like it will be a fun, familiar-faces-returning season in the sun. I'm looking forward! If you haven't seen it -- we've inserted it just above this Random Thoughts section.

I have a new theory! I think Rory is the lovechild of deceased DiMera henchman Bart Biederbecke and an unknown DiMera woman. He has Bart's bumblingness, yet he's connected like a DiMera. I repeat, "Hmm!"

Does Claire's ringtone have an "Under the Sea" feel to it?

Julie and Chloe's partnership and uneasy friendship is a little gift from DAYS we didn't know we wanted. I adored that Julie basically had to coerce Chloe into realizing she was being legitimately compassionate toward her. Julie cares hard. She really does.

Lani and Stefan should be a thing. They both seem to get attached quickly to things that aren't exactly real or best for them. Oh! They could put a wig on a baby doll and live a Grey Gardens-like life in the DiMera tunnels. Ah, happy endings.

It would be rather amusing if Jack was the one to expose Kristen. He doesn't remember his past, but he and Nicole were pals at one time. I could totally see him stumbling into accidentally outing Kristen and becoming a "hero." His current ego would love that.

Man, seeing Rory (RORY!) just makes me miss him and Bev all the more. He needs to stick around, and she needs to return. Plus, as he pointed out, he's still single. Ha! I love how he just blurts things out to see what sticks. He has a job, he'd be committed, and he thinks you're cute, Claire. *wink wink*

I totally want to live like a soap character for a day, if for no other reason than just to trash a hotel room and throw a vase of flowers against a wall without worrying about being charged or cleaning it up. That seems like it would be a fun stress release. That aspect and waking up looking fantastic. Both soap aspects would be nice!

Marlena should lead with cookies more often. Just saying.

I feel like I should be snickering in an evil fashion when I say, "I want Kristen to take DiMera from Stefan and then watch a Kristen vs. Gabi match!" With Kate in Gabi's corner again, that would be juicy.

Dang! Julie is ranking right up there with Victor in the burn department. She said of Jack either dying or getting his memory back, "At this point, I'd be fine either way." Me-Ouch!

White Russians and holiday nogs aside, I'm not sure I could handle melted ice cream as a hangover remedy. Dairy after drinking doesn't scream, "Best combo ever!"

Chloe's "blue napkin" rant was moving. When you feel so helpless after a loss, it's easy to microfocus on the little things you can handle or should be able to. Directing the grief into something you can control is something one often does at times like that.

Rory's outfit had a Ferris Bueller vibe to it. That's not a complaint.

Eve totally needs a stogie and white cowboy hat so she can spout things in a Boss Hogg-esque way, like, "I'm gonna get that Weston boy!"

I want Kyle Lowder to get his own segment on the "DOOL" app where he (as Rex) explains old storylines. I enjoyed his tale about Roman, Andre, the mask, and the serial killer. Maybe he could sit in front of the Horton fireplace or in Ben's I-Spy treasure trove of an abode where there are surely relics of past plots to be spotted.

That little tent in the Hernandez backyard unintentionally creeps me out. I can see Lani emerging from it, Pennywise-style, with a little paper boat that reads the "S. S. David," and sputtering things like, "This isn't real enough for you, Rafie? I'm not real enough for you!?" Ahh! No, I do not want a balloon, Lani! Stop kissing Rafe. Go home. Get some therapy.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans that's Two Scoops for June 10! Laurisa will be back next week in some flame-retardant clothing and, if you're good, she'll make some lace cookies. And, "That's a fact!"

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.