Well maybe I'm just thinking that the rooms are all on fire

Salem's burning up with several storylines right now! Some are four-alarm, out-of-control fires. Some are big blazes, some steadily smoldering. Some are dwindling embers. And some are just prewarming. Grab your aloe, and let's talk about what's sizzling and fizzling in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Prayers answered -- Vivian is alive! Oh, and a snarky Xander strolled around shirtless a lot, greeting his foes with some incredibly hilarious zingers. Two Scoops out.

Well. My boss took time from his busy snacking schedule to tell me that I had to Two Scoops more. [SNACK -- er, EDITOR'S NOTE: I told him he had to write the column while I was snacking. I can multitask] So, while I could go on about Vivian being alive and Xander's antics...and I will...there are other sizzling May Sweeps "hot topics" that need to be addressed, too.

It seemed like that mid-Sweeps cleanup/setup week in Salem. Some storylines heated up. Some cooled down. And some sort of just reminded us they're there (Hey, Lani's still having pregnancy issues). So, let's start with some love in the afternoon...

Mo women, mo problems, right, Brady Black? I'd like to say I'm decisively on one team or the other, but let's be honest. The real "love of Brady's life" isn't Theresa. Or Eve. Or Nicole, Kristen, Madison, Arianna, or Melanie. Not even Chloe, or the next object of his affection. His great love is simply being in love. The dude's addicted to it. He can't quit it. That's perhaps the biggest problem with Brady. He's a one trick pony. He's the guy who loves a lot. And often. So, it's kind of hard to overly invest in which gal he'll pick, as he'll have another "great love" soon enough.

Still, Jen Lilley, Eric Martsolf, and Kassie DePaiva crushed it! Major applause to all three of them. Their masterful performances kept me glued to the Theresa/Brady/Eve scenes more than anything. Jen, especially, gut-punched me during Theresa's scenes with Tate and later with Brady, attempting to plead her case. When Theresa said, "I just want you to be happy to see me," I could literally feel Jeannie T's pain. Oh, Jen Lilley, you've been missed.

That doesn't mean that Theresa's a totally changed woman. Maggie's right -- there's still a schemer in there, and while good for storylines, that could end up bad for Brady in the end. And she's certainly not doing herself any favors by keeping mum about Chloe. That's not cool, Jeannie. Though I'm still scratching my head about Maggie's devotion to Eve. She's totally in. She has the "Team Eve" foam finger and face paint on. I just remember when Maggie felt the same about Theresa. It's odd, but I digress...

Moral is, neither Theresa nor Eve is a saint. Brady isn't, either. So, while there's legitimate love all around, this isn't a polite Abigail and Gabi situation where they both go rounds of, "No, you take Chad," "No, I insist, you take him." Theresa and Eve aren't above getting sassy with one another, but all of that is moot -- Brady's already made a choice. We just don't know which lovely lady he's more loony over. Theresa? Eve? The woman at the coffee kiosk in Horton Town Square he met while picking up an espresso along the way? Stay tuned!

Meanwhile in Mexico, Chloe wrote Lucas a love letter. It was sweet. But I'm not sold. See, I really, really want to get behind them as a couple. I do. I just can't. Something's holding me back. While I love the chummy chemistry between Nadia Bjorlin and Bryan Dattilo, I'm not sure if I see Chloe and Lucas as a love for the ages. The "hero" wasn't even allowed to tag along to save his "damsel in distress," and we're supposed to root for them? Okay. Sure. Let's look at that...

Lucas took Adrienne on some extreme sports dates. Parachuting. Bungie jumping. All-you-can-eat pancakes. Why couldn't he go with John and Paul, again? He's certainly physically capable. It just felt anticlimactic -- like your betrothed sending their assistant to get you a "special" birthday gift. Get up in there, man. Pick something out yourself. Rescue your gal. It was all just, well, weird.

Speaking of "weird," more so, weirdos, Mateo is a super creep. Dude just killed Miguel and left him in Chloe's room to rot. Not cool, El Noodle. Not cool. I feel horrible for the Chloemeister. She did not sign up for that special brand of crazy. Luckily, John and Paul are on the scene. Only they got caught by the El Mexican Macaroni, too. Whoops. Maybe Lucas should have gone, after all. Then again, John and Paul told Lucas that he'd be in the way. Wait. Isn't that what Carrie used to tell him, too? Snap. #sorryLucas

LOOSE ENDS: I'm not exactly sure what the long-term goal of Xander's return to Salem is yet, but I love hating him. Paul Telfer is slickly charismatic. With Xander's heckling and snark, he's sort of like Statler and Waldorf rolled into one then dipped into a Loki sauce to finish off that blend of mischievousness and bitterness over being the black sheep. It all works well. He's hilariously horrible. Stay, Xander, stay.

Oh, Leo. You've gone and enraged Mama Bear Adrienne. Will wants to punch you, too. Have fun with that! The tricky part is, Leo has this "evidence." We know it's bogus, but I tried to think of times when Leo and Sonny interacted in front of others and couldn't come up with many. They were basically in a vacuum. It becomes a "he said/he said" scenario between them at this point. Team Sonny is strong, and I'm sure Victor will be ready to riot, but Leo has Killer Kate and not much to lose, so he's a pretty serious threat to the empire. I'm just kind of excited that Leo's lawsuit should mean much more Justin and Adrienne time! They were awesome last week. Just ask his mother. Ha!

Will and Adrienne's scenes are semi-awkward, but I like them. They work. And I'm curious about this find in Dr. Rolf's diary. Should Will remember, it could blow everything apart between him and Paul while pushing him closer to Sonny, which is sort of/maybe starting to happen already. He was sure fired up about Leo. And if Will and Adrienne wanted five minutes alone with Leo, I could probably watch the door. Just putting that out there, and you're welcome, Will and Adrienne.

The best part of Lani and Eli's scenes were him threatening to sic Valerie or Julie on her. That was funny. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure they've had that same scene a few times now since the baby blowup happened. So, bring a book to read while in the waiting room. That's about as exciting as they're getting for the moment.

I applaud Abigail for wanting to atone for what she's done. I think she was being brave, but I'm glad Chad managed to sway Trask into a plea bargain. Abigail doesn't need jail as much as she needs therapy. Like, yesterday. I hope we get to see her through her court-mandated recovery, though. That needs to happen.

On the topic of recovery, Ciara is far from recovered from what Chase did to her. You don't say!? I hope the writers take time this time to let her get the help she needs. I loved Ciara and Julie's scene, as well as her scene with Hope. That's a good restart. I was just a little confused, though. I thought Tripp knew about Chase. Huh. Anyways...

Ciara did the only logical thing. She told Tripp about Chase and didn't blame Julie at all. Wait. Nope. She didn't tell Chase, and she totally blamed Julie for putting that bug back in her ear. It was all a rather painful and plain indicator that she needs help. Like, yesterday.

The part that worries me is that Ciara isn't ready to confront her demons. I don't blame her. Being victimized in that way is beyond horrific. She has many strong Salem ladies in her corner, but, until she's ready, she's in limbo. That's the worrisome part. Ciara's in limbo, pushing Tripp away. Claire is in South Africa, visiting George Glass. Oh, I meant Theo. They're not on good terms. The short of it: I'm worried that a single Claire and a confused Tripp will, you know, umm -- take it, Julie, "Sex, darling. I'm talking about sex." -- before Ciara can confront her demons. More so, I'm selfish and not looking forward to the next round of Ciara vs. Claire.

Remember that scene where Hope was goaded into killing Stefano? Yep. That one. It played out again, only this time, Kate was goaded into sending Vivian out for FroYo. Kate's not without her sins. I mean, the lady's list would come in volumes if printed out. Still, I kind of get where Kate was coming from. She was in immediate danger. Viv wanted her dead and probably would have tried again. Yet, it's the same thing with Hope. It's what she did after that was wonky, but, unlike Hope, Kate doesn't feel guilty. At all. But none of that matters because...

Vivian is alive! She's alive. She's alive. We're not sure who has her (but she certainly knows), and we're not sure when she'll be back in the mainstay Salem fold, but, sweet baby Elvis, she's alive. Excuse me while I go do my happy dance.

HOT I love when the writers do their homework! It makes DAYS that much more fantastic. Julie opened up about her rape with Ciara (great scene and major props to Susan Seaforth Hayes). Jennifer brought up what Lawrence Alamain did to her, too (fantastic scene between Melissa Reeves and Marci Miller). Marlena shared her experience with being torn between John and Roman with Brady. She left out the part about the Titan conference room table, but that was probably for the best. Anyways, it all worked perfectly. Nicely done, writers. More, please!

NOT-lite Abigail's worn two dresses. Xanimal and Theresa traveled to Salem. John and Paul traveled to Mexico. Leo seduced Sonny and filed legal papers. Yep. All of that happened, and Gabi's still in jail. Makes total sense. Couldn't she at least have been transferred to the Salem police station or University Hospital? Her lingering in jail just seems kind of unnecessarily jive at this point. Also, she's still in jail, and Stefan is roaming free. Yep. It's all unnecessarily jive.

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK Xander (to Eric then Jennifer): "Don't want to give you another shot at me. I might need painkillers from earlier, which I hear you might be able to help me score."

Trask (to Chad): "Lovely family. Don't invite me to the reunion."

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK Paul: "No one wants you here." Xander: "I'm getting pretty tired of people saying that." Paul: "So, word of advice. You should leave town, now." Xander: "And miss all the fun? And what could be more fun than watching all the people in this crappy little town freak out and wonder what I'm gonna do next?" Paul: "Oh, you son of a bitch." Xander: "You got that right."

RANDOM THOUGHTS Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Xander called Jennifer Eric's "second choice." Well...

Is it just me, or has it been a long time since we've seen a Lucas/Jennifer scene? I feel like it has. They need to chat. Then again, Lucas and Gabi got their long-awaited scene. Umm. Okay. Why not?

Though, instead of Lucas, maybe Julie and Trask should have visited Gabi with, maybe, something along the lines of a pardon and an apology. I kid, I kid. Pigs will fly Gemini Twins will fly again before that happens.

I love Thaao Penghlis pop-ups! He's never not a welcomed sight. I repeat, "More, please!"

While Brady's big love triangle has some little kinks to work out, I have to suspect Muh Lady DePaiva felt like a boss when Eve got to quip, "Don't expect me to go silently into the night while the two of you run off into the sunset, okay?" That was epic.

The awkward hilarity of Julie telling Ciara, "Sex, darling. I'm talking about sex," was great. It reminded me of that Golden Girls moment when Dorothy yells, "Condoms, Rose! Condoms! Condoms! Condoms!"

Rafe said to Stefan, "You gotta be kidding me!?" Dude. We ask that about Stefan all the time.

Kate showed some nice compassion to Abigail during lunch. I mean, if there's anything Abs can learn from Kate, it's the art of being around people you've done horrible things to.

Was that a "C" on Abigail's necklace? I couldn't tell.

That note. Oh, that note. "I'm Sorry. Your friend, Theresa," will never not make me laugh.

I would have taken Jeanie T's argument more seriously if she had broken out into song and sung, "It's all 'bout that Tate, 'bout that Tate, no Theresa."

Instead of "Don't Say Baby" or "Dirty Diapers," expecting Salemites and their guests should play a "Where Will She Deliver!?" type game at baby showers. A barn? An abandoned hotel? Smith Island? We just don't know. Game on.

I need to start using the term "dalliance." Maybe a good start would be having one. Even a little one. I repeat, "Game on!"

Is it bad that I kind of like Melinda Trask and want her to stick around? Laura Kai Chen is great. And the truth bombs Trask detonated on Chad about his family weren't really that off the target. Oh, and perhaps Trask should meet Xander. Something tells me they'd get along.

Oh. Right. Xander! Hope showed Ciara a picture of him. Something tells me that wasn't for nothing. Hmm.

I wonder what's up with Andrew Donovan? Eve and Theresa's brother, that is. Laurisa and I came up with this suggestion way back in 2015. It might still work, too!

I kind of adored everything about Kayla and Tripp's scene. Plus, those aprons cracked me up. And it proves that Lucas Adams can be swoon-worthy in a flowery apron with a lacy doily fringe.

Another crack-up moment was when Xander told Eve that he and Theresa, "Had our issues." Ha! Just a smidge.

Oh, El Noodle. "Opera super fan!?" I bet a bottle of Limoncello that Stefano would school that chump.

Maybe Salem could host an "International Creeper Contest!" Or "ICC" (read "ick"), for short. Mateo could represent Mexico. Old Scooter would do Canada the dishonor. And Stefan could step in for the states.

Quick! Someone tell Julie that Eli and Gabi reconciled. I need Julie distracted so I can steal those cobalt coffee mugs from Doug's Place. And if I ask nicely, maybe I can go to the loft, and Tripp will fill them up with Kayla's famous apple pie and ice cream. See, John and Paul aren't the only ones who can plan a sting. Oops. I just remember how well that went for them. Plan B, it is. I'll just steal everything and blame Gabi. Too soon? Muh bad.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for the week of May 28! Laurisa will be back next week to Two Scoops on which storylines are sizzling and fizzling. And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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