Pour, unfortunate souls

Is the new serial killer the best thing to hit Salem since Caroline's chowder? Who will be next? And could he at least scare Steve into being nicer? Find out in this week's Two Scoops.

As far as serial killers go, this necktie guy isn't too bad. Sure, he's ruining perfectly good neckwear, but he's taking out some of the less-than-awesome characters around Salem. He's basically the equivalent of that creepy lizard that you don't actually mind hanging around your yard because he eats mosquitos.

In this case, the last bug to get zapped was Paige. She had a good run there at the end, but for most of her tenure on the show, she was as exciting as a stale box of vanilla wafers. And when J.J. was in real trouble, she never once uttered the phrase, "That's it. I'm calling my Grandpa Shane." For that alone, she deserved the tie.

The really interesting thing about Paige's death is that both J.J. and Eve had a hand in causing it, though not so much because of their affair. J.J. ignored his undercover orders because he wanted Kyle away from Paige. And Eve exposed the whole operation to get J.J. away from Paige. They both wanted to micromanage Paige's life, and it backfired on both of them. How they deal with it should be entertaining to watch.

We got angry J.J., which is a good thing because Casey Moss rules at those types of scenes. But, I'll urge the young Deveraux -- take a lesson from Eric. Get it out then move on, kiddo. It's no fun to see you sulk over a lost five-minute love.

Next, Kassie DePaiva gets to humanize Eve a lot by playing these wonderful grief scenes. I thought the scene between Eve and Marlena was especially touching. Dare I hope that these women actually become friends? As for the prime suspect, Chad told Abigail that he didn't do it because of course he didn't do it. We all know this. Even Rafe and Roman don't like Chad for the crime, and they'd pin anything on a DiMera they could. But they're right. And, really, they look more foolish every second they spend looking into Chad. After all, Serena was an international diamond smuggler with ties to one of the most powerful families in the world. Maybe look further than the guy who met her six hours before she died.

Still, I'm not too bent out of shape about Chad's crime and possible drinking problem. Billy Flynn is turning in some great work. And this storyline gives Chad a break from that boring triangle with Lady Sobs-a-Lot and Sir Duh.

In other DiMera news, Aiden went to see Stefano. Sadly, Stefano didn't greet him by saying, "Hello, Peter. You're looking well. Kristen would be so proud of you." Nope, instead we learned that Aiden has been working for Stefano this whole time. Well, as "working" for Stefano as one can get when Stefano is threatening you with a secret from your past and you actually owe a Scrooge-McDuck-size pile of money to a different, yet-to-be-identified bad guy. So many amazing things to unpack from this revelation! First, this could be the most elaborate scheme in all of Stefano's arsenal, and that's saying something. Is Chase in on the con too? Is he even Aiden's son? Did Stefano dig up Hope's friend from mommy-and-me class to plant the suspicion of Aiden killing his wife? Was there even a wife? Since it's clear that Aiden isn't a totally willing participant in this whole thing, does he really have feelings for Hope?

And, most importantly...what bus do I need to go stand in front of to keep Daniel Cosgrove's Aiden on DAYS?

DAYS has had a streak of terrible characters happening to good actors (See: Melissa Archer). But Daniel Cosgrove's Aiden isn't one of them. This whole (admittedly, ridiculous) plot twist is working because Daniel Cosgrove is so wickedly talented at maneuvering Aiden between sweet, sinister, and desperate. I can't applaud him enough.

Also, would it be so bad if Hope were to fall for a con man? There was a time when Salem's resident con-turned-lothario was one Doug Williams. And we can all agree that turned out okay. Plus, if anyone can relate to Stefano taking over your life, it's Hope.

Now, I'm not saying that Bope shouldn't reunite. We know that he's going to stop the Haiden wedding, and I am looking forward to that deliciously soapy scene with all of my heart! All I am saying is that Aiden shouldn't have to be sacrificed to clear the way for Bope (and then possibly Rope) because Hope is a grown-arse woman, and "OMG, the love of my life is back again, and I can't live without him" is a perfectly good reason to dump your fianc.

At least that should satisfy Steve. Look, I generally enjoy the dude, but he might want to cut back on the buttinski lessons from Julie. It's not a good look on him right now. I am perfectly fine with him being concerned about Bo. Their friendship is one of DAYS' true treasures. And if he wanted to assemble a posse of Victor, Abe, John, and the rest to go rescue Bo from Jack's storyline, I'd wish him well! But the way he spoke to Hope reeked of superiority and had a slight whiff of slut-shaming. No good, Patchman.

Furthermore, he seems more concerned with Bo then he does with his own troubled kid and furious ex-wife. Wait...actually, Kayla might be the problem. She waited 14 years for Steve to come back and then even stood by his side while he had amnesia and dated Billie in front of her face. Never mind, I totally understand why Steve is shocked that a women-folk didn't bother to remain celibate and do nothing but search for her man who was indefinitely away. Carry on, Captain Johnson.

LOOSE ENDS You guys, we saw the inside of Hope's house and Marlena's penthouse! Happy DAYS are here again!

I'm not sure what was up with Daniel hinting that there may be strings attached to Brady's money. Perhaps this is an evil twin who resents the House of Kiriakis now. This is why I never trust a guy with a goatee.

Perhaps it's conditioning from my years as a Passions fan, but I'm a sucker for a gal named Theresa trying to land Eric Martsolf's character. When Brady covered Theresa with that blanket and kind of shook his head in disbelief, I couldn't help but smile. Whether sparring or not, these two consistently entertain me. They're becoming my DAYS guilty pleasure.

In whiplash news, Adrienne and Justin are back together. Sorry, Lucas. I can't say I didn't see this one coming. But if it will make everyone feel better, I will be glad to go eat all-you-can-eat waffles with Lucas now. No need to thank me.

One one hand, it's a little exhausting to buy into Eric's distress over losing Serena. This was a forced relationship with a made-up past that no one really liked in the first place. On the other hand, if it means that Nicole reaches out to Eric and he ends up as a fashion photographer working for her, my 90s-DAYS-loving self might just squeal with delight.

Shawn appeared in the mirror to Caroline! It's not quite the cameo Tony and I hoped for in our summer blog series, but it's the right idea!

Speaking of the summer blog series, check them all out here: Part One: Dream Girls Part Two: A Few Good Men Part Three: Phantoms of the Soap Opera Part Four: Somewhere Out There

HOT

I knew investing in all that Team Theresa gear was going to pay off! First, I totally bought her story last week about her relationship with her mom being strained because she constantly felt like her dream to be a fashion designer wasn't "big" enough for her mom. Second, Theresa's style has been on-point since she came to town, so the move fits with her character.

But best of all, Theresa is responsible for the trio of awesomeness that is Kate, Nicole, and Theresa all running Basic Black! For the sake of getting it out there, I'm glad that everyone is pointing out that Theresa had no experience. But let's not dwell on that because qualifications do not matter in Salem -- Brady with Titan, Chad with DiMera Enterprises, Sami with Countess W, etc. Nope, let's just get right to the good stuff where a major corporation in Salem is run by three strong, sassy, fashionable ladies.

NOT Oh, sweet Alice's doughnuts, John is going to look into his past again. I just... can't. It's kind of like when that friend who dates a lot of people tells you she's found the one. You smile and muster a half-hearted, "Uh-huh, that's grreeeeaat."

The truth is, I'm way over this. I don't care who John was. We know who he is. He's been on DAYS for a hundred years. And that's all that matters. I was starting to think Marlena needed to check her "I hate the ISA" attitude, but if it means avoiding this dead-horse storyline again, I might just have to back Mar on this one.

LINE OF THE WEEK Drunk Eric (to Nicole about Daniel): "Will you do me a favor and take this do-gooder home? Because I'm trying to get a buzz, and he keeps ruining it with all the talk, talk, talk." Man, I sure could get used to a DAYS where Daniel is only around when people need to tell someone to go away.

RANDOM THOUGHTS Considering Mr. Killer targeted J.J.'s paramours, I'm kinda glad that my Bev left town when she did.

I do have to wonder why John sold Basic Black without consulting Paul or Belle.

Yo, Eric, buddy. If you're going to lose your cool every time you see Chad, you might not want to hang out in the club that Chad owns.

As if I couldn't despise that weasel any more, Clyde went and made a mockery of a Christmas song. He's dead to me.

Ben: "Some people just don't deserve the benefit of the doubt." Oh really, Benny? Like say, I don't know, the abusive father from whom you spent all of your adult life running?

It's good that Daniel stayed over at Eric's house. The last guy who passed out drunk woke up with no murder alibi.

I say it's only fair that Rafe should get to call Justin in the middle trials and harass him about not getting a guilty verdict sooner.

How cute was Brady bringing Marlena flowers for putting up with John?

Steve's return may not be going over well with everyone in town, but darn it if it's not allowing some awesome one-liners to be tossed his way: Victor: "Someone who? Or did you leave your tin-foil hat at home?" Kayla (to Steve): "I've got a hospital to run. I don't have time to bang my head against the wall."

I had to chuckle when Aiden commented that he made Hope forget the love of her life in "only" a year and a half. That's an eternity in soap time!

I really think Ben would enjoy watching Big Brother. You can keep surveillance on people at all times, and the main characters cry a lot.

I wonder if Justin's new tantrum-throwing attitude is going to give Chad bad-dad flashbacks of Charles Woods.

The most soapy line ever: "That ended when he married a girl I detested named Susan. She killed him, and then his mother went insane, and his father just left town."

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