Great expectations

It's time to whip Salem back into shape. Abigail, Eric, Jennifer, and Jordan have some major work to do. They should turn to Will and Sonny -- or even Nick and E.J. -- for help. Find out more in this week's Two Scoops.

When talking about health, now is the time of year when things start to count again. If you're anything like me, you were doing pretty great until the holidays. Then you sorta fell off a cliff and into a delicious bowl of sour cream noodle bake and caramel fudge cookies where you stayed for approximately three months.

But now spring is here. And those short days and bulky sweaters are not around to serve as excuses anymore. It's time to wake up and start moving.

Well, my friends, DAYS has pretty much gone the way of he afore described wellness routine. We had an amazing summer (Sami's trial) and charged hard into fall (that wedding). But then right around Thanksgiving, all that progress seemed to crash right along with Kristen in that car. Sure, there were the bright moments (Eric and Nicole) to get us through the long, harsh winter. But for most of the time it's been...well...long.

So since last week marked the first full week of spring, let's make a plan for DAYS to get back on track by pointing out some problem areas as well as some strengths!

Problem Area #1: Abigail Here's the thing: DAYS could have easily gone the 50 Shades of Grey route with E.J. and Abigail. (It's so obvious that I'm actually a little shocked that they passed.) But the fact is that they didn't. Abigail was the aggressor. I mean, the gal used a chair to literally fling herself at him at one point.

So, I had a hard time watching Abigail hair-flip around town last week about what a manipulator E.J. is. Sure, I can see how revisionist history here would help make her feel like not such a trollop in this particular situation. But they really should pick a lane for Abigail. Either allow Kate Mansi to play crazy Abs again, or let Abigail be the honest, Samantha Jones-type gal who doesn't hang her value (positive or negative) on a dude and can realize her own mistakes.

Problem Area #2: Eric I was actually okay with Eric explaining that he wanted to wait until marriage to sleep with Nicole because it seemed genuine to his character. But I have to throw the flag on this whole recognition of marriage nonsense because I have an impossible time believing that he didn't think of this before. It seems like the church's view of Nicole and her past would have been something Eric would have gone over during that week he spent with Brother Lucky Charms.

Plus, if Eric wants to find someone who hasn't been divorced, he might want to start looking somewhere other than Salem for a mate.

(Side question -- As far as I can remember, Nicole's marriage to E.J. was the only legal, Catholic wedding. And considering that Nicole was never a practicing Catholic, does the church actually recognize that marriage? I don't really know how this all works.)

Problem area #3: Jordan This storyline broke one of the main rules of soaps. For the most part, the soap audience should always know more than the characters do (See: Nicole's evidence, E.J./Abigail's affair). But Jordan has been on screen for five months, and we still don't know if Jordan is her real name. Considering the absolutely fantastic effect she's had on Rafe in the present, I couldn't care less about her past at this point. Over. It.

Also, Kate needs to get out of the purgatory of this storyline too. She's got Stefano trying to woo her back, Nick Fallon blackmailing her for every dollar she's worth, and a genuine friendship forming with Sami that has been decades in the making. There's no reason for her to be using any of her fabulous free time on this worn-out mystery.

Problem area #4: Jennifer There is a part of me that certainly sympathizes with the growing population in Salem who can't stand Jen. But, the more they try to take her down, the more Jennifer is front and center of DAYS. This character could really, really benefit from a nice, long timeout.

Instead, let's focus on the two Jen-haters with potential.

Strength #1: Theresa and Liam Theresa has a legitimate beef with Jennifer. For some strange reason, Theresa's parents thought it necessary to let Jennifer weigh in on whether or not their grown, adult daughter got to live Salem. I'd be itching to kick that pedestal right out from under Princess Jennifer too.

But, I'm not so sure I'd do it at the expense of Brady. Actually make that, I wouldn't do that at the expense of Brady. For all his boozy bravado, Brady is a real catch for Theresa. He doesn't judge her, and he buys her nice purses. Plus, they both have that broken heart thing in common and perhaps could find a way to help each other out of it. Or course, they could also self-destruct around each other. Either way, Dr. Dan and Jen is not where she should be putting her energy right now.

And as for Liam, any guy who goes around sniffing lingerie can't be your run-of-the-mill crazy. I have a hard time believing that he's instantly obsessed with Jennifer after two dates. There has to be something more.

I loved @Tony_S_Day's idea that Liam could be Peter Blake. Not only would that explain Liam's crazy, but protecting/saving/helping her brother would be would be a seamless way to usher Kristen back to Salem. Plus, wouldn't you know it? Liam now knows that Nicole disposed of a shredded pile of paper...and that paper just happened to incriminate Kristen.

The other option would be for him to be connected to the Horton funds that went missing in Africa a few years ago. Perhaps he runs a hospital that Alice donated to, and now he feels entitled to more of the Horton money and is going through Jennifer to get it.

Either way, there's a window of opportunity for us to see what Liam is really up to and get on board. Don't know about you, but my bag is packed, and I'm ready for this train.

Strength #2: Nick and E.J. Blake Berris is an absolute beast. Sure, Nick is a slime ball. But DAYS is in desperate need of a good villain, and Nick is one of the best. I can't help but be drawn to his scenes. And last week, they finally put him up against E.J. And it was magic.

Kate and Sami scolded her. Will plead with her. Sonny fought with her. Yet Gabi still didn't budge. So When E.J. went to talk to Gabi, he turned up the charm and basically out-Nicked Nick at his own game. E.J. earned Gabi's trust, let her think that she was in control, and then played his trump card.

Gabi had been championing the bogus narrative for weeks that she and Nick were just like Sami and E.J. So I could have hugged E.J. when he threw her own logic back at her. He admitted that there were times when he thought he'd changed but hadn't -- and Sami shouldn't have trusted him at those times. BOOM! And to make the move all the more delicious, Nick was listening outside! There wasn't a thing he could do about it! Go on, Eej!

Strength #3: Wilson There was a time when couples on DAYS were solid. Storylines were written for couples as we, as the audience, could relax a bit because we knew that Bo/Hope, Patch/Kayla, John/Marlena were going to get through the adventure together.

We don't have those couples anymore. Yet, I'm not willing to accept this idea that happy couples don't have a place on-screen. And Wilson is giving me hope!

Whether it's dealing with a blackmailing cousin, a painfully stupid baby mama, a pair of meddling mothers, or an accidental murder cover-up, Will and Sonny tackle things as a pair, and it's actually entertaining!

Of course, yes, the elephant in the room here is that there aren't a lot of other romantic possibilities roaming around town right now for either of these fellas. So maybe this storyline is written by default. But it's working. There's no reason that it shouldn't be an example for other couples.

LOOSE ENDS The brief work scene with Nick, Lucas, and Sheryl was fantastic! I keep forgetting that Lucas doesn't know about Nick's blackmail.

Considering her role at the last family wedding, it's a good thing that Marlena jumped on the invitation to officiate Wilson's nuptials. Also, isn't it about time that Sonny stopped calling her "Dr. Evans"? It seems too formal for her favorite soon-to-be grandson-in-law.

Kayla was immediately smitten with Aiden and asked Hope for the scoop. Of course, Hope was honest. Of course, Aiden overheard. And, of course, Kayla is not going to be the one ending up with Aiden. Poor Kayla.

Sorry, but I wish that Kayla had stuck with Abe. While I'm a huge fan of them both individually, I'm not feeling Maxine and Abe at all. She's too big of a personality for him. Now, Maxie's "shape up, people!" and Roman's "What da hell?" might be a different story.

I'm still not cool with the way Brady is treating Eric. But both Eric Martsolf and Greg Vaughan are so phenomenal at layering the pain in their respective performances that I want more of the stepbrothers whenever possible.

A lot of people think that Sami is a hypocrite for criticizing others for dating someone they think "has changed." But I actually think the opposite. If anyone is an authority on 1) people letting go of grudges (let's not forget that Sami and Lucas are best buds now!) and 2) going through the loooooonnng process of forgiving someone (as any long-suffering Ejami fan will tell you, it took Sami and E.J. years to make it work for real), it's Sami.

I'm normally one who gets pretty irritated when people don't play in the right age group. But I'll break my rule for Casey Moss. He's proven that he can play with the big kids. Sorry, Paige, you seem like a swell gal. I'm sure Juilliard was a blast. But I'd like to see J.J. get an internship at Mad World and work with Nick, Lucas, Sheryl, and Kate.

HOT When Gabi gave Rafe the ultimatum of surrendering his opinion about Nick or leaving the apartment, Detective Right Move called her bluff, thanked the petulant woman-child for breakfast, and immediately excused himself. All Gabi could do was stand there with a dumb look on her face and pout that she didn't get her way. Can we all start a slow clap for Rafe?

NOT Just where do Abigail and Gabi get off questioning why Nick isn't invited to the wedding? Specifically, Abigail's use of the phrase, "He is a Horton," really irked me. Rather than say, "He is Will's cousin," she went with the assertion that Nick's bloodline somehow overrides Sonny and Will's wishes for their own wedding. I feel the need to remind these two chirpy brats that Will took a bullet for Nick the blackmailer. Will doesn't owe Nick anything.

LINE OF THE WEEK E.J.: "I'm telling you, darling, you need to get yourself a better class of co-conspirators." This is what's great about Ejami. Rather than scold Sami for not being a different person, he just advises that she be a better schemer next time.

RANDOM THOUGHTS Maggie mentioned Chez Rouge!

Apparently Mar and Vic made up! She didn't spout any hate when she heard about the Wilson wedding location. Yay for peace!

Tell me I'm not the only one who thinks that Liam and Lucas look a lot alike. Their hair, the style, Mark Collier and Bryan Dattilo's magnificent skin tone -- it's all made me do a double take more than once.

I'm no expert, but if the groom's parents are getting the happy couple a gift, it's probably not good form to copy their idea and get them basically the same gift.

I'll go ahead and mention that DAYS sent out a casting call for some new character named Shauna. But since DAYS tapes so far ahead, when she does appear, it will be like finding that dollar in your winter coat pocket from a season before. Score! I totally forgot about that!

Hey, Gabi, obsessive control freaks are -- by definition -- attentive.

I got a kick out of Rafe being miffed that his significant other forgot to mention a sibling. Remember what happened the first time Sami met Arianna? #karma

I kind of love that Kayla bought everything left on the wedding registry.

If Nick does make good on this threat and turn in the pictures, how is it not going to incriminate Gabi as well?

My sister gave Nicole the award for the Character Who Talks to Herself the Most.

I loved Lucas and Justin toasting, "To us, and to the parents of out, proud, gay sons everywhere." These two are epically awesome. No wonder they get to speak at the wedding!

And that's it for now. You're all cordially invited to come back next week for Will and Sonny's wedding! (Check out a preview here!) Tony will be taking you all through the next two weeks of festivities. Enjoy!

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