These are DAYS you'll remember

Between family squabbles and shocking revelations, Salem exploded with memorable drama last week! Plus, Sami was outed as the mole, Abigail outed herself as a liar, and Kate might have simply outed Will!

Drats! Sometimes the writers make it hard for me to Scoop. Like last week. Nothing much happened. There weren't any big revelations, bombshells, or interesting squabbles to keep me awake. Oh, wait! Sorry, that was my intro for another show. DAYS actually rocked last week!

No, not only did DAYS rock, it rolled, too. It was a Sweeps worthy, memorable week, which made things more delicious considering it's the middle of March. In the interest of full disclosure, a lot happened in Salem last week, and my brain is a bit scattered these days, so I decided to divide and conquer each character. Let's discuss!

ABE You know, I'm tired of Abe's whining. He needs to reel it in. It's not like his estranged wife is being a toolbox, his child disowned him, his career is kaput, and he was arrested during a media-filled public gathering by his archenemy, who pretty much stole his job. Oh, right. Yeah, it pretty much sucks to be Abe. And while Jack bailed Jennifer out of the clink, I'm curious to know if Abe's still singing the Cell Block Tango with Patrick Lockhart and Nick Fallon.

ABIGIAL Jack and Jennifer need to look on the bright side. At least Abigail's not a whore. She might be a crazy, lying, home-wrecking, wannabe whore, but she didn't sleep with the guy. That has to count for something.

And Abigail did tell the truth (when backed into a corner)! I'm shocked by the pace of this storyline. It's cruising along. Actually, I think it's about over except for the fallout, and that could very well be just as interesting as the rest of it.

Looking back, it's not that shocking that Abigail is a little off her rocker. Her grandmother, Laura Horton, wasn't exactly the picture of perfect mental health. Neither was her other grandmother, Jo Johnson. Add in Jack's dark side, and it's no wonder she's a bit freaky-deaky.

Ultimately, I'm eager to see how Abigail redeems herself. The writers missed the mark with Stephanie by having her fade to black after her time in Bonkersville. I hope Abigail doesn't meet the same fate.

Like Stephanie, Crazy Abs has a great support system. I hope the writers use them to help tell her story. Jack is a great resource for Abigail to learn from. I loved when he told her that she will have to deal with her lies. If the writers were smart, they would pencil in some family therapy time, and perhaps have Abigail talk to Kayla, since it was Jack who victimized her many moons ago. Then again, Kate Mansi has been so amazing, I'm not sure I want Abigail to get well soon. Hmm!

AUSTIN A lot of folks believe Austin was stupid for not knowing what was up with Abigail. To that I have two arguments. One, Austin has never been the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. And two, Austin at his core is a trusting sole. Despite her obvious and unhealthy obsession with him, Austin didn't have a reason to suspect Abigail would lie to him. So, nave, maybe, but dumb, well a little, but not in this case.

I also have to give props to Patrick Muldoon. He managed to pull off some majorly awkward scripts. From his conversations with Abigail to his talks with Jack and Jennifer, he managed to make Austin sympathetic and not creepy.

I even admire Austin for his willingness to take the blame despite being pretty much innocent of all the accusations being thrown at him. It had to hurt him when Jack and Jennifer went after him, but he was ready to take responsibility for what had happened. He is an upstanding guy.

Of course I don't admire his relationship with Carrie. That's a hot mess, and he certainly doesn't deserve to be the victim of Carrie's conflicting feelings for yet another man. Abigail might have been obsessed, but at least she was committed. Ah, well, maybe someday Austin will find a gal who only has eyes for him. Oh, and who isn't a crazy pants. Dare to dream, Austin. Dare to dream!

BILLIE There are so, so many reasons why Billie and Dr. Dan shouldn't happen, but, unlike Kate, I'm not as worried about Not-Julie-Pinson Billie and Ian getting a little chummy. In one way or another, nearly every Billie storyline involved Bo. She claims to be over him. I almost believe her this time, and I want to see what Billie is all about when Bo isn't front and center.

Therefore, her curiosity in Ian intrigued me. It suits Billie to be interested in a rich, handsome mystery man. Really, as long as she's not after Bo again or playing doctor with Daniel, I think we'll all be better off. Plus, it could add another dimension to the Kate/Ian/Madison weirdness, and that does need to be kicked up a notch to keep me interested.

BO Hey, ya'll! Just in case you didn't know, Bo's in a medically induced coma. Okay, it's quiet in here. Aren't you all supposed to scream really loud when I say "medically induced coma"? I'm pretty sure that was Pee-wee's "Secret Word" on Wednesday. Nevertheless, even while in a coma, Bo is still more interesting than Madison.

CAROLINE I was excited to see Peggy McCay! What a nice midweek treat. It gave me the warm-fuzzies to see her with the rest of the family. Of course, it wasn't a surprise that when Caroline came out, the craziness hit the fan (SEE: Parker's Baptism). So, thank you, Caroline! Without her showing up, we might not have been treated to some of the best scenes of the week.

CARRIE I will defend Carrie on one point -- she had every reason to be epically pissed at Abigail. She was lied to and pretty much played for a fool. To that, yep, she should be mad.

However, I don't believe Abigail's lies played a part in Carrie's decisions. Ms. Reed-Wannabe-Hernandez was falling for Rafe and un-falling for Austin (again) long before Crazy Abs entered the picture. As long as she doesn't blame Abigail for that and continues to be honest about her feelings, Carrie might escape an Alex North Memorial Award at the end of the year. Maybe.

CHAD I had an "OMG!" moment when Chad was shown in his apartment. He's not homeless! Who knew? I really thought he just wandered around the town square with a coffee cup. Coincidentally, he's the only person under twenty-five I've seen with a home phone, but I digress.

Gabi arrived at his studio -- because Chad has one -- to show him their first magazine spread, which was not an advertisement for herpes medicine, by the way. She also doted all over him. At this point, I think he's pretty dense not to pick up on her interest in him. Then again, I almost felt bad for Gabi having to listen to his conversation with Melanie, otherwise known as the most awkward conversation to have while others are in the room. I was waiting for him to ask her what she was wearing.

But before Gabi left, Chad a surprise to find. Well, more so a surprise she's hoping Melanie will find. I'm sure drama will ensue when the earring is found, but I'll be more interested to know if they find Chad and Gabi's so-called chemistry under those covers, too.

DR. DAN I know Dr. Dan gave Billie a boxing lesson, but I feel like the one who got punched in the face with a bad idea. Said "bad idea" revolves around the notion of a Dr. Dan/Billie relationship. I agree with Kate. The thought of him being with three generations of Roberts women is kind of icky. And the fact that she actually had to warn him makes me worry more.

Then again we should be okay unless Billie is hospitalized for something. Only when she's in a backless paper gown will he really get turned on. So, DAYS fans, let's make a pact. Let's encourage Billie to take her vitamins and work out. Only her good health will save us now.

E.J. For a minute I actually believed E.J. would make it through a week without getting hit by someone. I was wrong. Not only did Rafe literally punch him, but he also gave him a shot to the gut by letting E.J. assume he was Nicole's new lover. E.J. of course flipped out and called Nicole a whore, which was appropriate since E.J. is the epitome of virtue.

GABI Okay. I'll give one to Gabi. She's right. She is a hard worker. She's always working at the pub, spa, or my last nerve. Other than that, I'm not sure how well the old "earring in the bed" trick will work. On one hand, it's simplistic and could be effective. It could be especially effective if Melanie takes an idiot pill the day she finds it.

On the other hand, it pales in comparison to all the hard work Abigail did to land Austin. Granted, that didn't work out to well for Crazy-Abs, but at least it was memorable. With Gabi, I barely remember she's on until she pops up. So, methinks this would be a good time for girlfriend to bring it.

HOPE Oh, wow. Hope couldn't get cell reception. What a shocking revelation. In other "Fancy Face News," which will never be as exciting as her phone problem and I'm sorry for that, she's locked up with John and wants to strike a deal with Stefano so she can get home to Bo. I want her to get home to Bo, too, because this storyline is a bit tedious.

IAN Ian's "spectator sport" comment kind of skeeved me out. He sometimes has the presence of a dirty, pervy, skirt-chasing uncle that no one really wants to acknowledge, but has to invite to family gatherings. I'm pretty sure he was an early investor in the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling in the '80s.

Anyway, Ian shot down Madison's latest pleas for freedom last week. No surprise there. But he also met E.J. That was a brief encounter. I suspect those two will form some sort of twisted Legion of Doom, and that could be interesting, especially since Ian doesn't care what happens to Sami. Can E.J. say the same?

JACK I kind of have a crush on Matthew Ashford right now. His work last week was amazing! From his "Super Dad" moments to his support of Jennifer, I really enjoyed everything about his scenes, especially his reaction to finding out about Abigail and Austin. As a former sinner and current therapy junky, he is the perfect person to help Abigail through her breakdown. He knows what it's like to live with the guilt of hurting people. Let's keep this ball rolling, dear writers.

In other "Jack News," he's working on a book about his experiences in Afghanistan. Yes, please! I would like to see more of this, especially if that means he'll continue to work on his issues. Hmm, maybe fellow writer Jennifer could help him with his memoirs.

JENNIFER Just like Carrie had every right to be furious with Abigail, Jen had every right to defend her daughter after being slapped, even if said daughter is bat-shit crazy. I liked that Jennifer's mama bear instincts came out, but I'm more curious to see where they will go. I hope that we get some deep scenes between Jen and her little bundle of psychotic as they figure out how to right Abigail's wrongs.

In the meantime, Jen has to figure a way to defend herself against E.J. Considering she's probably not going to seek Carrie's legal assistance, the door is wide open for Justin to step in as her counsel. Not that Justin needs another thing to do, as his plate is so, um, full.

JOHN I love that John is so eager to help Hope, but who will save them both from this storyline? Don't get me wrong, it's a funny storyline. It's made me laugh several times. But that could be the problem. It's not meant to be funny, yet all I can do is chuckle at the ridiculousness, and that's a fact.

KATE I bow down to Lauren Koslow! I wonder if she knows how much I adore her? The way she plays Kate is exactly how a saucy soap vixen should be. Her scenes with Alison Sweeney were brilliant. Lauren does toying with people before lowering the boom so very well. I already have my tickets purchased for round two. Ding, ding, ladies! Let's get ready to rumble!

LEXIE I'm rather bummed. My calls to Anderson Cooper went unanswered. Why does that upset me? Well, there're several reasons, but mainly because I was reaching out to him to see if I could borrow his segment the "RidicuList" just to school Lexie on the following comment she made to Abe: "In other words, my past mistakes are much worse than yours."

Um, yeah, Lexie, yeah they are worse. Even in fictional worlds, adultery, kidnapping, and purposely misdiagnosing someone are a tad worse than swapping debate questions. Plus, Lexie, just because Abe was wrong doesn't make E.J. right all of a sudden. As Charlie Brown would say, "Good grief!"

LUCAS I can't even tell you how much I loved Lucas's reactions to finding out about Austin and Abigail. Hysterical! As were his jabs about Austin forgetting who he's slept with. I can't believe that was brought up, and I can't believe how much it amused me.

Lucas' scenes with Sami were also great. I love the ease of the banter between Bryan and Alison. They make Lucas and Sami's complex relationship work on so many levels. More, please!

MADISON Okay, seriously. Madison tried to appeal to Ian's softer side again. This chick needs to be tested for a learning disability. As Forest Gump would say, "That's all I have to say about that."

MARLENA Is Doc Evans Salem Stalker-ing again? If not, can someone tell me why she was wearing those black gloves all last week? She had them on indoors, outdoors, and even pulled a Michael Jackson with only one on at a point. Anyway, Marlena's wrangling and shaming of her family at the pub impressed me. I like Take-Charge Marlena. Well, almost.

There was one thing that bothers me about "Take-Charge Marlena." She seemed to have pointed a finger at Sami, while vaguely scolding the rest of the group. Sure, Sami could have been more respectful to the situation and kept her mouth shut, but I think Carrie pretty much set the inappropriate ball rolling by waltzing into a family gathering with her sister's estranged husband/her current crush, especially with her husband and her sister there. But, nope, Sami's wrong for saying something, Mar Mar. You're right.

MEALNIE I loved Melanie's part in Abigail's storyline! At first, I was worried that Crazy Abs would simply use Mel's guilt over their once-strained friendship to her advantage. And she tried, but Melanie stood her ground and followed her convictions. She gave tough love like a pro. Maggie would be so proud!

NICOLE Aw! I felt bad for Nicole when she realized she didn't have anyone to ask to stay with her. Rafe stepped up, which I liked. Actually, I really liked it. Arianne and Galen have fun chemistry. I thought so when they first shared scenes several years back, and I like them even more now. Nicole needs another real friend, and Rafe needs a friend who isn't afraid to call him out on his occasional holier-than-thou streak. Do I want to see them end up together romantically? Maybe. But for now I'm enjoying their friendship, and for me to enjoy anything involving Rafe is a good sign things are working.

RAFE Somewhere between admitting his feelings for Carrie and his budding friendship with Nicole, I actually started to like Rafe. I applaud him for apologizing to Nicole for using her. No, really. He actually admitted he was wrong and apologized. I was completely shocked, too.

I even commend Rafe for being honest with Sami. He's hurting and obviously still loves her, but he's not sending her mixed signals or simply walking away from her. He was honest and told her it's over, and why. Considering he used to be the king of mixed signals by walking away from their relationship without telling her why, I find that a step in the right direction for the character. So, congratulations, Rafe. I finally like you more than Stephanie!

SAMI If it sucked to be Abe last week, it really sucked to be Sami. She was outed as the mole and also told her marriage was over. Rafe even suggested she file the papers so he doesn't have to serve her with them. Ouch!

However, I have faith in Sami. I have no doubt she is going to find a way to get herself out of trouble. Granted, that usually involves her getting into more trouble first, but that's the best part.

SONNY I want to know what I have to do to get a "Free Coffee for Life" card at Common Grounds. Well, it would probably help if Sonny looked at me the way he looked at Will on Friday. I would officially say they had a moment, and I loved it! I will caution the writers -- this has to be a very slow burn.

The truth is Sonny would be a good catch for Will, but, at this point, Will might not be the best catch for Sonny. The young Mr. Horton has a boatload of issues to work through before he can give Sonny the type of relationship he wants and deserves. Sonny's smart, but he's in a position where his heart could be broken because he's proven he's loyal to a fault, and I know he won't give up on someone he loves. Then again, that's part of why I'm eager to see what develops from their picture-perfect first real moment.

STEFANO I love Stefano DiMera. I really do. He is the only man in daytime that can get away with asking his imprisoned enemies, "Are you done with the theatrics?" while sitting in a wingback chair, smoking a cigar, and taunting them via videoconferencing. I only wish he'd been wearing an ascot.

Anyway, Stefano has been on a spree lately. He had John and Hope drugged and encaged, Bo beaten up, and now he has a twenty-foot goon stalking Marlena with a video camera. Um, maybe the camera was mounted on a lamppost, but I like my giant theory better. It fits more with the absurdity of this storyline. But I digress.

Stefano is mean, mean, mean, but I'm a little confused about one thing. Remember when he opened Alice's envelope and he actually cried? Yeah, me, too. What happened to that? Are we to believe whatever he wants from John and Hope is more important than what made him cry? Or are they related? I'm confused, unamused, and feel abused. This storyline needs work.

WILL Wow! Will smiled! He actually smiled when he was horsing around with Sonny. You don't see that often these days. Of course, that smile didn't last long. Lucas told him to proceed with caution when hanging out with Sonny. That irked me a bit, especially when Roman's name was brought into the mix.

You see, I remember the scene when Roman talked with Will about Sonny's coffee shop. Roman didn't warn Will to stay away to thwart gossip. He simply told him to report back if anyone gave Sonny grief and he would step in to help. I could be wrong, but I don't recall Roman once worrying about Will's image. He was worried about his and Sonny's safety. So, sorry, but Lucas and Ro Ro weren't on the same page as far as I'm concerned.

Granted, I don't think Lucas did anything wrong, per se. He hasn't picked up that Will is struggling with his sexuality. So I can't fault him for that. And I can't fault Lucas for wanting to protect Will's image. He went to jail to do just that. So, I don't think his comment was as much homophobic as it was ignorant to the real truth of the matter. However, if Lucas doesn't support Will if/when he comes out, I will have a problem with that.

Coincidentally, Kate knows exactly what's the matter with Will. She pretty much called him out! I know Will's not ready to confirm this, but I like where this is going. Kate loves him no matter what. And considering Kate's personal assistant is gay, I don't think she'll have issues with his lifestyle. The only worry Will should have about coming out to Kate is hoping she likes the man he chooses to be with as Kate, believe it or not, can be a little intense if she disapproves of her kids or grandkids' choice of mates.

HOT: I'm not sure which part of DAYS I loved more last week -- the family brawl at the Brady Pub or Abigail's confession! Then again, Kate messing with Sami was fun. As were all Rafe and Nicole's scenes. Oh, oh, and I loved Lucas and Sami's scenes, too. Of course, Dr. Dan and Billie were -- okay, just kidding. They made me queasy, but the rest of DAYS was packed with so many soaptastic moments that not even Madison bothered me, well, that much. Bravo, DAYS, bravo!

NOT: I'm not going to dwell on this as my feelings are clear, but this Alamainia stuff has got to start happening soon, or else I'm invoking my "Get Out of Scooping Free" card to bypass the section in the future. One should not be bored with a storyline involving Joseph Mascolo, Kristian Alfonso, and Drake Hogestyn. That's all I'm saying.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Kate (advising E.J. on how to cure his broken heart): "Go out and buy yourself a blowup doll. Spray it with some cheap perfume, and it will be just like Nicole never left."

Honorable Mention: Lucas (to Austin): "Wait, wait, wait! You slept with my niece? Dude, what's wrong with you!?"

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Did you know there is a Rafael Hernandez School in Newark, NJ? Conversely, I am trying to open the Kate Roberts Culinary Institute in Brookville.

Isn't it nearly time for our yearly Sydney recast? I hope not, though -- this one's a cutie!

My new get-rich-quick scheme involves selling wall sconces in Salem. They're everywhere!

Does anyone else think that if Belle returned to Salem, went to the pub, flipped out because she was served lukewarm clam chowder, and punched Caroline, Marlena would still find a way to blame Sami?

I love the NYC subway artwork above Chad's bed.

We have a middle name update! It's Daniel "Discretion" Jonas. I always thought it was Daniel "Manwhore" Jonas. My bad!

PARTING THOUGHTS: So, friends and DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of March 26! Laurisa will be back next week to cover the unseasonably warm Sweeps-like weather in Salem. And, "That's a fact!"

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