Black and blue Christmas

Secrets are like sex tapes. They're eventually going to get out, so be mindful where you put them. Stephanie wasn't so mindful, which caused Dr. Dan to go ballistic!

'Tis the season, DAYS fans! And at this time of year, it's hard to not embrace traditions. One that I'm thrilled about is the annual Golden Donut Awards, which will be posted next week! Be sure to put on your Sunday best and join Laurisa and me for our Fourth Annual cyber-ceremony. In the meantime, be sure to check out my blog for a rundown of past winners!

In Salem there are plenty of annual events to celebrate as well. There's the heartwarming hanging of the Horton ornaments. The Christmas Story being read at University Hospital is always a nice yuletide treat. And all of the sentimental gifts being handed out from one Salemite to another are sure to get us all in a merry mood.

But if those things don't convince you to rock around the Christmas tree, there are still other things that just scream holiday cheer. Things such as a sick child stuck in the hospital while his parents scream at each other, or, say, a fist-fight between a father-in-law and son-in-law, or a father having to leave his child with her grandparent's right before Christmas to rescue her imprisoned mother, or a couple fighting about infidelity...umm, where was I going with this again? Right! DAYS was depressing last week.

I'll second Hope's prayers. We need a Christmas miracle. We need something jolly and bright to hold on to. I fear if things keep going as they are, DAYS fans might end up with a storyline lump of coal and a complimentary box of Kleenex in our stockings this year. Like Hope, Philip, and Dr. Dan, I also feel a little battered and bruised after last week. Let's discuss!

JOHNNY I don't expect my soaps to come without an occasional dose of the boo-hoos. But this has been a rough year. Mickey and Alice passed away. Ciara went through enough psychological turmoil to ensure her teen years rival Sami's. Nathan, Melanie, and Carly nearly died. Make that twice for Melanie. Big Red spent some time in a sarcophagus. You know, cheery things like that. But now Johnny is sick and, as Dr. Kim ominously announced, it's serious.

Now, neither E.J. nor Sami are overly likeable at the moment, but Johnny is. He's downright adorable. And that's what's making this storyline compelling, albeit ill-timed and very sad. I don't have any doubts it will continue to be well acted, but am I the only one who could use a break from all the heartache?

In the interest of full disclosure, this storyline makes me uncomfortable. Having it focus solely on Johnny would make it a bit more bearable, but, as it stands, it just seems like his condition is merely another reason for E.J. and Sami to lock horns. We know E.J. is furious with Sami. We know Sami is furious with E.J. But we need to know Johnny is the priority, and not their bitterness towards each other. Can you have one without the other? I'm not sure, but I am sure the writers need to tread carefully with this one.

DR. DAN, PHILIP, and COMPANY Hey, Steph! One word for you, chica, "Discretion!" Find a Webster's and look that up.

While she's busy with that, let's talk about how Steph inadvertently spilled the beans about Philip's affair to Dr. Dan. But let's talk about it in the middle of a crowded corridor. I mean, really, how could discussing such an intimate secret in public ever backfire, especially when talking about it where a person you're trying to keep it from works? That's a stumper.

On the other hand, thanks, writers! I'm ecstatic that someone actually overheard something juicy. It's about time! Although, moments like those make me wonder about the capability of the Salem P.D. It worries me they haven't realized they could easily solve half of the crimes committed by simply sitting at the pier or Brady Pub to wait for a confession. But I digress.

Secrets are like sex tapes, they're eventually going to get out, so be mindful where you put them. Steph wasn't so mindful, which caused Dr. Dan to go ballistic! For a moment there, I was waiting for Philip's transplanted face to go splashing into the river. But it didn't and, in the end, Dr. Dan agreed to keep the secret for Melanie's sake. After all, Philip was sorry and claimed it was a one-time fling with Sabrina, Titian's resident horny assistant, so why upset Mel? Why, indeed.

The bigger questions are, who's left to root for and who do we sympathize with? No one is innocent. Everyone is lying to someone, some for the "greater good" and some because they're selfish, annoying twits. That aspect is fascinating in terms of a good, layered storyline and character interaction, but annoying in the sense that each character's IQ has been dropped to accommodate the secrets. One thing's for certain, there's going to be a huge "Oh, that make sense now" moment when all of these cats finally get out of the bag.

BO and HOPE I don't know exactly what Bo has planned, but it involves him being away and him helping Hope. Yes, please! I've been jonesing for a little action/adventure, and Bo and Hope rarely disappoint. I think the only disappointed person will be Carly. The poor woman just isn't catching many breaks this year, unless of course, you count heartbreaks. In that case, Carly has her hands full.

Then again, Hope has her hands full, too. Although I'll give Warden Jane some credit. She really knows how to mess with people's minds. Heck, I even looked skeptically at my water bottle before taking a sip. Kudos to Gina Gallego for taking the role and running with it!

ABE and LEXIE The Carvers were on several days in a row, and that's a present-day record, I believe! To boot, they had their own issues to deal with. First with Theo and then, for some off-the-wall reason, Abe suspected Lexie was cheating again when he found her and Ben hugging.

To be fair, Sami planted that seed of suspicion when she lashed out at Abe. But on the other hand, I don't blame Abe for raising a John Black-like eyebrow. Lexie has been known to stray from time to time (to time). Granted, she can't be punished for her infidelities indefinitely, but it's easier to forgive than it is to forget.

Thankfully, Abe and Lexie talked it out like adults should do *nudge, nudge to E.J. and Sami* and those scenes were great! I appreciated the writers bringing up their rocky past, especially the part about Lexie kidnapping Zack, even if Sami ripping into Abe was hard to watch. I often feel Abe and Lexie are sometimes forgotten and/or glossed over. Whoops, I meant Abe and Lexie's pasts are sometimes forgotten and/or glossed over. Yes, that's what I meant.

LOOSE ENDS One thing I like about Philip and Chloe is that the writers pay attention to their long history together. Last week, they really dove into it -- flashback and all! I'm a sucker for nods to the past and I thought their scenes were a nice, cheesy stroll down memory lane.

Speaking of memories, mine must be a little fuzzy. I thought Melanie was a loveable, yet spastic ball of energy. With that said, I absolutely agree with Carly, I was confused by Melanie's chill reaction to Dr. Dad and Philip's fistfight, too. A fistfight! For a gal who probably gushes like a madwoman when the mail comes, I thought it was out of character for her to be so whatever.

Adrienne was dizzy and called Nathan. I suspect she might want to bend his ear about Steph. I hope that she wants to bend his ear about Steph because, if the writers mess with Adrienne's health, I'm going to flip. We've had enough death and disease for one year, thankyouverymuch.

On a brighter note, I could get behind Victor and Rafe teaming up again. Sure, the lines of right and wrong are a bit blurred, but I'll never turn away a heaping helping of surly Victor or more character development for Rafe. I won't turn away some of Victor's wisecracks about Nicole either!

I think I missed a memo somewhere. Did DAYS want us to vote for the "Most Awkward Scene of the Week" via text? I say that because Melanie and Stephanie's "talk" was ber awkward; Bo, Abe, and Sami's arguments made me uneasy; and Ben's warning to Nathan was just all shades of off. I think the latter might have taken the prize, though. Where did that come from!? I was so confused.

EXTRA SCOOPS

HOT: Fired-up Lexie was pretty awesome! Over the past few years, we've seen a mellower Dr. Carver. A faithful wife, a devoted mother, an advice-giving big sister, and a patient doctor, but to see her fiery side flare up was a nice treat. It goes without saying, Sami was lucky she wasn't home when Lexie came a knockin'!

NOT: I totally believe Caroline kept Bo's paternity a secret because she loved Shawn and knew he would be a great father to Bo, as he was with Roman, Kimberly, and Kayla. Nope, I don't doubt that. But I do doubt her reasons for keeping Parker's paternity a secret. Whereas I like Caroline having a little edge, I just don't believe she would actually sit with Stephanie and casually gossip about secrets that could potentially destroy lives if the truth came out. At one point, after Stephanie described one of the latest lame lies she told Nathan, Caroline actually giggled liked a schoolgirl and said, "He bought that!?" Nice, Mama Brady. Real nice.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Nicole (to E.J., explaining why she needs contact with Brady regarding Vivian): "Well, we kind of played a little prank on her."

Honorable Mention: Victor (to Maggie, regarding Stefano and Kate's breakup): "Didn't you hear? Morticia and Gomez are no longer together."

RANDOMNESS... If the show wasn't depressing enough last week, check out soapcentral.com's article on James Scott's future with DAYS!

I'm thinking about going to Salem and setting up shop as a child psychologist. I'm pretty sure I'd bank.

FYI, Steve's better and heading to Zanzibar with Kayla.

Bo and Ciara's scenes were like a total cute overload.

Bo and Sami's scenes are always odd, but entertaining for some reason.

Hmm, Dr. Dan, I wonder why Parker has a dimple? Look up, Dr. Dad, look up -- Philip was standing right there!

Whatever happened to computer geek Ian? Methinks he's off somewhere coveting Stephanie's hairbrush and doodling her name in his notebook.

Also, where is Jo Johnson these days? I think Stephanie might want to consult with her other grandma from time to time.

I loved Jennifer's enthusiastic, "What's our plan?" when Bo mentioned helping Hope. You go, girl!

Shouldn't Morgan Hollingsworth's two-year internship be over now? Philip might be single soon, that's all I'm saying.

Dang! Salemites sure are productive in the morning. Gabi worked a shift before school, Rafe and Victor had some cocktails, and Chloe welcomed a slew of guests. I kind of feel guilty now for hitting my snooze button six or seven times.

PARTING THOUGHTS... So, friends and DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of December 20th. Both Laurisa and I will be back next week to present the Fourth Annual Golden Donut Awards! Who will snag our coveted shiny golden cyber-trophies this year? Check back next week to find out! And, "That's a fact!"

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