Glitter and gold!

Is Lucas a masochist? He seems to like being mistreated, humiliated, and incarcerated. Is the food in jail that good, or does he just miss his cellmates?

Are you ready soap fans? The 35th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards are right around the corner and I know two Two Scoopers who are overly, dare say unhealthily, excited about the FOUR acting nods the show got this year! Days has already struck Emmy Gold at the 35th Annual Creative Arts & Entertainment Daytime Emmy Awards that were held on Thursday, June 14th and took home the trophy for "Outstanding Achievement in Hairstyling for a Drama Series." Congratulations to the behind the scenes gang - I hope they partied hard and celebrated their much deserved win! I also hope their success is just a sampling of things to come!

Since Laurisa and I couldn't get all dressed up for Tony and Anna's wedding, you know, since they didn't have one on-screen, we're "Thinking Green" and recycling our formal wear for the big event on Friday night! I'm deciding between the ever popular powder blue tux and one of those t-shirts with the tux top designed right on them. As for Laurisa, she is recreating Barbie's 1988 Holiday dress! It should be a real crowd pleaser. Oh, yeah, and by saying that we're wearing our formal attire to the awards, I really mean jeans and a t-shirt while we sit on our respective couches and watch. But, there will be champagne! Err, I can't back that up, but there will be cheap booze and that's gotta count for something.

Speaking of the awards, Laurisa and I cordially invite all soap fans to check out our "Emmy Roundup Extravaganza!" We'll be critiquing the awards afterwards on our blogs and plan to discuss many important things like what people were wearing, who looked hot, who did not and who forgot to thank someone special!! Laurisa's will highlight the "Emmy Hits" and on mine we get to let the claws come out and talk dirt on the "Emmy Misses!" And, with that, I officially end the shameless self promotion portion of this column ... so now, let's talk some Days!

Salem was a pretty weird town last week. Shady Max turned all green and angry and became Mean Max. Lucas proved the apple didn't fall far from the Bad Idea Tree and took off his monitoring device. Morgan and Philip played another round of "To Flirt or Not to Flirt?" and Chloe wasn't having that. And then there was John who macked on Ava then stood by flexing his brows as Marlena walked out! Just another week in Salem, right? So, to celebrate the week and help us prepare for the Emmys, this is column is going to be an exclusive "Days of Our Lives Emmy Awards for the Week of June 9th!" Since the nominees are seated, let's see who "wins!" "Biggest "Ouch" of the Week"

The nominees are ...

- Dr. Marlena Evans for walking in on John's date/realizing "Old John" is gone (for now) - Nicole Walker for telling E.J. he deserves to be with a woman who actually wants him - Chloe Lane for seeing Morgan and Philip together then giving her a "friendly warning"

And the winner is ... Dr. Marlena Evans. I'm not going to dwell on this because I'm sure eventually the sanctity of John and Marlena will be restored, but I did feel bad for Blondie. At first she seemed to be waiting for a rational explanation, but when he said that he was moving on I really felt for her. Since it wasn't the first time, I have a sinking suspicion that it won't be the last time we hear this conversation, yet this round was rough. Marlena has walked out before to do some soul searching, but this time John gave her a little shove. Perhaps this is what she needs to finally embrace the fact he has changed whether she likes it or not. I personally would like her to do a little soul searching on-screen opposed to her trips off the canvas. This is a powerful storyline, yet we haven't seen Marlena process things on her own that much. We've seen her try to make John remember, we've seen her somewhat distressed, but I think Doc's due for an all out breakdown and I wanna watch!

"Most Awkward Moment of the Week"

The nominees are ...

- Chelsea Brady for chewing out Dr. Dan at the hospital - Ava Vitali for being caught in the crossfire of the John/Marlena "break up" - Hope Brady for her and John's cruise down memory lane in the "Love Sub"

And the winner is ... Hope Brady. Did anyone else feel really bad for her? That was perhaps the most awkward conversation I've seen in a while. Normally RoboJohn can get a pass by using the "I don't know why asking about this is a big deal?" excuse, but I think he knew exactly what he was doing this time and enjoyed making Hope squirm. Revenge for being locked up? Perhaps, but it was just all shades of icky. On the other hand, it's nice the writers aren't glossing over some of the more idiotic storylines, yet I'd rather not see that flashback again - ever.

"Dumbest Idea of the Week"

The nominees are ...

- Chelsea Brady for deciding she wants a summer job at University Hospital - Ava Vitali for choosing to get involved with a married man - Lucas Roberts-Horton for taking off his ankle monitor

And the winner is ... oh my god. ... it's a tie! The winners are Chelsea Brady and Lucas Roberts-Horton.

Our panel, ok, me, had a hard time deciding which idea was the dumbest. First let's talk about Chelsea. I like her, I really like her, but she wants to work at the hospital?! Really?! And just when she was doing so well at making mature decisions. That just screams bad idea all around and is placing her exactly where she shouldn't be - in the middle of the circus where Dr. Dan is the ring leader. I was so excited when she kept telling him to grow up and she wasn't going to chase after a man who's afraid of this and that, but then she took this huge step backwards and is heading down Patrick Lockhart Lane again, I.E. chasing after a man. Granted, Dr. Dan is giving her more mixed signals than a broken traffic light, but she needs to stick to her guns, take a step back and let things fall into place. Subtle nudges might help her land Dr. Dan, but constant slaps in his face will only drive him further away and make her seem, I don't know, immature. I love ya Swamp Baby, but tread lightly.

Now let's talk about our other "winner," Lucas. Wow, his idea is just beyond dumb and just reinforces what Laurisa said last week - he should be thanking his lucky stars he's not rotting in jail. What does he do instead? He takes off his ankle monitoring device thingamajig and takes a stroll on the pier! Yep, that sound was my hand smacking my forehead. I think Lucas is secretly a masochist as he seems to like being mistreated, humiliated and incarcerated. Is the food in jail that good or does he miss his cellmates? Those are only some of the lame reasons I can think of as to why a man who was handed the sweetest "get out of jail free" card I've ever seen is ripping it to shreds. To make matters worse - Captain Obvious hid the device in a brown paper bag under the sofa because, you know, no one would ever find it there. What a doofus!

However, I was actually a little surprised by Sami's reaction as she seemed too calm. Eerily calm. She was like a mother who knew her child did something bad, yet was waiting patiently for him to confess. Seriously, she knew he was lying, he knew she knew he was lying, yet she didn't go full out ballistic on him? A bit shocking. Our gal Sami's either letting it go as to not rock an already rocking boat or she's giving him enough rope to hang himself with. I think it's the former, which is admirable, but destined to blow up in everyone's face. Roman was already a little curious as to why he couldn't see Lucas, Chloe suspects he wasn't at home when he called her and Sami knows something's up which could potentially have the most explosive consequences for Mr. Lucas. He was lucky she's feeling guilty or else he would probably wish he was back in jail.

"Biggest Arse of the Week"

The nominees are ...

- Max Brady for being a shady and mean - John Black for letting Marlena walk out - Paul Hollingsworth for being a shoddy double agent

And the winner is ... Max Brady. John was a serious contender yet redeemed himself by ending his date with Ava then breathlessly whispering "Doc," but Max stole the "Arse Award" last week. Where do I begin with this? First, he needs to cool his jets and stop flying off the handle. Upset? Ok. Mad? Sure, we all get mad. Screaming at Pete the Bartender, a professor in public and the people who love you? Not cool Max, not cool. I get that he's upset, everyone gets that he's upset, but if he wants people to believe he's not he may need to turn the anger dial down a notch. He has a great family, good friends and a supportive girlfriend/niece who wants to help him yet he tried to act all, "Nothing's wrong." Right. I wouldn't buy that excuse even if it was on sale.

However, I will give him a little break - Stephanie was getting a little too pushy towards her boyfriend Uncle Max and she did snoop in his belongings which turned the Incredible Max another shade greener. Fortunately, she backed off a little towards the end of the week and simply tried to be there for him. Unfortunately for non-Stax lovers, that meant we had to watch members of the same family go at it again. I guess there is a bright side for Stephanie, however, if they were to eventually get married you couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law than your own loving grandma. Ewe. Over all, there was just a huge overdose of the entire Max lashing out/what's wrong with Max scenario last week. I'm starting to think all the "Green Talk" wasn't so bad after all. Moving on ...

What set Max off from the other nominees was his attitude towards his intelligence. I think it's fairly obvious why he wants to renounce his brilliance. He doesn't want to acknowledge the possible similarities between him and someone who might turn out to be his biological father, whom ever that may be because right now I am totally stumped on that one as we haven't gotten any clues - at all. Right. But back to his "intelligence." I was glad Nick stuck up for himself. When Max said something like, "I didn't want to be called a geek," I really wanted Nick to punch him. Ok, my hopes to that punch were that his lips would swell up and he couldn't talk anymore. Well, those wishes weren't granted, but I'm hoping my next one is - a quick end to this tiresome storyline.

"Most Likely to get Burnt"

The nominees are ...

- Paul Hollingsworth for going rouge and burning down the warehouse - Philip Kiriakis for getting in over his head (both in business and with the ladies) - Chelsea Brady for deciding she wants a summer job at University Hospital

And the winner is ... Philip Kiriakis. Chelsea might be a spitfire and Paul might have been literally playing with fire, but Philip is the one who's gearing up to be burnt. Victor and Chloe already seem on to his recent bad ideas, but now Bo's on the case! Detective Brady may bend the rules at times, yet he never let's them break, doesn't plays favorites and likes to nail the bad guy which equals watch out Philip! Then again, Bo is a Salem Police Officer, so maybe Phil does have a fighting chance.

Yet it seems Little K was also playing a game of "Relationship Roulette." I admit that he and Chloe steam up the screen, but I'd like to see Morgan win his heart. Sorry, I'm still on the "Phorgan" bandwagon. They have enough odds to beat, some of which he caused, so it might be more interesting to watch than Phloe, Part Two. He will definitely have some groveling to do when she finds out he was, in fact, working with her father and she definitely won't let him dimple his way out of that mess.

"Most Positive Signs of Improvement for the Week"

The nominees are ...

- Philip Kiriakis for finally asking Morgan out to dinner (as friends, of course) - Lucas Roberts-Horton for ridding to Chloe's rescue - Kate Roberts for having a storyline that doesn't involve meddling in her kids lives

And the winner is ... Lucas Roberts-Horton! As much of a moron as he was with the entire monitoring device fiasco, I loved, loved, loved him calling Chloe! It's a rare, but very nice treat to talk about Lucas without having to bring up Sami and/or E.J. Yay to that! Now, this isn't meant to be disrespectful towards Lumi Fans, but I'm beginning to like the idea of Chloe and Lucas. Neither of them are saints, but they share a little spark I'm enjoying. More so Lucas has a little spark in his eyes when he talks to her. It was great to see him act as the "knight on the white horse" instead of the nitwit sidekick on a donkey. Lucas has cool potential that is often overshadowed by his "ho-hum, poor me, Debbie Downer" attitude. True, the guy has a million reasons to be down in the dumps, but, again as Laurisa pointed out, he has a ton of things to be grateful for and why not add a new friend with possible romantic potential to that list? It might make him realize there's more to life then the stagnant drama he's submersed in now. I'm eager for this to play out and have high hopes for things heat up a bit!

Honorary Awards

"Hottest Hot of the Week"

The nominees are ...

- Lucas Roberts-Horton for getting his groove back (a little) - Nicole Walker and Ava Vitali for proving naughty girls need love too - Nick Fallon for continuing to stick up for himself (this time by yelling at Max)

And the winner is ... err, are ... Nicole and Ava. After several weeks of their newfound friendship these two continue to crack me up. From swapping drinks to rolling their eyes at Barry and Fabio's cheesy lines like, "Check out our equipment," they just have fun! And that's refreshing! A lot of times it seems like only the "good girls" can have friends and the "bad girls" are resorted to scheming together, but they just chitchat and enjoy each others company without ulterior motives, a great switch!

"Nottest Not of the Week"

The nominees are ...

- Dr. Lexie Carver for gushing and giggling as Dr. Dan saved the day - Chelsea Brady for deciding she wants to work at University Hospital - John letting Marlena walk out

And the winner is ... Dr. Lexie Carver. She's made "Not" before because of this, but she's still setting off warning bells. Haven't we been up this road of adultery one too many times with her? Writers take note - nip this one in the bud. It wasn't fun the first million times and it isn't going to be fun to watch this time. End note.

"Line of the Week"

The nominees are ...

- Sami Brady for her sly one liner, "Bastard," as John showed Ava around the mansion - Ava Vitali for nailing Sami's personality, "You're a little spitfire, aren't you?" - Max Brady for stating, "Maybe I overreacted," after blowing up at his friends - Nicole Walker to her new BFF, "Come on Ava, let's go raise some hell." - Nicole Walker for, "I wish I was there. I love seeing that stuff," upon hearing about John and Marlena's "break up"

And the winner is ... Max Brady. Maybe he overreacted?!?! Just a bit Maxie, just a bit.

Honorable Mentions ...

Kate got her own storyline that didn't involve her getting involved in her children's love lives and it lasted an entire week!? Yeah, that's weak, but it gave Dr. Dan another chance to save the day and Kate to prove how much of a tough woman she is - she took a power kick in self-defense class! You go Granny!

John testing colognes was pretty entertaining. I loved Sami's disgusted reactions, but even funnier was when he tossed the losing scent to Lucas. Very funny indeed.

Finally, it was nice to see Kayla out of the hospital and talking to Caroline. I love mother/daughter bonding ... even if it's when they're talking about their children dating each other. Well, at least Joey's doing better!

Parting Thoughts ... So friends and Days Fans, that's "Two Scoops" for the week of June 9th. Be sure to check out all the Emmy fun at SoapCentral and, as Old, Non-Adulterer John Black used to say, "That's a fact." As always, thanks for reading! Tony

Need more Two Scoops? Laurisa and I are always up to something, so make sure to check out our Soap Central Blogs for more ranting, raving and all-out randomness!