You only die thrice; The Bold and the Beautiful Two Scoops for September 30, 2024

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did imprisonment teach you nothing except how to impose your will on others? Did you dig up a dead relationship to try to perform CPR on it? Did you decide that, when it comes to dying, the third time's the charm? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Finnegan-Nozawa clan this week!

You see that, Scoopers? “That's” how long Taylor's got be alive! And it isn't long, my pretty! It isn't long! Taylor's not only in her third incarnation, but she's also about to take her third dirt nap—and the parallels to when she first arrived in 1990 are loud. Then we've got Bill bouncing from Poppy to Katie, R.J. having an unknown gripe against Will, and Bridget bringing in an Icelandic musician? If you're ready, let's Scoop about it!

DR. NO

Okay, let's get the ho-hum stuff out of the way first. Katie wants the newly returned (and SORASed) Will to work at Forrester. Why? Does he have related skills outside of being a rich man's son? Come to think of it, Will would probably only be a nepo baby at Spencer, too, and I suspect the choice between corporations is meant to drum up conflict between Will and Bill, who won't like any son of his working outside the Spencer umbrella.

As for poor Liam, who hasn't had a story to speak of in 14 months, he was relegated to giving love advice to Bill. The Dollah, with the scent of Poppy's perfume still circulating through the his air vents, decided he wanted Katie back. What, again? Can this man not be alone for even five seconds to give himself a chance to recover from that whole mess with Luna and her DNA tests, daughterly devotion, and non-daughterly kisses?

Going back to Will, he ran across R.J., who smirked at the idea of Aunt Donna trying to set Will up. The cousins rapped for a bit, with Will snarking how R.J. couldn't tell Luna was a Luna-tic and R.J. wondering why on earth Will would want to work at Forrester. When Will posited that he and R.J. may end up working together, R.J. did not look pleased. What is up between these two? They've never even had a scene together until now.

Indeed, R.J. is acting like he has a huge chip on his shoulder toward Will...when a mere nine months ago, it was Zende who had a huge chip on his shoulder toward R.J. Having endured that treatment, why would R.J. pass it on to Will? Not that any of these boys really have personalities of their own; they're simply malleable depending on what any given story needs them to do.

Now, I did like Katie counseling Will to only work at Spencer as long as it was his choice and not what his father demanded; cleverly, Will flipped it on his mom when Bill came calling, and Will told Katie to only go as long as it was her choice and not what his father demanded. Nice. But Bill attempting yet another reunion with Katie? It's just wrong on so many levels.

I've been bitching for literally a dozen years that Katie should never take Bill back—dude only locked her in a tower in 2012, knowing she was a heart patient, when she wanted to tell Liam the truth about how Bill had manipulated Liam's love life. That single incident aside, Bill was ready to trade Katie in for Steffy and then Brooke. I like the call-you-out friendship Bill and Katie have developed, but that's how it should stay.

Instead, Bill made another play, which Will interrupted. Bill took responsibility for torpedoing his family, which is commendable. But pay attention to the tell. When Will followed Bill's efforts up by asking if taking back up with Bill was what Katie wanted, Katie deflected and only said how nice it was to have Will back in town. There's your answer. Play it smart, Katie, and stick to your heart recipient guns.

THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH

There were some interesting blips in Steffy and Hope's predictable conversations this week. Steffy outright said she wouldn't try to parent trap her parents into getting back together, which is quite the one-eighty from when Krista Allen's Taylor first showed up on the scene. And Liam's ex-wives were able to talk about Ridge's effect on their mothers without getting too adversarial.

But if Steffy learned anything during her captivity in starvation and thirst, she left it sitting next to Luna's poisoned water bottles. No sooner had the gang assembled for the big Brooke's Bedroom event than Steffy warned Hope that, if Hope wanted to keep her line, she needed to steer clear of Finn. Steffy didn't even want Hope looking at him. You'd think the prospect of being crushed in a building demolition would have blunted Steffy's controlling bitch tendencies.

Then, surprise! Bridget showed up (where is her son Logan?) because she had been the one to arrange Icelandic singer Jökull Júlíusson's performance for the bedroom line. I thought Danny Romalotti's music was supposed to be played for that? I'm not sure what the whole point of any of it was. It's always great to see Bridget, but to just have her pop up for a day or two here and there is far less than satisfying.

As for Jökull, great, but why was he there? Sure, I didn't know who Daddy Yankee was in 2010, either, and there's nothing wrong with introducing a singer to a new audience, but at least we got the Brooke/Oliver mask boink out of DY. And like I said, Y&R's Christine was ready to have Y&R's Danny sign a contract to license his music to Brooke's Bedroom when they visited, so bringing Jökull in, cool as his coat was, seemed silly.

But for true out-of-left-field developments, the prize goes to Carter. I guess he's been single too long, because apparently he's been thinking about Hope...in lingerie? And he thinks Hope modeling teddies would help attract attention to Hope for the Future? Oh, if only Virgin Hope of 2011 could see Hope 2024 even considering it. Is her scantily cladness supposed to titillate Finn? Or are Hope and Carter going to get together now? I still wanna know what was causing all Hope's migraines. Girl ain't right.

LIVE AND LET DIE

Well, not long after Li dropped Luna like a wrestling champion did Taylor drop a bomb on Li that she had heart failure and was dying! Whoa, whoa, whoa—wait! So, we brought Taylor back—as a second recast, no less— just to kill her off? No shade to Rebecca Budig, but the show couldn't have brought Hunter Tylo back for that? Or Krista Allen, even? It's hard to invest in the potential loss of a beloved character when we're not used to their new face yet.

And then, I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now...why? 'Cuz she's dead! Yes, thank you Taylor Swift for unwittingly describing the fate of our Taylor Hamilton Hayes Forrester Rashid Forrester Marone Jones. Taylor already beefed it in 1994, and again in 2002, and that's not even counting her near death from tuberculosis in 1999. I mean, she's got DAYS' Stefano DiMera and As the World Turns's James Stenbeck beat.

Now, one major component of this story could make sense if the show would only mention it. Where was Taylor shot when Sheila's gun went off in 2002? (Mind you, it was an accident, unlike Steffy's shooting!) Ding ding ding! In the heart. Despite whatever magic Prince Omar's medical staff used to resuscitate Taylor before she returned in 2005, Taylor's ticker had to have sustained permanent damage.

Just ask Katie, transplant recipient extraordinaire, about what happens to a person when a gun goes off near their heart. Hmm. Will Taylor end up with her own transplant? Can she and Katie get group rates on anti-rejection meds? At any rate, Taylor hadn't seen a cardiologist (!), and Li gave her boo-koo referrals to specialists. Except Taylor thought she was special by opting not to tell her family about her disease and diagnosis.

Holy 1990, soap fans! You may not remember this far back, but it's on YouTube: when Taylor first arrived on B&B, she was oncologist to the O.G. Caroline. And do you recall how Caroline wanted to handle her illness? She wanted to keep mum about it. And how did Taylor react? By telling Caroline that she needed to be honest with her loved ones. What is this, do as I say, not as I do? Does Taylor need to refresh herself on YouTube, too?

Yeah, it's just kinda odd that Taylor confided her condition to a doctor only to swear that doctor to secrecy when she did the exact opposite over three decades ago. Unless it's just the reality of being in Caroline's shoes making Taylor see things differently, it doesn't track. But given the way the week ended, I don't think it's a secret Li and Taylor are going to be able to keep for very long.

SKYFALL

Taylor hung out by Steffy's mantel, staring at the pictures, when Steffy walked in. Only problem was, Taylor was crying, and Steffy thought she knew why. It had to be a guy! Possibly Ridge? Taylor pooh-poohed her daughter's formulaic contention and resolutely said she didn't need a man. She just wanted some hangtime with her family. Which keeps us away from more unneeded Bridge/Tridge, for now, anyway.

Steffy and Taylor talked about Phoebe, with Steffy remarking that her recent experience with cages had made her more appreciative of life. (Too bad it didn't make her less of a designer tyrant, as I told y'all!) Steffy was just happy she'd be able to lean on Taylor until she was old and gray. Taylor winced; you know characters only start talking like this when someone's getting notifications from the Grim Reaper!

And speaking of “old and gray”...another problem with nunuTaylor is that she's just too young for this part. Taylor should be at least 60—it was bad enough they de-aged (reverse SORASed?) Ridge when Thorsten Kaye first came on board, but it wasn't all that drastic. Rebecca Budig, wonderful as she is, feels more like Steffy's older sister than her mother. It's just making this plot twist harder to accept.

Another “things that make you go hmm” turn is Li and her heightened worry and concern about Taylor. Li was so distraught that Finn played Twenty Questions to find out what was wrong with her. Li has had very little interaction with Taylor—why would Li be so emotional about Taylor's diagnosis? Only thing that fits to me is that Taylor is Steffy's mom, and therefore, it'll affect Finn, but Li's sudden effusiveness for a virtual stranger is baffling to me.

It seems we are in for a Brooke/Taylor Friendship Redux, as well. I'd be all right with that—though I found Braylor's last attempt far too giggly and sugary. And I don't really need to see these ladies battling over their kids and/or Ridge again. When Brooke mentioned the potential pairing to Donna and Eric, Donna figured stranger things could happen; after all, Brooke and Stephanie had become buds in La Forrester's final days.

The Stephanie love continued in another scene where Ridge said he missed his ma every day. It's so simple to add realistic touches like that to a soap scene, and they're so gratifying! But forget Bill's Spencey senses—the Dressmaker's Ridgey senses pinged when Taylor started going on about how important it is to treasure every minute and stuff like that. I mean, it is, but on soaps, that's code for “goodbye, cruel woild!”

Brooke also, and separately, caught on to Taylor dropping hints like Hansel dropping bread crumbs in the forest. After hearing Taylor wax poetic about wanting Bridge to be happy, Brooke wondered aloud to Ridge why Taylor didn't seem happier about being back in L.A. with her fam jam. For someone who doesn't want anyone to know she's about to push up daisies, Taylor's sure being passive-aggressive about it.

The next morning, Taylor arrived at Forrester to bear witness to that day's Brooke's Bedroom brouhaha. Steffy was like, “Mom, have you been dancing with snakes again?” All right, Steffy didn't say that, but I was thinking it; shout-out to Taylor-as-Princess-Leila. Against her better judgment, Steffy set up a livestream for Taylor to watch in the office. Why didn't Taylor just go to the showing area like everyone else?

Jökull did his thing, and Brooke's undergarmented self danced on screens behind him? Did someone take inspo from Madonna's Celebration Tour earlier this year? For reasons I don't understand, Taylor left her video feed safe space only to lurk around the backstage area, like she did when, as Rebecca Budig, she first showed up in Monte Carlo. What was Tay-Tay doing there? Looking for the bathroom?

As it happened, Taylor made the scene just in time to see a command performance of Ridge and Brooke nuzzling and making promises of naughty deeds to come once they got home. It was nothing Taylor hadn't heard before, but just after Brooke left, Taylor clutched her chest like she was Fred Sanford in Sanford and Son. “It's the big one, Elizabeth! I'm comin' ta join ya, honey!”

Hey, I'm a '70s kid. Anyway, Taylor made a very dramatic slump to the floor, grabbing the curtain on the way down à la Janet Leigh in Psycho when Norman Bates brought her a butcher knife in the shower instead of a loofah. I'm guessing no one heard all the commotion except Ridge, who shouted Taylor's name and rushed to her side. And probably wondered how much he was out for the ripped-out curtain.

I jest, but it looks like we're not going to let much soap grass grow under our feet with Taylor's illness, because a mere week after we were alerted to it, Ridge is going to find out about it, at least according to spoilers for the beginning of October. Thankfully, that means Taylor won't have to try to copy Caroline and her self-sacrificing silence anymore!

What's got your heart thumping, Scoopers? Are you feeling the latest Taylor, and do you think the character should be back just to potentially die? Would you believe a Taylor death, considering how many times she's already kicked the bucket? Do you think R.J. and Will really have anything to be rivalrous about? Should Katie take Bill back or pull a Monopoly and do not pass Go, do not collect $200? And is Steffy's shrew routine old to you? Check in to the Soap Central message boards to submit feedback!

Well, whaddaya know, Grace Buckingham is coming back after two years. If you don't remember her, don't feel bad. Hallelujah, she won't be able to push for Zende and Paris to get married, which is all she did last time! 'Til next time, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

(For Adam-Michael James' books on Amazon, visit tinyurl.com/amjbewitchedbooks)