Happy is the bride the rerun shines on

Imagine a plot twist even the most over-the-top soap couldn't conceive -- we actually run out of shows because of a worldwide pandemic. How to compensate? Treat viewers to a walk down the aisle of classic wedding memories with Two Scoops' Mike!

Will your week be bold and beautiful? Will you try to escape a palace to stop your beloved from marrying someone else? Will you go up in a hot-air balloon for some ultimate social distancing? Will you tell your groom "Olive you?" These and more situations will once again face the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

Well, we are living soap history, Scoopers -- both B&B and Y&R have run out of new episodes from having to shut down production due to COVID-19. As if already living through uncharted territory wasn't weird enough! But this soap cloud turns out to have a neat silver lining, as it will allow us access to B&B episodes of the past -- and on our TVs, not just YouTube!

The coming week will see five classic B&B weddings, some more recent, some digging into what, for me, is the show's sweet spot of the '90s. So, since there are no new episodes to columnize about, I hope you'll join me in examining these unique unions and how some of them interestingly dovetail into current storylines. Well, where we left off, anyway. Can you believe the cliffhanger we ended up with?

I mean, I think it was just pure luck that the final original episode was Wyatt walking in as Sally and Penny were trying to spirit away an unconscious Flo. "What the hell?" Wyatt exclaimed as he arrived -- and cut to black! Takes me back to my first ever primetime season finale in 1986, when Dynasty's Blake strangled Alexis for taking over the Carrington mansion, and resort La Mirage went up in flames.

That was a very hard four months, waiting to see how the Carringtons and Colbys would come out of that when the new season picked up! And Flo's fate isn't the only giant question mark unintentionally left hanging over us. Did Ridge actually commit bigamy by marrying Shauna at that Las Vegas chapel? Where did Thomas run off to after being exposed at his wedding to Hope, er, Zoe?

I will delve into all that in an upcoming column, where we we'll take a look at the point in time at which B&B is frozen and muse on how the show could go forward from here. In the meantime, we have a literal handful of classic weddings to preview. So, let's put on our tuxes and bridesmaid dresses and tie some knots in preparation. Do you take these episodes to have and to hold from this day forward? You do? Let's Scoop about 'em!

MONDAY'S BRIDE IS FAIR LIKE SAND

First up is Brooke and Ridge's inaugural attempt at matrimony: their beach wedding of 1994, which saw a giant Bridge heart in the sand and Brooke riding up the "aisle" on a horse. (Not to be confused with the "man and horse?" ceremony stopper of 2009!) Hard to believe it took Bridge seven years to get to their first wedding when it only took them 24 years to have seven more legit ceremonies!

Isn't it interestingly full circle to be revisiting their first wedding when their eighth marriage is hanging in the balance? We're going to get to see the original Donna (Carrie Mitchum) and Katie (Nancy Sloan) stand up for their sister! And my tenth anniversary B&B book reminds me that we'll see Ethan Wayne's Storm as Ridge's best man! And Brooke's mom, Beth (Nancy Burnett), will be there, too.

Said book also informs me that this beach wedding has a Camelot theme. (I remember that now!) I saw this in its first run, and it was quite the production. But I've gotta be honest -- I've never really watched B&B for the romances. I know, sacrilege, right? Hey, they didn't reflect me, and I was ride-or-die for Sheila at the time. (Was she at this wedding? Will I get to see her?) It never mattered to me who Ridge was with.

And yet, back then, if I'd had to pinpoint a preference for one of Ridge's brides, it would have been...Taylor! That's why I find myself most excited about this particular revisit. As the Forresters congregated on that beach for Bridge's first "I do's," they all believed Taylor had perished in a plane crash. Actually, she had stepped off the plane in Morocco and been mugged, with the assailant dying in Taylor's Forrester original!

Taylor was rescued by Prince Omar and taken to his palace, coming out of her coma not remembering who she was. But as her memory came back and she found out Ridge was about to marry Brooke, Taylor was determined to go home and let him know she was alive. Too bad for Taylor -- by then, Omar had fallen for her and essentially kept her prisoner in the palace.

So, juxtaposed against Bridge's shoreline ceremony, we will see Taylor trying to make a break for it. Man, what a story that was, and one helluva way to write Taylor back in after Hunter Tylo had quit the show earlier in the year to film a mini-series called The Maharaja's Daughter. Clearly, B&B took its inspiration for Taylor's return from this movie! They even got Kabir Bedi (Omar) to costar with her again! I did not know that until right now!

But, yeah, that was when soaps operated at a more leisurely pace than today. Taylor was stuck in that palace for more than four months. And the Bridge wedding we'll see on Monday was only the first major event in that storyline. Wish I could see Omar bringing Brooke and Ridge to the palace on their honeymoon while Taylor was forced to watch them behind a one-way mirror. Who needed a gondola?

TUESDAY'S BRIDE IS IN A DOWN UNDER LAND

Full disclosure: this next revisited wedding gets a "meh" rating from me. Not because it was awful -- far from it -- but because a wedding from three years ago doesn't really register as "classic" in my book. Also...Leffy/Lope. By 2017, I had long since stopped caring whether Liam took up with Hope or Steffy, because his romantic foibles had taken up a lot of airtime in the years leading up to this.

As I wrote the first time, Steam's Aussie nuptials were sumptuous and beautiful, even if Steffy's in-character Zipline into the ceremony was clearly assisted by CGI. Hope was off the canvas then; it's too bad B&B didn't just let this be Steam's last wedding. By the end of that year, Bill had come between them already! Ah, Scoopers. Soaps just don't make marriages like they used to.

Back home, Wyatt was drowning his sorrows with instafriends Nicole and Zende (remember them?), because his loss was Liam's gain. I'm so glad these bros aren't fighting over women anymore. And it was hard to feel sorry for Wyatt then, because his marriage to Steffy had been doomed from the start. Granted, he didn't know Liam had been kidnapped by Quinn and hadn't really taken off on his own. But we did.

Ironically, this wedding was the final episode that had the version of the credits that had been instituted in 2011. The next day was the show's 30th anniversary, which saw a reboot of the original credits I knew and loved! So, there's a certain history in that. And I got to visit Australia myself in 2005, so getting to be at the Sydney Opera House again through Liam and Steffy was pretty cool for me.

The other thing that really stood out for me was that Liam was looking extra yummy, so I will rewatch for that. As we stand, Liam just remarried Hope -- or did he? I guess that's another cliffhanger; after Douglas officiated, Lope said they would make things official the next day. Here's hoping they did. As for Steffy, maybe she can go Down Under again and find herself one of those manly Manly Beach studs to move on with!

WEDNESDAY'S BRIDE IS A TOTAL VAL

Okay, fine, fer shur, fer shur, Katie's a Valley Girl, and there is no cure! Like ohmigod, did you ever think this total pizza face from Sherman Oaks would end up marrying this bitchin' hunk like he is sooooo buff! You may remember Stephanie always calling Brooke the "slut from the Valley," but "Valley" takes a little explanation for non-Californians. And maybe millennials.

L.A.'s San Fernando Valley, just north of the megalopolis, became known for Valspeak, or Valleyspeak, a sort of extension of California's surfer dude "dialect." Like, I never knew there was an actual name for it! Anyway, while the Valley does have its ritzier regions, it was/is also known for its more working-class areas, which is where the Logans come in.

When B&B started, the Logans were cast as regular folks to contrast with the rich, famous Forresters. Of course, now, pretty much everyone on the show is rich and famous, but, like, you know. In 2009, Katie fully snagged Bill in a bit of an opposites-attract relationship, but instead of fancy nuptials like her sister's, Katie wanted to get married in front of her old house where the Logan girls grew up.

This ended up being one of B&B's more charming weddings, one I am looking forward to seeing Wednesday. Sweet Katie (well, except for that whole getting knocked up by Nick while he was married to Bridget thing) softened newbie Bill's harder edges (well, except for his chest), both marrying in white where it all started for Katie. Poignant, affecting, magical. Can't wait.

However, it will be hard to watch against the backdrop of Batie's current state of affairs. If we had watched that wedding in 2009, knowing Bill would not only drool over Steffy just months later but also carry on with Brooke no less than three times behind Katie's back, most of us would have told Katie to run, not walk, to the nearest exit! Back then, Batie felt like a natural, enduring pairing. Not so anymore.

In fact, watching this will be bittersweet, being aware what Katie is in for. And, if, when we pick back up from where we're paused, Katie takes Bill back a fourth time, I will be screaming at the TV until my throat is hoarse. Katie, look back with us and say to your former self, "Like, ohmigod, Bill is a total fox but like such a skank he is like walking gonorrhea I am sooo shur."

Finally, this wedding represents a milestone for me, because it was on its heels I wrote my very first column for Soap Central! In fact, Batie's wedding reception was one of my first topics. Does that mean, along with this classic wedding, my column is also classic? Not quite sure how to feel about that one. I will get back to you! [EDITOR'S NOTE: Classics -- like Two Scoops columns -- never go out of style!]

THURSDAY'S BRIDE IS IN A HIGH LOCALE

Yesssss! More uber-classic B&B! Eric and Brooke's first (and really, only) wedding in Palm Springs! (Their quick 2005 union doesn't count.) Which was higher -- the hot-air balloon they honeymooned in, or Brooke's hair? Hey, it was 1991, and that's how we rolled. But this moment is rather the flashpoint of a lot of opinions and misunderstandings, and I'd like to clear up some of that now.

The big fury that lingers from this is that Brooke stole Eric from Stephanie. That was even Stephanie and Taylor's go-to on the show for years. But it's not actually accurate. Eric and Stephanie had already hit the skids from Day One, when Brooke was far more interested in Ridge, and Eric was dallying with Brooke's mom, Beth. Eric wanted a divorce from Stephanie long before he ever locked eyes with Brooke.

And as revisits to YouTube proved, Eric pursued Brooke, not the other way around. Yeah, it was still pretty skeevy for Brooke to get involved with her ex's father, and it certainly set in motion Brooke doing the marry-go-round with other male members of the Forrester family. But it's not like Eric and Stephanie were the ultimate happy couple and Brooke swooped in and seduced Eric away from her. Let's get it right.

Anyway, Beric's up-up-and-away ceremony was the only one I didn't see first-run. Wasn't watching as closely back then; sorry! My loss, because this wedding is not only classic but also legendary, and I'll be happy to get a chance to see it on TV and not as an upload. Another I-heart element of it is the fact that John McCook and Katherine Kelly Lang are our only two original actors left. Makes this look back even more special!

As with Monday's Brooke wedding, this one will again feature the original Katie and Donna. And Eric whisking Brooke off to a desert oasis (which I'm not sure we'll see) will have new meaning, because Brooke recreated it in 2013 when she was pregnant by Bill and wanted Eric to pose as the father. Whenever B&B mines its history, it's like a big plate of comfort food. And these nuptials will be like a veritable buffet!

FRIDAY'S BRIDE IS HUFFING AND PUFFING

I probably have the least to offer about our final revisited wedding, because it's Liam and Hope's 2012 go-round in Puglia, Italy. Look, the remote was gorgeous. Brooke and Ridge frolicked among the celebrated olive trees. Having the citizens of Puglia rally around Lope was a nice touch. But all I really remember is just how much I was burned out by the Leffy/Lope triangle by this point. Not really a coal I want to rake over.

It will be weird, seeing as how I've gotten used to Annika Noelle's Hope and will suddenly be faced with Kim Matula's Hope --she left us in 2014. It will also be a reminder of how much Liam needed to be slapped. One minute, Hope; next minute, Steffy. Obviously, this wasn't nearly the end of his game of Duck Duck Goose, but it was certainly its zenith. Oh, am I on that again?

This was also the period in which Bill was his most bastardly -- er, dastardly. Bribing a warden to break Deacon out of jail just to get him to come to Italy and stall Hope so Liam would think she jilted him? The forged letter from "Hope" certainly added to the effect. So, what did Liam do? He kissed Steffy, which his iPad magically videoed because he'd chucked it across the room.

And then this fool marries Hope moments later! You see why I'm not anticipating this revisit. Though Hope racing through Puglia to get to Liam was fun. And hello -- Deacon? I think three years is long enough for him to be in the clink for trying to shoot Quinn. We need some legit father-daughter time with Hope, and how hot would Deacon and Donna be? Yeah, you know it's true!

What other vintage B&B weddings would you like to see, Scoopers? I would love to rewatch Lauren standing up to stop Sheila's 1993 wedding to Eric, and Stephanie's 1997 ceremony with Eric that the original Sally Spectra stopped by putting a pic of Eric and Lauren getting it on in the minister's Bible. Come to think of it, since we seem to be developing theme weeks to cover the pause in original episodes, what themes do you want to have as we go forward? Say your vows in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column!

We're all still figuring out this unprecedented time as we go along -- but I promise we'll have some exciting columns in the near future. If you want to study up on the histories of your favorite characters during this break, check out our comprehensive character profiles.

We'll be back with more Scoopage! In the meantime, keep watching those classic episodes, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember: protecting your health -- and the health of loved ones and strangers -- is always beautiful!

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.