Shake the disease

Brooke is suddenly convinced Quinn is a plague on the Forrester family, not knowing Quinn slipped her some bad medicine. Yet Sally may be the one with an actual sickness! Take two aspirins and call Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you do the exact thing everyone was upset with you for doing? Did you spike more than a volleyball? Did you find yourself wishing you hadn't given blood? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Buckingham-Spectra clan this week!

And I am back, Scoopers! This after uber preemptions that played out like a bad soap opera plot. So, I return to find Brooke is at war with Quinn. Hope, Liam, Steffy, and Thomas are still doing their all-too-familiar dance. And Sally's sick? Are we really giving her a non-man story just to have her designing for the Grim Reaper? Some Valentine's Day! Break out the heart-shaped Krispie Kremes and let's Scoop about it!

AN APPLETINI A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY

Brooke was in Quinn's face again, castigating her for pushing Shauna on Ridge! Eric was going to see her for who she really was! Hate to break it to you, Logan, but Eric never saw who Sheila was until she held him (and you) at gunpoint, and he's got a blind spot where Quinn's past deeds are concerned. Maybe it's the Cialis? Brooke's rage against Quinn's machine seems out of nowhere, but I gotta admit...it's fun.

I mean, when was the last time you saw Brooke so energized? And I realize we're in a more PC time, and fisticuffs on soaps seem to be kinder and gentler, but dayum did B&B go there with Brooke vs. Shauna and Quinn vs. Brooke! "Bitch, you shoulda learned it from me!" Quinn snarled when Brooke said she'd studied under Stephanie, the Original Gangsta Granny. Good stuff!

"You came from the wrong side of town just like I did," Quinn spat. "What makes you better?" Um, only the fact that Brooke never pushed Steffy into a river so Hope could be with Liam, much less built a sword and tried to flay Taylor with it! "You're still the Slut from the Valley, just in better clothes," sneered Quinn. Oh, honey. Brooke's been in better clothes since she took over as CEO in 1993 when Wyatt was in grade school!

Yeah, I'm Team Brooke here. But can she really be this upset because Quinn encouraged Shauna to pursue Ridge? Could the fury be coming from the fact that Quinn herself swapped enough spit with Brooke's destiny that it nearly prevented Bridge's eighth (legal) marriage? Wish I would hear Brooke throwing that up to Quinn. But we did get one nod to history when mention of Brooke's drinking came up.

And didn't that just get Quinn's wheels turning? When Brooke took a phone break from ripping Quinn a new one, Quinn dumped some vodka into La Logan's OJ. And then Brooke drank it down! Mmm! So good for you! Only one problem. That juice was super watered down from the booze addition, and even if it wasn't, Brooke should have been able to smell her former favorite elixir before sipping. And taste it!

Quinn once again proved she was only Sheila Lite, because Sheila spiked Macy's drink 26 years ago (in real time!) and sent her spiraling into an alley with her boozing. Of course, Macy had been drinking for a long time and was attending A.A. meetings. Brooke? Dude, she was #DrunkBrooke for all of five minutes. Another example of B&B not spending nearly as much time developing a story as they used to.

Now, let's be real for a second. Alcoholism is a disease. I don't mean to make light of it. And it's not to say that disease can't kick in right away, like it did with Brooke. It's just that she drank socially for decades without it being an issue. And the show forgot Brooke's boozing as soon as she starting hitting meetings. So, while it's great history to revisit it, I feel like it doesn't have as much of a leg to stand on as it should.

YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG

Well, Thomas overheard Queric's quarreling because of course he did. Have I mentioned how sick I am of Thomas and his constant Machiavellian meddling? Oh -- I have? For a family who's dealt with a selection of psychos over the last 33 years, they sure can't recognize it in one of their own. Thomas got Quinn to open up about her battle with his stepmom and jaw-dropped when Quinn revealed she'd boozed Brooke!

That was going too far, Thomas said, clutching his pearls under his turtleneck! For real? You're the dude who terrorized your own kid to get laid and pretended to be dead to get Hope to feel sorry for you. And what would Emma say to her being left for dead getting compared to one spiked drink? Oh, Thomas. Take your not-goatee and hit the road.

But, since we have to have Thomas' evil fingers in everything now, he asked Quinn not to ply Brooke with alcohol anymore because it would just send Ridge to Brooke's rescue. No, Thomas thought he and Quinn should team up to battle Brooke. I admit, that's an intriguing team, and maybe a few months ago, I would have cheered it. But by now, Thomas has done too much.

He's so stupid, anyway. He keeps revealing his grand scheme to people! Now he blabbed to Quinn about how everything he was doing was to win back Hope. Given how devoted Quinn is to Eric, did Thomas really think she wouldn't just 'fess up to her man about what his grandson is doing? Thomas needs better allies, anyway. He recruited Shauna months ago, and that angle isn't going anywhere.

Meanwhile, at Eric's behest, since he didn't like "coming home to Fight Club" (apparently thinking Brooke's dustup was worse than Quinn and Sheila tearing up his house in 2017), Ridge decided to have a talk with Brooke. He admitted he shouldn't have kissed Shauna and really wanted to find a way back to his Logan. This was all well and good except Brooke looked to be wanting to find a way back to Absolut!

Doesn't that seem rather strange? Brooke guzzles down a third of a glass of vodka, doesn't smell it or taste it, doesn't even get a buzz from it, and now she's staring at a bottle the way Steffy stares at that giant blow-up pic of her and Liam. Brooke was so distracted by the ol' Smirnoff that she mumbled through a convo with Hope. I don't think unintentionally relapsing with a few ounces would produce that effect.

And by the way, why does Forrester leave liquor lying around when there are alkies on the payroll? Same for Bill at Spencer, who's only married to a recovering alcoholic. Funnily enough, when Brooke went to the high-rise to blast Liam for kissing Steffy a month ago (!), she had no longings for the variety of intoxicants Bill keeps on hand there! Does only FC carry the good stuff?

I'd love to see Brooke and Liam truly team up against Quinn. I mean, if anybody knows Quinn at her criminal worst, it's Liam, the guy who got tortured, attempted murdered, kidnapped, and Adam-and-Eve'd by the black widow of Las Vegas. Brooke only got smacked a couple of times. I never did like that Quinn ended up with a free pass for all her evil ish. Maybe now's the time for the piper to be paid!

Meanwhile, Bridge has been so busy with Thomas and Shauna and now Quinn that they didn't even mention this would be their second anniversary. Yep, 2/8/18, they got married under Stephanie's portrait, which apparently later told Brooke not to screw things up. Queenie should have had that ghostly chat with Ridge, too. Does two years mark Bridge's longest legal union? I'd have to go back and check the tapes.

CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BURNIN' BURNIN'

Brooke was upset that Liam's liplock with Steffy had caused Hope to dump him and left Hope vulnerable to Thomas. Amazingly, Liam took actual responsibility and said more than once that the kiss was on him. That's better than his "duh, I dunno" attitude after he dyed his hair and went clubbing with Steffy before he was supposed to marry Hope in 2012 (the second wedding that year, anyway).

Brooke was convinced that Thomas was the disease that caused Lope's nope. Where did she get that from? Conversely, how could Liam clear Thomas when 99% of the bulls**t he's gone through the last year was because of his honey's stepsib? Liam needed to own kissing Steffy whether Thomas arranged it or not, so that he did was a shocker. More so than Steffy attempting to rat her bro out right in front of him!

Yes, Steffy felt bad for kissing Liam and that it caused Lope's nine-millionth breakup. She thought her former/sometime rival should know there was more to it than what Hope saw. Hope didn't really want to hear it, but then Thomas showed up, showing Steffy multiple creased eyebrows. Steffy girl, you so stoopit! Why didn't you just get Hope alone later or send her a text?

Instead, Steffy did try to tell the truth, despite Thomas' presence, which I commend her for, and Hope blocking her with this long diatribe about Liam and Douglas and whatever 'cuz I tuned out wasn't really Steffy's fault. But come on. I need Steffy to pull a Mitt Romney here. Steffy knows Thomas still wants Hope, and if she spoke up, the whole family would know his "dating" Zoe hasn't changed anything!

Carter wasn't sure Zoe should be so confident in Thomas' affections. He'd known Thomas a long time, and the guy was "complicated". But did you peep that look Carter gave Zoe when he said she looked beautiful? Soo-WEE! There was more chemistry in that moment than I've seen on the show in a long time. Carter lookin' all stubbly and fine and what-not. I hope this means Carter might actually get some luv -- and a storyline. His drought has gone on longer than California's.

In the CEO office, where Thomas was designing and no one was CEO-ing (why does everyone just use that office as their own?), Hope stole glances at him, and this got Thomas' attention. He told Hope that she was inspiring his apparently stellar designs -- oh, oops, he didn't want that to sound like he was coming on to her. Right. After just having said with their newfound goodwill, who knew where "this" could go!

Hope asked Thomas the "What about Zoe" question. He contradicted himself by first saying he enjoyed spending time with her, but he had given Hope custody of Douglas because he loved her! He wanted the woman in his life to be Hope! Perhaps that's more honest than scheming, but it blows his whole I'm-over-you-I'm-dating-Zoe scam out of the water, doesn't it!

Zoe showed up for dinner plans and a night out in Hollywood, cabaret-ing with Thomas. And didn't Hope look like she had her own date set up with the green-eyed monster! Hope, sweetie, get your money back on the bangs and use it to buy a clue. You shouldn't for one second be talking to Thomas, let alone get torqued because he's out with Zoe. He's your psycho stepbrother, for soap's sake. Gross and double gross.

There must have been something in the air, because over at the cliff house, Steam was taking video with Kelly as the star. Can I just stop for a second here? Everyone keeps going on about how wonderful it is that Liam is staying with Steffy because Kelly has her daddy with her every day. Oh, yeah, and Douglas has Hope. WHAT ABOUT BETH?

She only spent the first several months of her life without her parents, and nobody seems to care that she's now growing up without seeing her daddy every day. I realize Liam can't be in two places at once. But if he really did this right, he'd live alone, because then visits to both his daughters could be more even. Yet this fool is living with the woman Hope dumped him for kissing. Kelly's pacifier is smarter.

Anyway, Liam was all gushy about the family he had with Steffy, and of course he flashed back to Aspen -- you know, that "romantic" moment that was orchestrated by Bill and Steffy while a conciliatory Hope dangled in a gondola. Liam wanted Steffy to know what was in his heart...and he kissed her! Didn't this guy just agree with Brooke's contention that he should win Hope back?

I thought Thomas' profession of love to Hope was another one of his fantasies, but that seemed to be real. I then thought Steffy was dreaming about Liam coming back to her, but he busted a move on her like he was Young MC. What is going on? And why do I even care? Leffy/Lope is so 2011, and if I were any more over Thomas, I'd be watching him from the top of Mount Everest. But here we go again. Again and again.

JAGGED LITTLE PILL

Wyatt told Liam that he knew his bro had macked on Steffy and got outraged about Liam doing so right after proposing to Hope! Hey, Wyatt, Bill has enough mirrors in that building for you to take a long, hard look into. What about you kissing Flo while you were still with Sally? The first time? I got no room for this hungry, hungry hypocrite anymore. Wyatt needs to take all the seats in Madison Square Garden.

Yeah, he had decided to go back to Flo because she was his first love, and she was this wonderful person and all that. "Yeah, except for stealing my baby," Liam pointed out. You know, because wonderful people pull that stuff. Wyatt pushed it off on Reese (why is Reese still in the credits? And Maya? And Xander? Liam does more video editing than the show) then played the kidney card to ship Flo.

I'm not here for you, Wyatt. You get no pity, and I don't want to hear your crap about hating to hurt Sally. You were an absolute s**t to her the first time, and you were lucky she took your ass back. To do her over twice with the same woman is...well, something your dad did to Katie. Speaking of whom, I think maybe Katie absorbed some of Flo's sneaky corpuscles in the transplant.

Why else would Katie decide to forgive Flo to the point she helped wreck Wyatt's relationship with Sally to clear the way for her niece? Yes, Flo stepped up and saved Katie's life, but that's not enough to redeem her in my eyes. I could understand Katie feeling different. But messing up Sally's life in gratitude seems like a very un-Katie-like thing to do.

Maybe it's something about being post-operative -- after her heart transplant, Katie betrayed her other niece Bridget by getting knocked up by Bridget's husband, Nick. Oh, those antirejection meds. I'm going to guess Katie feels guilty this time, because otherwise, I can't understand why she suddenly flew to Sally's side after running into the sole Spectra in the hospital.

I do not like where Sally's saga is going, despite it being different than her getting dissed by men and now by Forrester. What is up with that? Ridge, Steffy, et al knew what Sally's design style was all about back when Thomas infused $100K into the ailing Spectra Fashions (oh, how I miss that Thomas). Sally got hired at FC on those merits. Today, her work isn't good enough? I call contrivance on that one. Yup.

I wonder if Sally would have accepted Katie's hand to hold onto if she knew Katie was at least partially responsible for screwing up her reboot with Wyatt? (Hey, both ladies slept with him. Are they gonna compare notes?) Sally revealed she was there for some blood tests and helloooooo nurse! Dr. Pappas and all his bearded finery sat down for a consultation. Did something else happen after that? I don't remember!

But Pappas popped out after one episode, telegraphing he wouldn't be there for Sally's results even before his scene was over. We need to keep him around as a new man for Sally. Or Steffy! (Or me!) But, like Chris McKenna's hunky Dr. Hayden and Jon Hensley's hunky doctor that treated Steffy's 2012 brain injury, this doc is gonna be out of stock. Too bad, because Dr. P could be just the medicine Sally needs!

DOCTOR DOCTOR, GIMME THE NEWS

A few days later, Katie strolled into Bill's office...and called Sally. Wasn't that a weird place to do it? She wanted to check on Sally, and later seemed so preoccupied with Sally that Bill noticed it. Bill smirked that, with Wyatt now with Flo, Sally would soon find another sucker. This from the man who wanted Flo jailed for aiding in the theft of his grandchild? You can't tell me the Dollah Bill has come over to Flo's side.

Sally begged Katie not to tell anyone about her health concerns, especially not Wyatt. Naturally she did that with her back turned, and Wyatt walked in at that very moment! Wyatt's hearing isn't very good, though, because he missed his ex outright saying she was keeping something from him, which he dumped her for the first time. Wyatt was concerned. Sally seemed different. She had to let him in a little bit!

The only thing I wanted to see Sally let Wyatt into was another vat of acid in the basement! I'm sorry, but Wyatt should expect to be persona non grata to Sally after the way he's treated her, not offering up friendship. And, for her part, Sally was an idiot for taking him back moments after he ditched Flo for helping to keep his brother's baby from him. In that sense, Sally made her own mess with Wyatt.

No sooner did Wyatt duck out in his "monochromatic outfit" (ha ha, Bill, but since when do you know about fashion? You thought the company-sabotaging Dare line was awesome!) did Katie come in unannounced and uninvited. Sally's blood test results were in, and she was heading to the hospital to get them. Katie wanted to tag along. I'd really love a Katie/Sally friendship if Katie hadn't d**cked Sally over as much as Wyatt.

As Dr. Pappas predicted, he was gone, and a very nice female doctor was in his place to tell Sally what her test said. Well, my fever had certainly come down. This new doc wanted to know if Sally had any support system in place. No, Sally had only talked to Katie about her health scare and wanted to keep it that way. Do you mean to tell me Sally wouldn't call "Grams" Shirley? Or sister Coco? It's like the Spectra 2.0 crew never existed.

Sally went on this whole thing how she'd never dealt with anything like this before and excuse her if she freaked out before asking what the results were. And then...nothing! Gaaaaaahhhhh! I guess we're gonna hafta wait 'til Monday; thanks a lot, impeachment! I don't know what Sally is afflicted with, but it better be good. Especially if there's anything to the rumor that Sally is going to take more of a dirt nap than she did when the old Spectra building fell on her!

Hey, wouldn't it be a fitting twist if Sally got sick from inhaling all that debris? That's too much detail to ask for, I know. I still don't want B&B to kill off Sally. Maybe she needs a transfusion, and this is a good time for Macy to provide it! You know the O.G. Sally only pulled the plug on Macy off-screen, and this Sally herself indicated Macy was alive when she first arrived. I need something besides previews saying Sally has a month to live!

What's your prescription, Scoopers? Is Brooke headed back down Hangover Highway? Would Quinn reverting to her evil ways and scheming with Thomas be fun to watch? How do you feel about Thomas confessing his love to Hope, and Liam kissing Steffy without a witness? And do you like Sally enough to have her survive whatever ails her? Make an appointment with the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column!

Before I split, I wanted to give a shout-out to Eric Braeden and wish him a happy 40th anniversary on The Young and the Restless! I got to meet him once, at a party given when Heather Tom had returned as Victoria in 1997. He was as imposing as Victor Newman in person, sans the corporate takeovers and vendettas. And very, very cool for it. Remember when Victor kissed Brooke to help her make Ridge jealous? I do. "You got that?"

And that's all I got for you for this column. Valentine's Day is upon us -- if you have someone special to love, then do so, but also remember love in all its forms: to kids and pets and family. Most of all, make sure to love yourself. As for B&B 2020, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember -- no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful!

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.