Vat's all, folks!, or, let's do the time jump (again?)

Preemptions be damned! It's time to go back to the future in the latest Two Scoops column.

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you go on the ultimate acid trip? Did you think everything your son did was unimpeachable? Did you decide to look into an haute couture crystal ball? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

Holy causality loops, Scoopers! That's a kind of Star Trek Groundhog Day where one segment of time keeps happening over and over. I feel like we're in that now with B&B. Ridge keeps defending Thomas to Brooke, who doesn't buy it; Thomas pulls deeds few know he's guilty of and falls from things. This week, Days of our Lives made daytime soap history by jumping forward a year. Could B&B? Should B&B? Let's Scoop about it!

IT AIN'T EASY BEING GREEN

Hope wanted to get joint custody of Douglas, and she got it! Except she didn't count on Thomas wanting to seal the custody document with more than a kiss. How was it Hope seemed surprised? She already knew a couple of weeks ago that Thomas was thinking of a D-for-D arrangement. (Douglas for...well, you know.) Hope's expression was pure quid pro hell no!

Now, in the midst of all this, Thomas had conveniently stashed Douglas away somewhere within the confines of Forrester Creations...just as workers had conveniently brought in a vat of green, smoky acid to clean out washing machines we never knew the fashion house had. Big building, ain't it? It has an infirmary, a chemistry lab, a therapist's office...none of which we've seen in forever!

Well, you could see where this was going. Hope ran through the building, looking for Douglas, with Thomas chasing her, and they both ended up just above the steaming vat of acid. Thomas tried to bust a move...and Hope pushed him away. Over the railing Thomas went! Splish splash, I was takin' a bath! What's going on here? Thomas was just accidentally pushed off a cliff two months ago. Why the rehash?

Never mind that Steffy cornered the market on falling off of things back in Cabo San Lucas and Puglia. Stay in your own lane, Thomas! Then dude just floated up like he had taken the Nestea plunge instead of falling into hydrofluoric acid, which should have eaten the skin off his face pronto! I just found out hydrofluoric acid is an ingredient in Prozac. Maybe that dip is just what Thomas needed!

Mind you, there was some biz with the workers that involved the mention of there also being a vat of water. Granted, water isn't green and smoky (unless you're in Flint), but clearly, a door was left open for Thomas to, ahem, emerge alive and well. I just didn't need to see this two months after Thomas did his boo-hoo act in the hospital while recovering from his cliff dive.

Truthfully, this whole saga has gone stale. Now, Ridge and Steffy are wondering where Thomas is while Hope thinks she killed Thomas and wants to confess. That's where we're at, and it's all an offshoot of Beth being kidnapped and switched with a dead baby in January. I don't know how to get out of it. Wait -- yes, I do! Like sands through the hourglass, Scoopers...like sands through the hourglass!

Yes, this week, Days of our Lives did something no daytime soap has done before -- their overall story skipped ahead an entire year. (I specify "daytime soap" because, in primetime, Desperate Housewives created a similar buzz by jumping five years into their future.) And as I look at B&B, which has been in a rut for any number of years, I couldn't help but think...why not give it a try themselves?

It would be a refresh the show could really use! Think of the corners it could write itself out of, the new directions it could go in without having to start from any current point! Not that it would solve everything, I realize, and in some cases, you'd have more questions than answers, but that's what blank-filling "flashbacks" are for. The impeachment inquiry preempting the show is a great time to explore the possibilities of a bold and beautiful time jump!

TIME, TIME, TIME...SEE WHAT'S BECOME OF ME...

First, let's do some general jumping. In this B&B of a year from now, we have A and B stories, not just A stories. The cast is more integrated within those stories. We've got a little better representation on the LGBT front. And fashion, fashion, fashion. Less triangles, more relationship conflict from within! I feel like I'm doing one of my sometimes-yearly "If I Wrote B&B" columns. These are fun!

We whoosh ahead, and Thomas is just being released from jail. He did indeed survive his plunge into the vat (too bad he didn't emerge as Pierson Fod, but you can't have everything). It was undergoing a rinse-out, so whatever acid Thomas was exposed to was greatly reduced. But you see, while Thomas was hiding out, Justin and Bill teamed up to have Detective Sanchez reopen the case of Emma's death.

So, Thomas was arrested and spent a year in a prison hospital. There, he finally got the help he needed, including guidance from a prison volunteer -- Sheila! Having realized she'd gone down a dark path again, trying to come between Eric and Quinn, the notorious Ms. Carter went back into therapy herself and came far enough since her last appearance in 2018 that she could counsel inmates from her unique perspective.

Thomas is well on the road to normalcy again, because he's finally delved into what pushed him over the edge to begin with: he had accidentally killed his son's mother! Wracked with guilt over having gone along with Bill's lie that she was dying, Caroline made ready to kill herself; Thomas tried to get the gun away from her but fatally shot her instead. He comes to accept that Caroline's death was not his fault.

Taylor takes a shower, and into the stall steps a hunky new man! It's Dave, the police officer Brooke dumped for Ridge when B&B started in 1987! But, unlike Brooke's other past paramours, Dave has no lingering feelings for La Logan and is solely devoted to Taylor. They discuss their own engagement, and Taylor thanks Dave for standing by her during the discovery of her permanent medical condition...

...brain damage. Taylor's focus on the psychological reasons for her bizarre behavior (including shooting Bill) caused her to overlook any physical causes until a routine checkup led to her finding out her near-fatal shooting by Sheila and subsequent major loss of blood diminished her brain function; Taylor came to realize she hadn't been right since her second return from Omar's palace in 2005, and now she knows why.

Dave supports Taylor, who is on a regimen to help her live a more normal life again. Conversely, Taylor supports Thomas, who continues to be checked up on by Sheila. Meeting face to face for the first time since the shooting, Sheila apologizes to Taylor and tries to make amends for causing Taylor's brain damage by being there for her former victim as well.

Will comes home from school with a black eye. "You should see the other guy," he brags. We learn Will has turned into a mini-Bill and has been throwing his weight around at school, picking on other kids. The Dollah is now forced to deal with a junior version of himself, and it ain't pretty. Reminded that being abandoned by his father, Bill Sr., was the catalyst for his own bad behavior, Bill rewatches the DVD his pop left for him before he died and begins to wonder about his mother.

Hoping that examining his past will help him with Will, Bill calls his mom, Ruth Spencer, who flies into town. Ruth is, of course, played by none other than Elizabeth Hubbard (Lucinda Walsh, ATWT), in a limited role! But the impact isn't limited. Seeing her former husband's company and the way it's run, Ruth takes the reins and nearly topples Spencer Publications, running roughshod over Bill all the while.

Wyatt and Liam try to help tame their grandmother, but Bill has other problems -- Rocco Carner, Katie's first, and unrequited, love is back in town. Katie and Rocco's reunions are innocent at first, but as Katie starts to see how uncomplicated Rocco is compared to Bill, Katie wonders if Rocco isn't the better option -- after all, it's been over a year, but Katie hasn't remarried Bill yet. Maybe this was the reason. And streetwise Rocco isn't afraid to go up against Bill.

Pam and Charlie cut the ribbon on Webbers' Wonders -- they are finally happily married and have both quit Forrester Creations! Their connection to FC allows them to bake for civilian and celebrity alike, but Pam begins to worry when she makes unusual errors in recipes she's known for years. Is it a reaction to her bipolar meds, a byproduct of her long-ago brain surgery, or the early onset of dementia?

Pam's former co-receptionist, Donna, finishes training her replacement -- Emma's mother, freshly divorced Ulyssa Sherman Barber, who came to L.A. to help Justin find justice for her daughter. Donna goes home to find Jake Maclaine waiting for her in bed! Though Donna enjoyed living the life that being an ex-Forrester provided her, she finds that Jake has brought her back to her Logan roots, which fulfills her on an unexpected level.

Flasks bubble in the Forrester lab; we see carefully measured chemicals combined. Eureka! Brooke has discovered a follow-up to her once-contested BeLieF formula! Her creation, "Queen Stephanie," is the result of many hours in the lab, where Brooke has thrown herself into work to avoid dealing with the newest challenge in her marriage to Ridge: menopause.

Brooke confides in the still highly sexual Donna, whose own needs are at times frustrated by Jake's remaining struggles with having been molested by his Uncle Charlie (illustrated by appropriate scenes from 1990-1991). Bridge has long since settled their conflict over Thomas, but Brooke, the former Slut from the Valley, fears that her lowered libido won't be enough for Ridge.

Grandparents Ridge and Brooke arrive home to see Douglas bounding down the stairs! When Thomas was in jail, he received a blood test during a physical that didn't match up with Douglas; a DNA test was finally done, and it turned out Douglas was Ridge's son, after all. The aging Bridge has a little trouble keeping up with a ball of energy like Douglas.

Ridge signs a contract "Forrester" and tells Eric he's happy to truly be one of them again. During the DNA fracas with Douglas, it was discovered that Ridge's own test long ago that identified him as a Marone was erroneous! This leads to Ridge having an awkward conversation with Bridget, the half-sister he once kissed. Steffy and Thomas are both happy to be blood Forresters for the first time in their adult lives.

Sexy, cutting edge fashions sashay down the runway to booming music and swirling lights -- but they're not from Forrester Creations! They're from Forrester Millennial, the offshoot fashion house Steffy created...with Hope! Yes, the one-time rivals for Liam's affections no longer have any reason to fight, as Liam has truly committed to Hope, and Steffy has been dating several men for some time.

Hoping to find a guy who will be devoted to only her after her experiences with Liam, Steffy sees the studly Leo but spends most of her time with Carter. However, she also dates Eric Sharpe, who has come home to live near his pop, the paroled Deacon! Eric calls himself "Beckett" now, to honor his deceased mother, Becky Moore. Steffy finds herself in a bizarre love triangle when Beckett works to come between her and Carter.

The twist is, Beckett wants Carter for himself, not Steffy! After much push and pull, Beckett falls in love with Detective Sanchez, who returns his affections. Meanwhile, we learn Deacon is a free man because the Mexican authorities have reopened the case of Ricardo Montemayor, the former owner of the Hope for the Future diamond, who implicated Quinn in his murder via a video he left behind -- a video Deacon saw.

Deacon has to work against Quinn, his ex-wife and the woman he tried to kill once himself. The focus on Quinn's connection to Montemayor's death brings all her other former crimes to light, especially the ones against Liam, who must testify how Quinn kidnapped him and tried to kill him. Quinn spends time in prison herself until the Montemayor case is thrown out for lack of evidence. As for Deacon, he finds a quirky yet fitting romance with the rehabilitated Sheila!

Eric opens his door to find his usually jovial brother John in a panic. John begs Eric for help with his daughter, Jessica -- the innocent teenager Eric knew has gotten into porn! Jessica's husband of 20-plus years, Dylan Shaw, adds that Jess seemed fine until she got mixed up with the wrong crowd and took off on him. With Quinn in jail, Eric flies off with John and Dylan to find Jessica.

Though Jessica's family jets around the world in search of her, even picking Ivy up from Australia along the way, it turns out Jessica has been in L.A.'s San Fernando Valley the whole time, where much pornography is shot. Ivy manages to extricate Jess from the near-cult she's gotten involved with, and Dylan soon learns that Jessica never got over being raped by Sly, who took her virginity. Ivy gets to know her half-sister and brings her and Dylan back to Sydney with her to set Jess up with a therapist there.

In downtown L.A., a fashion team is hurriedly but enthusiastically putting the final touches on a mesmerizing and avant-garde collection...but not in a dingy warehouse -- it's the new Spectra Fashions! It's sleek and modern, and Sally is designing with Clarke and C.J. by her side! Wyatt is there, too; though Sally chose not to marry him, Wyatt bought her a new building to atone for having dumped her for Flo. Wyatt has decided to stay away from women for a while until he's fully clear emotionally.

The new Spectra has a friendly competition running with Forrester Millennial, but before they can get their show up on the runway, Sally gets a shocking phone call from the original Sally! The Grand Diva herself confesses that she never really took her daughter Macy off of life support -- Macy is alive and has just come out of her nearly 20-year coma!

The Spectra gang realizes they'd better find Thorne, and they track him down in Paris to tell him the news. Thorne (once again played by Jeff Trachta!) comes home to find a Macy that knows nothing about smartphones, YouTube, or anything else about life since 2003. With Taylor's help, Thorne tries to acclimate Macy to the present day; while he entertains a romantic reunion with Macy, he finds himself very intrigued by Ulyssa instead.

Thorne receives another surprise when Steffy comes to him, admitting she's been having nightmares about Aly. She is touched by his sympathetic demeanor, and she and Taylor sit down to deal with how they, as mother and daughter, were responsible for the deaths of another mother and daughter, Darla and Aly. Steffy is able to move on, thanks to Thorne's forgiveness, and she works Aly's shoe designs into Forrester Millennial as a tribute.

Maya has kept to herself, and neither the Forresters nor the Avants have seen much of her or Lizzy. Julius and Vivienne, who have moved out of that hotel and rented a nice house in the Valley (Julius now supplements Vivienne's salary from the DMV by working security as Charlie's replacement at Forrester), do an intervention on Maya and finally find out why she and Rick split up.

While living in Paris, Maya began to experience complications from her gender reassignment surgery that left her unable to truly be a wife to Rick; she set Rick free and brought Lizzy home to L.A. then hid out owing to a nasty bout of depression. Maya's parents convince her to step into the world again, and Maya returns to modeling at Forrester. During her first new showing in years, she collapses on the runway!

In the hospital, we learn that Maya has suffered a heart attack caused by her long-term hormone therapy, which created a blood clot. Maya bounces back as her friends and family rally around her; Karen, who is in town to help Bill deal with his mother, Ruth, befriends Maya, as does Beckett, who, along with Javier (Lt. Sanchez), helps Maya become more a part of the LGBT community.

Hope and Liam start planning a party for Beth's second birthday. Hope can't help feeling conflicted, since it's also (and will always be) the anniversary of Beth's kidnapping. As the day gets closer, Ridge finds out that Reese, who has been extradited to a Los Angeles prison, is already up for parole. Hope realizes she'll never feel truly resolved about having "lost" Beth until she confronts Reese.

Hope, Liam, and Steffy band together at Reese's parole hearing and passionately explain to the board how Reese's actions scarred all of them. They each finally get a chance to take Reese to task in person, especially Hope, who seems to become lighter as she gets her long pent-up feelings off her chest. Deacon is on hand to give his daughter his full support.

Taylor chastises Reese, as well, and apologizes to Hope for setting the adoption wheels in motion; Hope concedes that if she hadn't been so adamantly against Taylor being a part of Beth's life, Steffy would never have wanted to adopt in the first place. Reese's parole is denied, and we find out that both Zoe and Flo have left town. But not Shauna -- because she's gotten involved with Clarke!

The Forresters, Logans, Spencers, Spectras, Avants, and their respective mates gather for Beth's birthday party; Kelly and Lizzy are there, too. Hope arrives late but explains she's just gotten the most wonderful news -- she and Liam are going to have another baby! Liam jokes that they'd better get married again but is glad they waited awhile to really reconnect. Hope jokes that this time, she's not planning any "babymoons," given how the last one turned out!

And that's enough time jumping for now. What did you think, Scoopers? Would you like to see a B&B closer to what you've just read? If you could reinvent B&B with a DAYS-like time jump, how would you do it? Jump in your DeLorean and drive on in to the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column!

Well, for this column, we looked into the future. Next column, in two weeks, I'll be looking back at the past, since November 23 is my tenth anniversary with Soap Central! That's right, Scoopers, ten years of these columns. Factoring in SORAS, I've been doing this for 35!

All flights of fancy aside, B&B's following their own muse and vat's saying a lot, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember: no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful!

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.