Sometimes you feel like a nut

Ridge and Zoe did some competitive swimming in an Egyptian river as poor Emma got washed away for good. But Thomas is the one who's gone completely over the falls! Towel off with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you get more attention dead than alive? Were you as uncommitted to your breakup as you were your relationship? Was your favorite '80s jam "I Want a New Drug"? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Spectra-Avant-Buckingham-Fulton clan this week!

Holy unredeemability, Scoopers! There's a line soap characters sometimes cross, or at least tip-toe up to -- one that, once passed, brands that character incapable of reform in the eyes of viewers. Thomas Forrester not only sprinted over that line this week, he gleefully pole-vaulted and catapulted over it. All this while Emma Barber was mourned by people who didn't even know she was alive. Let's Scoop about it!

FROM INTERN TO INTERRED

Forrester Creations gathered in harmony to celebrate the life of...who? Ah, yes, poor Emma, the dancing, singing Hope for the Future enthusiast that everyone seemed to have fond memories of. Which surprised me, because we really haven't seen Emma since earlier this year, when she inexplicably auditioned for a reality talent show with Zoe, her not-long-ago romantic rival. Maybe that was her handwriting on the wall.

I'm not going to say Emma asked for it, because she didn't, but what is it with soap denizens ardently declaring they're going to spill a secret someone doesn't want them to spill? Seeing Thomas' intensity, all Emma had to do was say, "Okay, Thomas, I'll keep quiet" -- and then run straight to Hope. This is a regular plot development, but it always opens up a world of hurt for the potential blabber.

That said, I concur with Chanel -- Emma's death ride down Mulholland, a hilly, curvy road that winds above Hollywood, was wonderfully shot, with suspenseful camera angles and edits. It did seem the show filmed outside for this one, and Thomas being backlit as he stared down Emma's final destination embankment made him look especially sinister.

If only Emma hadn't been brought back from backburner purgatory just to get killed off. It was too obvious; how much subtler it would have been for her to make an appearance here and there over the past several weeks and then have her meet her doom. That also would have made us feel worse for her. Instead, we were told to feel bad by characters who barely had anything to do with her.

STALK SHOW

Rather than call an ambulance for Emma, who will dance no more, Thomas danced his way over to Hope's cabin and let himself in. "I thought you heard me knock," Thomas demurred. "I could have sworn I heard you say 'come in'." Talk about gaslighting! The dictionary defines that as "manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity." Tom-Tom's doing a lot of that lately!

Another thing he's doing a lot of is taking advantage of any situation to score points with Hope. And I do mean any situation. "Finding out" Emma was dead, Thomas made sure to respond to Hope's shock and dismay by wrapping his arms around Hope like they were boa constrictors. I mean, we're not supposed to like him right now, but Thomas is becoming completely unrecognizable.

How I'd love to see Matthew Atkinson's Thomas stare into a mirror and see Pierson Fod staring back at him, admonishing, "Dude, what the hell are you doing to me?" Granted, it's all in the writing, and Atkinson is doing a bang-up job with it. This just isn't who Thomas is. Then to find out Atkinson played a stalker on Y&R -- oh, so now we have typecasting on top of total character assassination.

Thomas wanted to sleep on Hope's sofa (is that what we're calling it now?), but Hope wasn't ready for a houseguest, especially after Thomas let a "we've all done things we regret" slip out. The intelligence that's been buried under six months of grief coming to the fore, Hope wanted to know what he meant by that. Thomas pivoted, though, and told Hope that Douglas had been praying for Beth!

Thomas' next stop was Forrester, where he discovered that the secret-keeping trio of Zoe, Xander, and Flo, who discuss nothing else, already knew about Emma's demise. Zoe didn't seem all that flustered that "little Emma" was gone along with her British accent, but both Xander and Flo smelled something that even a gallon of Poo-Pourri couldn't cover up. Xander didn't mince words. He was sure Thomas had killed Emma!

Thomas locked the door, which did nothing to substantiate his claims of innocence. He insisted that he had been nowhere near Mulholland, but that he had instead gone straight to Hope. Flo wondered how Thomas could have gotten to Hope's crib first if Emma had left before him! Thomas warned the group that they were never to talk about Beth in the building again. Guess that should have been a no-brainer, eh?

MEMORIAL DAY

During the next soap day, reference was made more than once to it having been "a few days" since Emma's death. Did we skip some time, which is different for the show? Well, that, or Pam went home late and stayed up all night prepping Emma's memorial service at the office (we don't do these in churches anymore?), where Pam tone-deafly made her lemon bars available.

And bless him, Aaron D. Spears made Justin's grief palpable, first when he told Bill about getting "the call", and then over the course of the memorial as he received support from one and all. "Thank you, Ridge," Justin offered. "That's really decent of you considering I dumped you out of a helicopter." (Okay, he didn't say that last part.) Funny how these guys all rally in tragedy, no matter how much pain they inflict on each other.

Everybody -- and I mean everybody -- got a chance to speak about how wonderful Emma was. Just one problem: we only ever saw Justin with Emma maybe twice, if I remember right. Sure, there was an off-screen birthday celebration. It was just a little hard to fully buy Justin's grief over a relative he rarely spent time with. And who's this sister of his who was also Emma's mother? And the rest of Emma's "family"?

Does that family include somewhat distant Y&R relatives Olivia Barber, Nathan Hastings, and Lily Ashby? Guess we'll never know, since I'm guessing these Genoa City residents also never knew Emma existed. Elsewhere, in a not-terribly-discreet corner of Forrester Creations, Zoe and Xander discussed the Secret of Phoebeth in the very venue Thomas had ordered them not to discuss it.

Zoe continued doing everything she could to get around Xander's insistence that the truth be told, which included kissing Thomas' apparently muscular ass. It's like Zoe's become Kellyanne Conway and Xander has become her husband George. Why is Xander staying with Zoe? He was somehow able to forgive whatever shady behavior drove him a whole country away in the first place, but now this.

If you had a bae who had no problem lying over and over to save her own skin (and okay, her father's), wouldn't you kick said bae to the curb? I'd like to see that; Xander deserves better, and it would be nice for Zoe to pay a price for her casual ease with deception. Unfortunately, given Xander's newfound #JusticeForEmma stance, I fear he may be next in the pushing-up-daisies department.

Brooke and Hope, however, were still chewing on the other tidbit Pam had catered in: the fact that Pam had seen Thomas arguing with Emma before she ran off and had witnessed Thomas going after her. Hope couldn't understand why Thomas hadn't mentioned it when he'd shown up at her place, uninvited. Thankfully, instead of falling into another infinite loop discussion with Brooke, Hope asked Thomas about it!

Brooke wanted answers, too, and did she get 'em. Emma had wanted to incorporate dance into another HFTF fashion show, Thomas revealed, and he'd pooh-poohed the idea. So, Emma bolted, and Thomas gave chase to try to calm the teen down. Wow, he put some thought into that lie, and so did the writers. It also hints that Emma was the only one concentrating on fashion shows at Forrester.

Either Thomas spent the night formulating that fib, or he came up with it on the spot once Justin divulged that the police had found Emma's phone at the crash site with a half-composed text to Hope! Now, this is where it gets interesting: the June 21 episode definitely showed Emma fiddling with her phone behind the wheel, but the June 24 revisit of that scene did not include any phone-fiddling.

So, did Emma crash through that guardrail because she pulled a Coco (remember her?) and texted while driving? Because the subsequent recap scene would indicate texting wasn't the cause. Speaking of the accident, we got another perspective that answered the question of whether or not Thomas had committed vehicular manslaughter. He didn't!

I know, it's hard to believe, considering his increasingly psychotic behavior. But, if his Vantage Point recollection is to be believed, Thomas was only trying to get Emma to pull over, and her flooring it to get away from him caused her to lose control of her car. "She didn't deserve this," Thomas murmured to Justin. "It was just a terrible accident."

I'll actually give Thomas the benefit of the doubt and assume he didn't kill Emma on purpose. But there's a disturbing family trend here, all involving cars and all involving Thomas and his relatives. First, Taylor inadvertently runs Darla over. Then, Taylor's daughter Steffy tries to protect herself from Darla's daughter Aly by swinging at her with a tire iron, causing Aly to fall and fatally whack her head on a sharp rock.

Now, Emma's gone, thanks to Thomas' automotive ominousness. And, as we'll get to, it wasn't even Thomas' first experience turning a car into a weapon. Does the once-sensible Taylor have some latent murderous DNA that's spent thirteen years coming to the surface? Or is Ridge, the son of sometime attempted murderess Stephanie, the one who's passing on these sociopathic genes?

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS...UNTIL IT DOESN'T

Even in death, Emma got the spotlight stolen from her, this time by Wyatt, who, out of nowhere, called Sally over to inform her things were officially over between them. Sally seemed shocked. Really? They only took a break two months ago, and once Wyatt told the redhead he had moved on to the blonde Flo, Sally should have clued in that the break was permanent.

Sally's also had two months to mull over the idea that she wasn't the one responsible for Wally's collapse; that responsibility falls squarely on Wyatt. Yet Sally was still whining about how she'd messed up, keeping Thomas' plans for Hope from Wyatt! Come on, girl, you're a Spectra! Great-aunt Sally would kick your tucchus if she saw you wimping out with a man like she never would.

Happily, some of Sally's mojo came back as she mocked Wyatt for "allowing" her to be angry about being replaced by Flo then as she warned Wyatt that the joke was on him if he thought Flo was perfect. That's yet another foreshadowing clue regarding Flo's part in Phoebeth's switcheroo, but I was glad Sally finally served up some sass. Too bad there's nobody left for her to get with, unless she wants to give Carter a try.

Proving himself the pig he hasn't really been until now, Wyatt sloughed off Sally's shade and offered a key to Flo. To him, it was the logical next step in Flyatt's relationship. "Wait," Flo suggested. "We're in a relationship?" You tell it, Flo! Rolling around in bed a few times after being apart since high school does not a relationship make. Sometimes that girl is actually smarter than all her extended family combined.

But only sometimes. After Wyatt rightly remarked that his beach digs might seem bourgeois after Flo's time in the Forrester mansion (duh! Why would she want to give that up?), the scene was set for Flo to ponder whether to accept yet another change of address, like when she hemmed and hawed over taking whatever position she has at FC. You know, where mama Shauna was on hand to badger Flo into it?

Right on cue, Shauna barged into Wyatt's house! Huh? We haven't seen hide nor highlighted hair of Shauna since she made an off-screen trip back to Vegas to grab the rest of her stuff a month or so ago. Why was Flo not surprised to see her? Not only was that not Shauna's house to walk into, it wasn't indicated that Flo had even heard from her mother all these weeks.

Yet we came full circle, with Flo hesitating about accepting Wyatt's offer and Shauna pushing Flo to take it. Naturally, Flo mused about a second and a half before snatching that key, and Wyatt again got piggy wit' it by blurting out in front of Shauna that he wanted to celebrate by shagging her daughter. Eww. What is wrong with Wyatt lately? Even Quinn had more decorum while whip-and-chaining Bill.

Wyatt ran out to get some bubbly, leaving Shauna to burst her little girl's bubble: Shauna was going back to Las Vegas? Double huh?? Shauna spent a whole month up there, packing, only to turn around and leave her belongings where they are? That's baffling unless Denise Richards being a movie actress might be a little beyond budget to keep on the canvas. Yet I thought she was contract. What gives?

Shauna felt it would be better for her to disappear, because every time she and Flo got together, all they talked about was Beth. Truer words were never spoken, Ms. Fulton! Yet somehow, Shauna knew all about Thomas and thought he was right. So, Flo and Shauna had kept in touch? Someone left a few clarifying lines out of their script. So, yeah, I guess Shauna is pulling a Reese and blowing town.

UNLESS WE GET A LITTLE CRAZY

While waiting for takeout at Il Giardino, Brooke ran into Bill and ended up confiding in him about Ridge's rationalization regarding Thomas. "You don't remember everything about Thomas," Brooke generalized, making me wish she would up and tell us why she's suspicious of her fellow Berry Island survivor. Well, wouldn't you know, Brooke finally did just that!

She reminded Bill (and us) that Thomas had set Rick's house on fire, then blew up Rick's car before chucking him out a plate-glass window. Bill even allowed that Thomas might have taken advantage of Caroline! So, yes, Thomas does have a history of "skating close to the edge," as Bill described it. I'm just trying to figure out how we got from Thomas happily taking Sally to New York to Thomas going utsnay.

Look, we're soap fans. We'll buy just about anything in the name of story. Someone has an evil twin? We're on it! Mind control? Check! Plastic surgery, brain tumors, bolting up alive in a coffin? More, please. Just give us one thing -- make it reasonable. We can handle a radical shift in a character if we are shown how that character made the shift. As it turns out, that hasn't really been a thing on B&B for a while.

Last year, Taylor returned, having slipped so far down the rabbit hole that she cold-bloodedly shot Bill in the back. The formerly sane shrink thinking Bill had raped her daughter wasn't enough to buy her a ticket on the crazy train. Now we're supposed to believe Thomas has followed in his mom's certifiable footsteps. Why? What caused the butter to slip off of Thomas' noodle?

This is information we need. If we're going to go to the Dark Side with Thomas, we have to understand how he got there. Nothing he's doing is making any sense. And if Zoe is dog-paddling down the River De-Nial, Ridge is deep-sea diving in it. The Dressmaker wanted Brooke to back off her criticism of Thomas and attributed whatever issues Thomas had to the fact Ridge was "never there" as his son grew up.

You mean like when Ridge and Brooke were raising Thomas while Taylor was "dead" for three years? Ridge overstating his absence during his son's childhood does not justify sticking his head in the sand the way Ridge is doing, especially since, when Thomas came home from the Big Apple, Ridge warned Thomas not to come between Hope and Liam.

Today, Ridge says "sure, why not" to the idea of Thomas being in love with Hope. Let's reiterate that Thomas and Hope were raised together as stepsiblings! Chanel called it last week: only a guy like Ridge, who could play tonsil hockey with Bridget, the girl he brought up as a daughter, would deem a Thomas/Hope union appropriate. I wish someone on this show would bring that up.

Remember the days when Ridge and Brooke hanging out at a pool meant a sexy scene? Now we have Ridge keeping his shirt on while Brooke mopes about Hope. This is what it's come to. I can't believe I'm actually missing a Speedo. Ridge wanted his destiny to give Thope a chance. I wish Bridge would get a chance at their own storyline. I wish we would get a chance at more than one story at a time.

For his part, Thomas did some push-ups, then pushed Douglas to be extra nice to Hope so Thomas could make inroads with the object of his obsession. Man, I hope Ridge turns out to be Douglas' father, because Thomas is no longer fit to be a parent, between menacing everyone and using his son to try to realize some sick fantasy. Hard to believe Douglas would be better off with a papa like Ridge, but here we are!

CABO SAN MALIBU

I couldn't help wondering if it was 2012 all over again, as sunblock got slathered, and Hope and Thomas readied to frolic on the beach with Liam and Steffy, as they did in Cabo San Lucas. Would Steffy fall off of something again every time Liam spoke to Hope? With Douglas fully coached, Thomas excused himself to rap with Vinny, a friend whom Thomas had called on to deliver him yet another party favor.

After slipping Thomas a mysterious bag of white capsules, Vinny thought Thomas was lucky to be living with his "hot stepmom!" Dude, that's so 2010. Thomas doesn't find his father's wife "taboo" anymore; now it's his father's wife's daughter. Though Thomas' one-time fascination with Brooke, including kissing her while she napped, is rather up there with Thomas' not-exactly-consensual romp with Caroline.

Too bad Brooke never brought up Thomas drooling over her in her case to Ridge. At the beach house, Forrester-Marone sibs Steffy and Thomas communed with their one-time paramours, Liam and Hope, fussing over all the kiddos in residence. Liam took Hope aside and questioned all her hangtime with Thomas then addressed Emma's death, which was a real party pooper.

Thomas repeated his lie about Emma being upset that she couldn't dance at the next HFTF showing. But Hope accidentally one-upped him for sheer shock value, bouncing baby Phoebe in her arms and calling her "Beth!" Sinister music hit every time we cut to Thomas, which was weird, since that was the one development this week he had nothing to do with.

Then Liam strangely asked, "What did you say?" when he should have zipped it. Hope realized her gaffe and apologized profusely to Steffy. Honestly, I'm surprised Hope didn't do this erroneous name-drop long ago. It tracks. What didn't track was Thomas trying to put Hope off of Phoebe. Liam noticed. "Are you for real right now?" the appalled Liam wanted to know. Phoebe was good for Hope, and it wasn't Thomas' biz!

Thomas conceded the point to Liam, but scowled. Really, Thomas scowled so openly this week, and so often, I'm amazed nobody noticed. Steffy assured Hope things were fine and that she only wanted Hope to heal; a nice touch would have been Steffy referencing her own miscarriage as a show of solidarity. Instead, Thomas worked the angles and forced Hope to observe Steam's solidarity.

"He's moved on," Thomas said, making sure to twist the knife. "You should, too!" Thomas should really try speed-dating instead of hurting everyone to win Hope, including Hope. And speed may have been what was contained in those pills Thomas bought. He left a margarita for Liam on the mantel and listened in on Lope's private conversation, scowling even more to hear Hope say she'd always love Liam.

In your face, Thomas! Undeterred, the demented designer continued splashing around in denial with Ridge and Zoe and busted a capsule in Liam's drink. Thomas then handed the glass to Liam and unconvincingly pretended to clean as he essentially stood there and waited for Liam to take a sip. Liam was about to when he got a notification on his phone? It wasn't a call, because Liam didn't answer one.

I guess, satisfied to know he'd used up 90% of his data or whatever, Liam stashed his phone and chugged down his doped-up drink. "Today it happens for all of us," Thomas thought to Hope and Douglas. "Goodbye, Liam!" Whoa! Has Thomas gone from indirectly causing death to directly causing death in one week? Is Thomas going to kill off half the cast like Gwen did before Loving morphed into The City?

How about it, Scoopers? What do you think Thomas' deal is? And did Emma get a raw deal, even in death? Plunge into the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"...What really ticks me off about the B&B writing -- for a short half hour show, the only thing the writers can come up with is discussions of someone else's business. They can't come up with original or any stories to tell for that matter and they instead discuss what has happened to others. That's why this baby switch story has dragged on for so long. Killing off a secondary character does not shake things up -- killing off a main character would...the show's title is The Bold and the Beautiful, yet, I haven't seen anything Bold in a long time - except maybe Thomas' determination to arrange people's lives the way he sees fit. Instead, a much more appropriate title for B&B would be Discuss Central." -- "Plamen"

This! Characters yapping about other characters' storylines has too long been a staple on B&B. Yes, a lot of you are weary from Phoebeth's saga having lasted six months, but look at it this way. When Sheila stole Lauren's baby on Y&R in 1991, that story went on for a year. However, it worked because there was constant momentum. People didn't have repetitive conversations for weeks at a time.

I suppose Thomas going crazy and causing mayhem qualifies as momentum; there's just too little of it in this arc. I'm also going to assume Thomas isn't poisoning Liam, but what was in that pill? Supposedly, next week, Liam wakes up having sexed Steffy! Thomas couldn't have slipped Viagra into Liam's drink; it wasn't blue. Cialis, maybe? Goes with all those pharmaceutical commercials we get during soaps now!

Well, Scoopers, when next we meet, I will have jumped that infamous chasm known as fifty. That doesn't even feel real writing it! Anyway, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember: no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, nationality, or age, we're all beautiful!

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