A puppy can't replace Beth, but Will would trade Thorne for a Dollar Bill

All dogs go to heaven, but one redheaded bitch was told to go to hell for insinuating that a puppy can replace Hope's dead baby. A dog can't replace a child, but a reformed dog might replace Katie's husband. Katie, beware: Donna is watching your man watching you with your ex, this week on The Bold and the Beautiful.

In life, there are the mourners and the replacers. Some people need to lament their loved ones lost. For others, it's easier to replace them than to sob over them. But what do you replace them with? Puppies? Money? People?

In Hope's book, puppies can't replace people, but according to Steffy, people can replace people. Hope Spencer refuses to replace her daughter with a "damn puppy," but Steffy is eager to replace Beth with a damn baby whom Taylor's "colleague" scooped up off the streets.

Will was happy to make Thorne his Replace-o-Dad when Bill wasn't around, but now that Bill is back in the carpool lane and buying out private arena booths for his son, Will is ready to put his spare dad back in the trunk. What's good for the gander is good for the goose, according to Will, who isn't hiding the fact that he wants his family back together.

What other explanation is there for Will asking his parents if they love each other right in front of Thorne's face? I'm not balling like Will enough to bet a hundred-dollar origami on it, but I think Will is thisclose to asking Katie to join him on that sleepover at dad's. Where does that leave Thorne? Maybe Donna, who constantly studied Thorne's reactions to the cozy threesome at dinner, might replace Katie at the neglected Thorne's side.

For Hope, Beth is irreplaceable, but Reese will happily replace Beth with a sack full of money. And anybody who hasn't figured out that Beth is the baby in Reese's apartment must have flunked Soaps 101. Hints about it have been dropping faster than flies -- from Hope feeling that the baby is still with her to Taylor sensing that Adopt-o-Phoebe was meant to be Kelly's sister. Only because she is Kelly's sister!

If you ask me, Reese would be better off telling Hope that kidnappers took Beth for ransom. Can you even imagine how much the Forresters and Spencers would pay to get that girl back for that wailing-ass Hope? Anything to make all this sobbing stop! It would be the gamble of his life, but it would pay off millions more than this rushed adoption scam.

Maybe Reese isn't thinking straight because the goons he owes keep threatening to take Zoe as payment. Is Mr. Thigpin really going to kill Zoe over $200,000? What kind of compensation is that? Maybe Thigpin is also into selling daughters for profit and intends to sell Zoe in the Vegas slave trade.

If puppies can't replace babies, Taylor and Steffy are sure trying to buy a baby like it's a puppy, aren't they? Let's get two scoops deep into whether puppies can replace humans, sisters can replace sisters, dads can replace stepdads, and whether Hope even deserves a puppy after the way she abandoned Bu the cat, this week on The Bold and the Beautiful.

In case you missed it

It all started with Taylor giving Reese her best "it's not you; it's me" letdown speech in response to Reese saying he'd invited her to his apartment to show her how he felt about her. Reese was all like, "Okay, but I asked you here to adopt a baby, not make a baby."

Taylor's eyes grew three times their normal size, and she kept exclaiming, "Where'd you get that baby? Whose baby is that? What are you doing with a baby?" And a white baby at that! There's no way the cops weren't getting called that instant if it had been real life.

But, alas, it's not real life. It's Soap World. It's a place where a beautiful, well-rested, non-lactating, skinny blonde waltzes out of the bedroom and convinces Taylor, a doctor and mother, that she, Florence, actually gave birth recently, and "the agency" recommended a gynecologist to help her adopt out her baby faster and safer than they can.

Why? Well, because babies are obviously as easy to trade as mutt pups.

I have one acronym for Taylor: CPS! That's exactly who she should have called the moment Reese started talking about facilitating an adoption of a baby in an apartment after he just delivered a stillborn little girl. Hope says puppies aren't comparable to babies, but I've seen more professionalism during an adoption at a husky breeder's house than what Reese has going on at his place.

With the husky breeder I used, I got to see the certification papers, meet the parents, check the bloodlines, review the rest of the litter, and get a money-back guarantee if the puppy died in twenty-four hours. What is Taylor getting? Nothing.

Taking Flo's word for everything, Taylor didn't ask to see one document authenticating Reese's right to even broker this baby. She doesn't know the father's name, where the baby girl was born, or if she has siblings. For all Taylor knows, Flo's reluctant boyfriend could be Flo's brother! Maybe this baby came from an underage girl who gave birth in the sex slave trade.

Nope, Flo looks healthy and trustworthy to Taylor. Plus, the baby is just so precious! She'll fit right in with the family. Who knows if she'll mysteriously suffer crib death in a week because neither Taylor nor Reese know if this child has any allergies or medical issues. If this baby truly is Beth, she will definitely be allergic to Steffy's breast milk. I can tell you that right now -- no Logan girl should feed off a Hayes teat.

Steffy was hesitant about hopping on the adoption train, but believing that she's every woman, she decided to do it with Liam's blessing. She even asked Liam to go with her and see the baby. Of course, forgetting what an emotional wreck he's married to, he agreed to go. He even said it was fitting that he'd be there to meet Beth's replacement.

And make no mistake; it is a replacement. Steffy said as much when Hope planned to keep Beth away from Taylor. Steffy said she'd wanted the sister for Kelly to be Beth, but if Hope wouldn't cooperate, Steffy was still gonna get a Phoebe for Kelly. Liam said that Beth being gone didn't mean Kelly should be deprived of a sister.

Um, yeah, that's not how life works. Three things kids ask for that they probably won't get are a pony, a pet, and a sibling. I can understand buying the child a dog or a pony, but I want to know who the hell goes, "Let's go baby shopping. My kid deserves a sister!" And isn't getting an Adopt-o-Phoebe just Steffy's unhealthy way of reliving her own childhood?

Liam thinks Hope will totally understand Steffy's creepy need to give Kelly the sister Steffy was robbed of. After all, Kelly lost something, too, when Beth died -- even though Kelly will never know what that loss feels like because she never knew she had a sister in the first place. While Steffy's busy making sure Kelly isn't deprived of sisterhood, Steffy ought to adopt Kelly a six-year-old of her very own to make up for the big sister Kelly also has no idea she lost.

I don't even want to delve into the fact that Steffy wants to name the baby Phoebe. Can the writers get original with the names? I mean, come on. There are millions of names to choose from, but we have double the Carolines, quadruple Williams, and two babies named Elizabeth. We also have double the Sallys, Stephanies, and Ridges, and triple Erics if you count Little E.

Back to Liam's idea that Hope will bless this whole replace-o-sister adoption for Kelly. After witnessing the reaction Hope had to the puppy, I think Liam needs to rethink telling Hope that he's going baby shopping with Steffy.

Hope wants to know what is wrong with Sally for bringing her a "damn puppy" and thinking it will replace Beth, but I want to know what is wrong with Hope for going off on anyone holding such an adorable "damn puppy!" And don't be damning puppies, Hope, just because you lost your baby. Animals are innocent.

When my first husky died, I couldn't make it through without a new one. In fact, I wound up with two. I started looking the week the first one died, and the pups I selected saved my life! Yes, I loved my "damn" husky that much! I was wailing like Hope until I had two busybody puppies peeing all over everything and trying to eat anything in sight. Because of them, I had to turn my attention back to the living and back to myself.

And that's exactly what Hope needs -- something to love, something to care for, and something to distract her from her pain. Even if it isn't a puppy, Hope needs a better place to put all of her love and motherly energy than into a crumpled-up sonogram photo. She'll wear the ink off the thing with the way she's clutching it and crying on it like it's a hanky.

Hope knows that Sally didn't mean for the puppy to replace Beth. Hope just fears that the puppy would make her -- for one second -- feel alive again. Hope wants to be as dead as she believes her daughter is. Anyone who has suffered a deep loss knows how that feels. Cutting people off and blotting out anything pleasurable keeps one from feeling guilty about living when someone or something significant is no longer in one's life. But the coping mechanism doesn't work because life always finds a way, and once life catches up to you, you'll be sorry for everything you missed out on while you were in your self-made prison.

Sally was sorry she brought the puppy and said she should have checked with Liam first. Sally just thought that Hope, an animal lover, would understand the healing power of animals. Oh, somebody told you wrong, Sally. Somebody told you wrong.

First, Liam is the animal lover, not Hope. Liam is likely the reason Sally volunteered at the shelter to begin with. Second, Sally damn sure should have talked to Liam about the puppy first. He would have told her that Hope can't care for a pet for more than three days before shoving it off on someone else.

Before Hope gets all self-righteous on Sally about comparing a baby to a puppy, I just have two words for Hope: Where's Bu? How do we even know Hope and Liam can take care of a human baby after whatever became of Bu? Hope, you're my girl and all, but #WheresBu?

Hope can't tell us where Bu is, but at least she finally remembered that she had a miscarriage before Beth. She told Wyatt that he knew what it was like, and the only thing that could replace the hole in her heart was the baby. Poor Wyatt. He said he hadn't wanted to bring up their loss. I wouldn't, either, Wyatt. Not after Hope left the country on him, wouldn't grieve with him when he flew to her, and eventually divorced him.

Wyatt should advise Liam to get Bill to pull some strings to get Hope on the no-fly list with TSA. If Liam asks why, Wyatt should say, "Just trust me, Bro." Liam should already know, though, because Steffy fled the country on him, too, after a miscarriage.

Maybe before adopting, Steffy ought to ask Kelly's uncle about the joys of being an only child -- the only underage child, that is. It's virtually like being an only child because Will isn't being raised with a sibling to compete with. Will gets one-hundred percent of the time, attention, love, money, and possessions from his parents and stepfather. So much parental support is lavished upon him that he can afford to throw his stepfather's support away like scraps from his dinner plate.

In case you didn't know, Bill has changed the daddy game. Like hot McDonald's fries on a White House silver platter, Katie is um-um, loving it! Thorne isn't, though.

While Bill picks up Will from practice, helps him with his homework, and gives Katie compliments and expressions of love right in Thorne's face, all Thorne does is smile distantly and take it like a jilted stepdad when Will rejects their skating plans for a sleepover with Bill. It was satisfying for Thorne to watch Will turn from Bill, but parental rejection is on the other foot.

Like a super predator, Donna picked up Thorne's wounded scent. She tracked it during a home-cooked dinner Will invited Bill to at the last minute and watched Thorne suffer silently as Katie joked with Bill and Will on the opposite side of the table from Donna and Thorne.

Katie knows she better watch her man. How can she be so dumb as to let another of her sisters get that close to her husband? Donna was studying the way Katie fit in easily with Bill and Will and calculating the likelihood of a reunion that would leave Thorne in need of a good blonde.

Katie, Bill, and Will carried on together so much at dinner that night, it seemed like Thorne and Donna were watching the Spencer Family Show on demand. Katie finally included Thorne in the conversation, and she stated that she loved him. "Yeah, but you love Dad, too, right?" Will quickly asked.

Oh, hell. Here we go. Will is going to be a more brazen matchmaker than his cousin R.J. Donna's eyes kept flashing to Thorne every time Will made a comment like that or when it seemed that Bill and Katie were a little too cozy on their side of the table with Will. I wish Donna could have taken a picture of Thorne watching the threesome and texted it to Hope with the message, "Your future if you keep sharing your hubby with Steffy."

Donna felt so bad for Thorne that she began commenting about what a good husband he was. She hoped she'd be lucky to have a husband like him someday. Donna already had Thorne as a husband, but maybe she'll get a second shot at being a Forrester if Katie keeps blinking those long lashes of hers at Bill like she has been. Fatherhood turns Katie on, apparently.

Will seems to want his family back together. For that to happen, Thorne has to go. We've seen what a little terror Will can be when he turns against someone, so good luck, Thorne. Will is cute and everything, but the boy has no filter, as evidenced by him ditching his plans with Thorne to spend the night with Bill and by Will asking if his mom loved his dad right in front of Thorne.

What's your opinion? Do you think Katie will have to set Will straight about her and Bill the way that Brooke had to set Bill straight about her and Bill? Or will Katie drift closer to her family with Bill, allowing Donna to swoop in with lingerie for the marriage kill?

In a look ahead: Taking Risks

In next week's preview, Taking Risks, Thorne warns Katie that opening up one's heart can be dangerous, and love is a risk. Is Thorne warning her about getting closer to Bill, or is Thorne realizing what an idiot he was for thinking he could be forever with a woman who so flippantly threw away her last engagement to be with boring, old him?

The video also features Flo, who is no longer willing to go with the flow anymore. Florence demands to know how Reese wound up with that baby. Reese tells her that his daughter's life depends upon what he does next. If he does what I think he's gonna do, he'll be in jail the moment Taylor and Steffy find out that Adopt-o-Phoebe is really Beth.

In other spoiler news, Hope lashes out at Liam, who she thinks is unable to feel the true loss of their daughter because he has Kelly. Hope, don't hate on Liam because he knows how to utilize grieving tools. You should have taken the puppy, Hope. You should have taken the puppy.

Honestly, though. Can you just imagine how abandoned Hope will feel when Liam is over at the cliff house, bonding with two baby girls?

Danger lurks nearby as Zoe, Emma, and Tiffany audition for a talent show. Zoe's a painter. Emma's a dancer. What kind of talent show is this? I can't wait to sprain my extraoculars, rolling my eyes at this little plot. Just let the brutes take Zoe and sell her already!

Let us know what you think of Reese entering the baby trade to save his daughter. Are Steffy and Taylor goofy enough to buy this baby without an independent investigation of the baby mama? Will Hope go crazy enough to rock that sonogram photo to sleep? Was Sally really insensitive to bring a puppy to Hope, or is Hope making best friends with her pain?

Surely you have an opinion about Donna eyeing Thorne. Is she on the prowl or being a concerned sister-in-law? Poor Thorne. He sure got in over his head in thinking that he could compete with Bill Spencer for Father of the Year in Will's eyes.

Until we scoop again, just remember: if you decide to compete with Dollar Bill for Will's affections, your hundred-dollar origami game had better be bold and beautiful, baby!

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