A little brother by any other name is just as sneaky

Bill thinks one can start to believe his own lies, but can Thorne lie himself into triumph over Ridge? Some people were too sexy for the office, and we're handing out two scoops worth of citations for harassment violations, this week on B&B.

Ridge might be Stephanie's favorite, but Thorne got a corner piece lemon bar from Pam. Can't that be enough for Thorne? Nope! Thorne wants to have his corner lemon bar and Brooke, too. Thorne thinks Brooke needs space from Ridge, but I think Thorne's the one who wants the space, so he can wedge himself in between Ridge and the sexiest woman Ridge has ever seen.

Is Brooke's boss allowed to call her the sexiest woman he's ever seen, or is Ridge playing with sexual misconduct fire by blending work and pleasure? Everybody's doing it, even the models, who treated Thorne like a sexy side of tofu. In the spirit of #metoo, some characters are getting citations for romantic misconduct in the office.

Meanwhile, it's only a matter of time before Steffy is confessing, holding a pregnancy test, or holding a pregnancy test while confessing. Let's get two scoops deep into the shenanigans this week on the Bold and the Beautiful.

In case you missed it

This week was one long day and started last week sometime. If I wasn't sitting in the dark with no Internet access in the middle of a snowstorm, I could look it up and tell you just what day it started, but alas, my candle has no Wi-Fi. This Two Scoops is coming straight from memory, and I hope I have a better one than Thorne and Eric about who did what and who stole whom from whom in the Forrester dynasty.

If I could guess what time of day it was when this week started, I'd say close to lunchtime. This day was so long that Brooke had two lunches. The first was with Thorne, which Ridge interrupted to take her to a "working lunch" with him. The thing was -- I could have sworn those two had just had a working breakfast. By working, I mean, Ridge was working her over about playing hooky in Venice, but she declined.

After second lunch, Ridge took Brooke to the steam room for a little "Kissy, kissy, I promise not to be pushy." From there, Thorne followed her home like a stray puppy, only to have Ridge interrupt again. Ridge wound up flat on his keister, staring up at Thorne, who's had enough of Ridge's bullying. Ironically, Thorne accuses Ridge of bullying when Thorne flew to town with a vendetta against Ridge, who didn't realize he and "little brother" still had beef!

Thorne appealed to Eric and Brooke to turn against Ridge -- I mean, stand up to Ridge -- so that Thorne can fulfill his desires to become a designer, have Brooke -- I mean, be friends with Brooke -- and prove that he isn't second-best to his brother -- I mean, half-brother. Yeah, that's right. The Marone blood is apparently still a thing, and even with Stephanie's death, Eric has not forced his sons to put it to rest.

Over in Spencer Land, being a Spencer for a day is getting tougher by the minute. Bill spent almost every waking second, thinking about how good it felt to bump uglies with that fine-ass daughter-in-law of his. Meanwhile, Steffy was starring in her own Tale-Tell Heart while Liam played charades to figure out what she was sobbing about.

By the end of the workday, Liam had gathered enough clues from Quinn to guess that "shower, unmade bed, and guesthouse" had something to do with Steffy's emotional mystery. If he'd just remember the very first clue Steffy gave him, which was that it has to do with his father, then this game would be over already.

Yes, you heard me. Quinn gave Liam the clues, meaning Quinn and Liam were alone together in an office, having a civil -- and dare I say pleasant? -- conversation. These two are living proof that people and families can get past anything, and I do mean anything.

The only enemy Quinn can't find civility with is Sheila, who amused herself by annoying Quinn as Quinn waited for a takeout order at Il Giardino. Quinn didn't know that Sheila had just turned Thorne into a ticking time bomb, ready to explode with knowledge of Ridge and Quinn's "affair."

Quinn unwittingly set a time bomb of her own inside Liam when she insisted that she'd found Steffy's bracelet in the guesthouse, along with a used bed and shower. Steffy had better feel lucky that Quinn hadn't inspected the trash cans and found a condom wrapper. Or maybe Quinn did inspect the trash cans, and there was no condom wrapper because...well, you know.

Thorne took Sheila's gossip about Ridge's indiscretion straight to Eric, who hadn't wanted Thorne to know about it because it would spark another family feud. It hadn't been easy for Eric to make peace with Ridge, but Thorne urged Eric to be mad as hell about it all over again.

Thorne pounded the hate drum at Brooke's house, too. He wanted to defend Brooke's honor, but Brooke was like, "I can take care of myself." Thorne persisted with the idea that Ridge wouldn't change and didn't know the meaning of the word "commitment." Not like Thorne did.

Not like Thorne, who'd fax-divorced Macy to try to hook up with Taylor. Not like Thorne, who'd tried to pass Thomas off as his own son. And not like Thorne, who'd slept with Macy's friend, Darla Einstein.

Thorne had done some soul-searching and thought of who'd been there for him in his life. Brooke was at the top of his list. He said they'd had fun, even when they were married. Hey, Thorne, overhearing Brooke, your wife, say Ridge would always be her great love was so much fun! Remember that? Thorne needs to cue up the flashback of that moment because, after all his scheming and shoving, Brooke will choose Ridge like she always does.

I've got some further advice for Thorne. Slamming Ridge to the ground isn't the way to prove that one is a man. It definitely isn't the way to Brooke's heart.

Thorne's manhood isn't the only thing making a comeback. In the midst of the real-life #metoo firestorm, the steam room at Forrester is back in business. Additionally, the models are making overt passes at Thorne. This week, I'm handing out some romantic harassment citations and asking The Bold and the Beautiful to think about the messages they send about attraction in the workplace.

It's all fun and games until someone catches a case

The Bold and the Beautiful is a soap. It's fiction and designed for our entertainment. I just wonder if we are really entertained by watching people sexually harass each other in the workplace at Forrester?

Maybe I'm overly aware of the epidemic because it's a hot topic in the news, but if one can lose a job over a misplaced hand for a photo, should B&B be more cognizant of sexual innuendos and appropriateness? If we want this type of harassment to stop, we might need to think about how we reflect it in our entertainment.

While we can't solve the issue by changing just one soap, we can hand out some romantic misconduct citations to a few well-deserving Los Angeles offenders.

Models cited for gawking and giggling like school girls

When Thorne arrived at the office, the models cooed and swooned at the sight of him, giggling to themselves about him being in the building and asking him not to be a stranger. Thorne played along, and Eric told him to stop it; however, Ivy and Quinn were promising their models the chance to show off jewelry in front of Thorne.

Every single one of them gets romantic misconduct tickets for turning Thorne, who's serious about his career and designing, into a fresh, sexy hunk of man meat for the Forresters to pimp out to the models. They'd claim it's all harmless fun -- until there are consequences.

It's not fun when you're Thomas and do something in Paris that Ridge claims they had to cover up. It's not fun when you're Charlotte, and you got used by Thomas but never promoted higher than intern. Or when you're Aly, and you just heard Wyatt joking about hitting the Mile-High Club with Hope on a business trip. I don't recall Taylor laughing when a lingerie-clad Brooke spilled out of the Forrester elevator on top of Ridge, either.

The person who laughed least about romantic harassment at work was Rick, who couldn't get out of the steam room fast enough when Maya came on to him while he was married to Caroline. And when Rick saw Ridge making out with Caroline in the design office, the bullets went flying.

Speaking of Ridge and the steam room, if that hot box could talk, it would put Ridge away for life.

Ridge cited for using his position as Brooke's boss

This week, Ridge used his position of power over Brooke so much that I thought she would hire Carter by lunchtime to start a lawsuit. But when Brooke had cozy baby talk and smooches with him in the steam room, I had to wonder if he was really pressuring her or if this was just a part of their strange courtship.

You know -- Brooke acts annoyed, and Ridge bulldozes her into acceptance. Sometimes, the roles get reversed. Ridge acts annoyed, and Brooke bulldozes him into acceptance. Eric thought it was just part of the Bridge mating ritual, but because of Thorne, Eric began to question whether Ridge was bullying Brooke back into a relationship she's outgrown.

Ridge showed up at her house in the morning to talk her into playing hooky in Venice. He gets a citation for saying he'd put a word in with her boss so she could get the time off. Brooke didn't decline. She just said she was sorry. He tried to talk her into dinner, and that's when he learned that Thorne was staying at her house and cooking her dinner in exchange for rent.

It didn't sit well with Ridge, who probably was mad that he hadn't thought of it first instead of sleeping out of his car until Thomas moved to New York. Brooke said she'd offered the stay to Thorne, and Ridge had to wonder why he hadn't gotten the offer.

Ridge wound up busting up Thorne and Brooke's lunch at Il Giardino to pull Brooke into a supposed business lunch with him in the CEO's office. Ridge, Brooke didn't want to go to lunch with you in Venice. Why the hell do you think she wanted to stare at wood walls for lunch when she'd been eating in the Il Giardino garden?

Why did Brooke go with Ridge back to the office? Was it because he is her boss, or is it because she likes this kind of attention from Ridge? Maybe it's both, but I'm giving Ridge another citation just in case.

Ridge racked up his third citation by taking Brooke to the steam room as a "surprise." He claimed it wasn't scandalous because he was in there with his future wife. Brooke let him kiss her, but she declined whatever other thing he had in mind to do to perk her up if she was sleepy.

That suggestion got Ridge his fourth citation, but I reduced it to just a warning when Brooke thanked him for reminding her of what they had together. Quinn joked that Ridge should have proposed to Brooke in the steam room because it was Bridge's special place. I wonder what would have happened if Brooke knew that Ridge had been in the steam room, massaging Quinn's feet.

Sheila cited for slipping Eric the tiramisu

First of all, let me just ask why the hell Sheila is still working at Il Giardino? This nurse who elevated herself in business at Forrester can't find a gig other than waiting tables? I guess not, because Rick did it, Amber did it, Donna did it, and Maya did it. Sheila's no stranger to it. She did it at a diner in Furnace Creek. I guess you work for Forrester or Spencer, or you wait tables.

The Forresters have clout with Il Giardino and give the restaurant a ton of business. Why don't they lean on Il Giardino to get rid of Sheila under threat of losing the Forrester lunchtime traffic? Could it be the secret tiramisus that Sheila keeps slipping Eric?

If this is the case, Sheila and Eric both get the romantic misconduct tickets. She gets one for using her dessert influence over Eric. Sheila's so desperate, she'll stand over Stephanie's grave with Pam if it will help Sheila get one millimeter closer to Eric. And that's why Eric gets his ticket for taking the desserts while knowing it makes Sheila think she's getting somewhere with him.

I'm confident that Quinn can put an end to the sweet nothing that Sheila tried to pass Eric's way that day. If Quinn didn't eat it herself, she probably told Eric that she'd gotten it for him. Hell will become a vacation resort before Quinn lets Sheila give Eric a gift through her.

I cannot fathom why Quinn and the rest of them would want to go to a restaurant where Sheila works. I don't even know if you can call it working when Sheila pulls up a seat with the guests in the middle of her shift, and she passes the time by gossipping about the guests, pressuring the guests into friendships, or being obnoxious to them.

Sheila doesn't work like she needs a job. She handed Mateo mystery wads of cash like they were spare toilet paper. Eric thought the cash was from real estate she'd sold off in Genoa City. Didn't Sheila burn her Genoa City property? I think they'd better look into who might be dead or missing in Genoa City.

Bill assaults Steffy in his daydreams

Bill Spencer gets a misconduct ticket not for anything he did this week, but for incessantly reliving what he already did to Steffy weeks back. Ridge says a little bit of Thorne goes a long way. Apparently, that's true about Steffy, too. It must be the Douglas genes.

Repulsed by what she and Bill did, Steffy trembles about it worse than she did after killing Aly. Can you imagine how rotten Steffy would feel if she knew Bill thought about it every freaking day and every freaking night?

During a meeting with Bill, Wyatt was all, "Spencer...Spencer...Spencer..." like Ferris Bueller's teacher. In Bill's mind flashed Steffy's back, her belly, and her neck, and all Bill heard was the R&B group Silk singing, "Let me lick you up and down till you say stop..."

Record scratch. Steffy said stop, Bill. Like two weeks ago and every day after. So you need to erase that video in your mind and find a way to view her as your son's wife again.

Wyatt was all like, "Wow, you must really miss Brooke." Brooke who? Brooke and her money lingerie ain't got nothing on the crotch rocket. I don't even know how Bill can even look Liam in the face after all this. Bill thinks that if one lies to himself enough, he'll start to believe the lie. That's what he told Steffy, but so far, all Bill has done is given himself the truth over and over and over again in his fantasies.

Just as Steffy lied to herself enough that she was convinced that she could lie to Liam for the rest of her life, Liam learned from Quinn that Steffy had lied about going to an actual destination the night the couple had argued. When he asked Steffy about it, she seemed about ready to rip the floorboards up and show him the soap, the loofah, the wadded-up panties, and the pregnancy test she buried there.

Well, Steffy hasn't taken a pregnancy test yet. But if we learned anything from Caroline, we know that complete hysteria and lack of sex with your actual partner since the incident means somebody's preggers.

Darlita thinks a blowout between Steffy and Liam will be good for the "demolition dust mates," but let's not forget that a pretty blonde with a hopeful outlook on the future is coming back to town. Could Hope plus Steffy's secret put Steffy and Liam out of steam the same way Thorne hopes he can use Ridge's secret to destroy Bridge?

A little bit of a little Thorne goes a long way

Ridge says a dab of Thorne will do ya, but Ridge seems worried that Brooke will break out in Thorne cooties if she spends too much time with Thorne. At least that's the excuse Ridge gave for all the constant intrusions upon Brooke and Thorne that I gave Ridge a stack of citations for. I wanted to give Thorne some citations, too, but he's being so smooth in making the moves on Brooke that I have to give him a little credit instead.

It was nothing short of brilliant for Thorne to turn down Eric's offer to stay at the mansion. I thought he'd get a luxury suite next door to the Avants or Sheila, or he'd just be floating around with no explanation of where he lives. Instead, he sweet-talked his way into a stay at Brooke's house by showing her his designs, pouring out his bleeding heart for Aly, and mentioning his Parisian culinary skills.

Thorne also managed to get Brooke to feel sorry enough for him that she now corrects Ridge every time he says "little brother." I do mean every time. In doing so, Thorne managed to get Brooke to defend him constantly, even while Ridge tried to romance her in the steam room.

Next, Thorne moved on to attacking Ridge's weakness, Ridge's ego. Thorne threatens Ridge at work by showing off Thorne's designs. Thorne attacks Ridge's personal life by threatening Ridge's chance to reunite his family. Because Thorne is family, Ridge looks like the problem person for raising a stink about Thorne, the underdog who finally returned home after coping with so much loss.

But remember, this is the same Thorne who fax-divorced Macy and who thought it was a good idea to make the killer of Aly's mother into Aly's new stepmother. Thorne has been underhanded, too, and has tried to take over the company, too. New face, same Thorne, honey.

In fact, I'm surprised Eric is even listening to Thorne because, while Thorne acts like he made a decision to move forward in his life after Aly's death, all Thorne talks about is getting vengeance on Ridge. Instead of being a real father and telling Thorne to cease and desist with the "Marone" talk, Eric is ready to fall in line with whatever Thorne wants him to think.

I totally understand Thorne wants acknowledgement as Eric's first-born son, but people downing Ridge for being a Marone is more played out than super tall box-top fades. Like Velcro shoes and Hammer pants, it happened; move on. Blood is just as thick, whether it's half or full. I bet Thorne won't be running around telling Rick that he's just a half-brother or telling R.J. that he's not a Forrester at all. Thorne better not if he wants some Trooke action.

Brooke told Ridge that he and his brother are adults, but why isn't she telling Thorne the same thing? Brooke lets Thorne say whatever he wants to about Ridge, but she readily corrects Ridge about Thorne. Actually, Brooke, you need to work on the Logans before you start in on Ridge and Thorne. You couldn't even be there to support your own husband -- a husband you took from your sister. Have several seats instead of trying to mediate between Thorne and Ridge.

Brooke and Eric are trying to get over the whole thing with Ridge and Quinn, and they need to tell Thorne that they are not turning against family over some kisses. Ridge has already been punished. He's not married to Brooke, and he had to watch her be with Bill. Eric also punished the heck out of Ridge by pouting in a hotel for a month, and if Eric isn't coming clean with Quinn about kissing Sheila, he needs to end it with the second thoughts about forgiving Ridge.

The idea that Thorne can just come in and reverse months of progress is just insane, but where Thorne really went wrong was shoving Ridge on the ground in Brooke's house. Thorne did some type of shove or grab at near vampiric speed, and the next thing you know, Ridge was on the floor. Ridge was so shocked by what had happened that he was smiling like he was still standing up.

Thorne said he was more of a man than Ridge, and he would push Ridge out of the company and Brooke's life. Well, I got news for you, Thorney-poo. Brooke doesn't like all the pushing and violence. When she finds Ridge on the floor, she's gonna run right to his defense. In fact, you might have just gotten your brother a night of romance with this move.

At least, it better be what happens. After Brooke acted like an abused wife over Bill punching Liam and acted as if she feared that Bill would be violent with her son, she had better have a strong reaction to Thorne putting Ridge on the floor. Something tells me that Brooke has a short memory when it comes to the excuses she made for leaving Bill.

In a look ahead

Coming up, Donna will be home for Christmas. Hopefully, Justin, who made his way into the opening show credits, will be waiting for her under the mistletoe.

Steffy continues to spiral down the guilt drain, but she does manage to get it on with her husband. Is Steffy on birth control? I'm asking for a powerful, neighing friend.

Thorne might earn that harassment citation next week when he confesses feelings for Brooke and kisses her. As if she couldn't figure out Thorne's feelings after he was back in town "for" her and then corrected himself to say "because" of her. Same thing, Thorne. Same thing.

Ridge asks Quinn to craft Brooke's fifteenth engagement ring because that's what every woman wants -- an engagement ring made by the woman your ex cheated with after you decided to marry him after all. Has it been six months already? Who's going to Vegas for Christmas, or are Bill and Brooke going the illegal annulment route?

Thanks for scooping with me on this snowy night. I'm about to get away from my window because the trees outside are crackling under the weight of the snow. It sounds scary, y'all! I lost power about nine times while chatting with you. Hopefully, I'll stay up long enough to post soon.

Until we scoop again, if you have an affair in your grandpa's guesthouse, be sure to tell step-grams not to mention to your spouse you showered there and used the bed, and if your father-in-law can't stop flashing back to your one-hit duet, you must be bold and beautiful, baby!

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