They had it comin'

Rick thought Ridge and Caroline did. Liam and Bill thought Rick did. But Brooke thought Rick didn't! Everyone was eager to feed off a tasty tray of just deserts, yet barely picked at the side dish of logic (and history) served with it. Sample the beginning of February Sweeps -- and Steffy's return -- with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you decide your office walls looked better with holes? Did you work tough love on your son by being tough on everyone else? Did you take stock during a trip down Memory Lane? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

Yes, Scoopers, I know: Steffy's back. Well, as it's common to say now, keep calm and...keep reading. We've got a lot of other ground to cover before we can talk about the entrance of the favorite Forrester daughter and her fabulously highlighted tips. It seems Rick wasn't the only one who missed his target, as last week's bang-up stories rather lost their way in a plume of gun smoke. I've got one Scoop in each holster, so join me as I stalk down Main Street with my spurs a'janglin'!

I can usually see a plot twist a mile away, but I admit I was way off about the trajectory of Rick's bullets. I was sure Rick was indulging in a dark fantasy, or at least that he'd have lousy aim, because obviously Ridge and Caroline have to live. I didn't consider the possibility that Rick might just shoot at them to scare them. He's been listening to his Chicago soundtrack again: "So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots. In...to...his...head!"

Novel enough twist, but talk about crossing a line. Rick just laughed and told Ridge to give the gun to his lawyer, Kris, who'd left the weapon behind in the first place. Instead, Ridge reached for another weapon -- his phone, on which he apparently has Lieutenant Baker on speed-dial. It would have been awesome, and only right, to see the crime fighter and his hot dogs again, but the shell-shocked Caroline begged Ridge not to involve the police!

"I cannot do that to him!" Caroline pleaded. Say what? Girl, you were a few feet away from being able to post your last selfie. But you can't put Rick in jail? This is where credibility started its week-long dissolve, largely due to our characters being unable to make up their minds. Caroline cowered like a battered wife, then grabbed a pen and signed Rick's divorce papers the second Kris inexplicably showed up with them late in the evening. (News flash: courts aren't open all night like 7-Eleven.)

Instead of getting the hell out of Dodge in case Rick came back with an Uzi or something, Ridge and Caroline stood in the same room where bullet holes were still smoking and had a "now what" conversation about their relationship. Now what? How about, oh, I don't know...going on a date? That's the same beat Ridge missed with Katie; CaRidge has such great chemistry, they should stretch it out a bit, build it into a real relationship, and not mess it up by rushing into it. Kridge, anyone?

Of course, everyone has to stay at Forrester, but I really liked the idea of Ridge and Caroline starting up their own design house. Imagine Rick's struggle as everyone defected to the new company, forcing him to hire strangers to create designs good enough to compete with Ridge. Dueling design houses wouldn't be original for B&B, but I'd be willing to make an exception in this case.

Over at Quinn Artisan Jewelers, a necklace stand was on Quinn's desk to give us the illusion she still actually designs anything. At least she gave up whimpering about Wyatt and moved on to being jealous of Brooke, which was followed by a retelling of Brooke's sordid history so new viewers could get up to speed on her. "I wonder who her next victim -- um, boyfriend is going to be," Quinn quipped. Oh, Quinn. You are not one who should be talking about victims.

See, this is why DeQuinn doesn't work for me. It began with Quinn pointing a gun at Deacon because he figured out she probably killed Ricardo Montemayor to ensure Wyatt inherited his diamond. And until we get some resolution on that, there ain't enough Febreze in the world to get rid of the smell of that elephant in the room. "Look at you and me. Who the hell saw that coming?" Indeed, Deacon. Why did the show start up what could have been a nifty murder mystery and then drop it?

Meanwhile, Brooke had her hands full with Maya, who was pulling a "who wore it better" in one of Brooke's Bedroom's slinky numbers. I kept remembering when Brooke squared her eyes at Amber 15 years ago, viewing the ingenue as an opportunist trying to take advantage of her virginal son. Except back then, Rick was virginal, and at this point, Maya is way worse than Amber was. Wonder what Miss Moore would have to say about the irony of all this?

Maya portrayed herself as the victim, telling Brooke how she had respected Rick's marriage to Caroline. If "respected" means you sauntered into a steam room and put the moves on your married ex, Maya, then yes, you did that. And Brooke seemed to have Maya's number -- but the second she heard it was Ridge's lips that came between her son and Caroline, Brooke didn't know what to be more bothered by! And that bothered me.

It only got worse after Rick came home and told his mama and mistress he'd fired on Ridge and "his wife." Maya didn't like that! But Rick shooting at Caroline with bullets and divorce papers one minute and calling her "his wife" the next indicates insanity to me. Is Brooke simply in denial, or is she losing it, too? At least she called Ridge to see if he was all right, which was cool until she turned around and wailed, "How could you?" about his kissing Caroline. Is it something in the water?

Brooke's balancing act really came into play when Donna came to chat. It was "poor Caroline" and "it's Ridge's fault" in the same breath. There was concern over how detached Rick was in talking about shooting at Ridge and Caroline then it was back to being jealous over a man she's been split from for a long time. It took Donna to remind Brooke that Rick shot Grant Chambers as a teen, when this is the first thing Brooke should have recalled upon hearing about Rick's gunplay!

So, did Brooke phone shrink James Warwick, who treated Rick the first time? Or even Taylor, who could at least give advice despite being partial from having once been Rick's lover? No. Brooke decided, "I am not going to let the company Eric and Stephanie built go down in a blaze of testosterone." Great line, but rather skewed priorities, there, don't you think, Brooke?

Ridge is the only one who had it right the whole week. He reported Rick's bullet-riddled bravado to Eric (who, I'm sorry, should have been on the first plane back) then told Rick he'd go to the police if Rick didn't step down as CEO. And Caroline was on board, after begging Ridge not to call the law the night before. The strength Ridge and Caroline showed in standing up to Rick made me happy.

And it was gettin' good, with Rick snorting that he'd merely tell the press about Ridge and Caroline's affair from his jail cell -- then Brooke burst in and blew it all to hell. "You're not calling anybody," the eldest Logan sister warned Ridge, "and if you don't like it, you can leave!" If this was meant to shock, it worked, but this demand is going too far.

Ridge's "Maybe you didn't hear me: he shot at us!" couldn't get through to Brooke, who instead complained that Ridge had made a play for her son's wife, who was half his age. "So that's what's bothering you," the again sensible Ridge pointed out. Look, I know many of you hate Brooke, and why. I have always tried to be fair regarding her, even when her inability to reign in her libido made her Scandal Queen of Los Angeles.

But making Ridge kissing another woman more important than her son's mental state? I'm so disappointed. Brooke went to Milan to get her ish together, and we've been promised some big story that's supposed to take Brooke into new territory. If this is it, you can keep it. Though Brooke admitted that her "screwed-up sex life" caused the rivalry between Ridge and Rick, she nonetheless demanded that Rick forgive Caroline and take her back!

You read that right, Scoopers. Brooke wanted Caroline to return to a man who shot at her. Thankfully, Caroline told Brooke "you have no idea what you walked into" and that she had no place popping off when she'd been gone for months. Perhaps Brooke got her warped logic from Bill, who paid her a visit for the express purpose of coldly declaring "everybody warned me about you" when he knew Brooke left to give Bill and Katie a chance to explore a reunion. That was a "Wednesday Thursday Friday" moment, if you know what I mean.

More moments requiring initials were going on at Spencer. Why the hell is Liam shipping Batie? Was he not there when Katie escaped from the tower Bill locked her in so she wouldn't tell Liam about Bill faking Steffy's MRI? I don't understand our show sometimes. Sure, the fun of soaps is watching people do bad things, but we can't just pretend that events in a soap's past didn't happen.

The same goes for the fact that nobody, and I mean nobody, ever pays for anything on this show. Both Bill and Quinn have broken several laws, but they're running around free. Now, Rick could and should be arrested for the assault with a deadly weapon and attempted murder Caroline said she could charge him with, but we've got Brooke giving him a slap on the wrist.

B&B can't be purposely trying to send the message that actions don't have consequences. And where are the stakes in a story when characters can do whatever they want? Wouldn't there be some delicious drama in Rick going to jail for a while -- especially since Maya has done time herself? Instead, the show comes off like a cartoon when everyone is above the law.

But I digress. Over at Spencer, the usually docile Liam, somehow emboldened because the nameplate on his door lists him as president, decided he should be the one to stop Rick -- by taking over Forrester Creations. Whaaaa? It's noble he wants to defend Ivy and Caroline against Rick's mistreatment, but Liam just got a promotion that'll keep him in the office well beyond an eight-hour workday, plus he has no experience in fashion houses. Yet he wants to be CEO.

Barracuda Bill loved the idea, of course, and seemed amenable to signing his 12.5% stake in Forrester over to Liam. Okay, that's good continuity. So was Liam deciding to seek out Steffy, who holds 25% herself. If she, Thomas, Ridge, and Bill put their shares together, they'd have controlling interest with a 62.5% share of Forrester. But therein lies the problem. Two problems, actually.

To begin with, we don't need Liam for this story. Steffy already knows about the company's problems and could have come back on her own to accomplish this feat. Hell, at this point, even Eric would probably be willing to kick in his 37.5%, giving them 100% of all Forrester stock to use against Rick. But wait! If stockholders can push a CEO out, why didn't they get together when Rick was jockeying for irrevocable control? And wouldn't Forrester's stockholders have had to approve Rick as CEO, irrevocable or not, in the first place?

Maybe real-life rules don't need to be injected into soaps, but it's watching characters work around those rules that's entertaining. And while I appreciate Liam growing a pair, bringing Steffy back now is an excuse to revisit Leffy just when Livy has solidified. I know that because music and flashbacks accompanied Steffy to Liam's house, where she even had to throw in a "cha-cha-cha." Oh, no! Anything but "cha-cha-cha!"

Now, I will say this: Jacqueline MacInnes Wood looks even more fierce somehow, and Steffy does bring a feisty energy the show has been missing. I understand that Liam and Steffy would need to talk about the child they lost -- and it's interesting to note that Steffy has talked to Hope now that they have miscarriages in common. But Steffy obviously still has it bad for Liam. And that's not good.

Yeah, Rick's gained plenty of enemies at Forrester -- but I have a feeling that Steffy, who has trounced him before, will prove to be his biggest headache. What do you think? It's your turn to Scoop in the Comments section below, on the Soap Central message boards, or by simply clicking here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column -- like these!

• "I totally agree with you Mike on the retrospective. I understand their time slot but I wish they would've hit more on classic B&B moments: Stephanie vs. Brooke, Ridge and Brooke, Sheila, etc." -- Melissa

• "So good to see the lovely Steffy back on the scene even if it is only a brief stay. She is like a breath of fresh air after suffering through years on end of the two Logan spawn and their constant childish tantrums. I still do not like nuRidge. He is just not the image that I have of the suave designer." -- Nannie

• "Too much yacking by the newbies [in the 7000th special episode]...I wanted more clips of past shows." -- Barbara

• "Could it be that Liam is committed [to Ivy] because no other woman is there? Also, Liam has said ["I love you"] to his other women, why is it different now? All I see is a 'love the one you're with' with Liam. Plus I find Livy extremely boring. I think that Maya's sister seems a breath of fresh air and I hope she gets a good story." -- Filomena

And that reminds me: What happened to Nicole? One tantalizing episode and she's nowhere to be seen; she should be a part of Maya's comeuppance. For that matter, what happened to Bill telling Maya she had 24 hours to move out of the Forrester mansion? It's been longer than that, even in soap time. And what happened to the condo Rick bought Maya? She lived there maybe a week -- will Rick sell it back to Steffy?

Let's explore a few other curiosities in Points to Ponder:

Why was Pam posing next to the bullet holes for Charlie's picture? You'd think leaking that image to the press would be enough to unseat Rick as CEO... Caroline asked Kris for a pen when she had a whole carousel of writing implements right in front of her... "You owe me! You're never going to make it right between us," Brooke told Ridge. Yet she just came from telling Donna that "Ridge and I put that behind us a long time ago." Admittedly, Brooke's "not everyone can feel and forget like you can" certainly sheds light on Ridge's ability to waffle over the years...

"The only peace I've been getting is with Maya," Rick declared to his mother. Yeah, that's pretty obvious, Rick... "I wish Eric were here," Pam sighed. "He could handle his sons." Since when? He's let them run amok for 28 years... "Bill's energy isn't dark," Ivy observed. Tell that to Amber, who almost died because of Dollah's murder plot... "It reminds me of when Brooke ran the company," Steffy told Liam, comparing Rick's reign to that "dark time for Forrester." For all Brooke's failings, she actually brought the design house to new heights as its CEO. Is Steffy going to spend her visit doing her history-rewriting anti-Logan stuff again? That is so 2010.

That's all I've got for you, Scoopers. Chanel will be back next week as she fills in while Tracy is on maternity leave, and I'll be back with more of these musings February 16. Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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